The rug does not match the drapes, dude.
So in the parade of Attainable Men Who Want To Fuck Me, there's a guy who works at one of the bars I frequent. I'm not sure how much power he holds to get me a job spinning there, so I flirt with him, which is all good. I like flirting. Flirting can help me get places.
For whatever reason, he wants me to dye my hair black. He's the only one, I told him. Everyone else likes the red it's been for the past ten years. He's still after me to dye it black.
Until today, when he's texting me. See, I was at the bar the night before, just hanging out, drinking beer, and playing pool. And flirting. He's working, but he talks to me whenever he can. Fine. Except that leads to the texts I'm getting today, one of which says:
I want u 2 do ur hair bright red.
My response is to tell him that, um, I thought you wanted me to color it black. Which he texts to me:
Changed my mind u got a firecrotch n should b proud. Just make it brite red. I'll give you a orgasm.
Uh, dude? First off, there is no firecrotch--my hair is coloured, it's naturally dark brown. Second, no way in hell I'm fucking you, you're a dog and you have bad teeth. Granted, you look better with your recent haircut, but the fact still remains that you have bad teeth and I definitely do not want to look at your face between my legs.
Needless to say, I left that text unanswered. So back to the IPod and my little pink toy.
For whatever reason, he wants me to dye my hair black. He's the only one, I told him. Everyone else likes the red it's been for the past ten years. He's still after me to dye it black.
Until today, when he's texting me. See, I was at the bar the night before, just hanging out, drinking beer, and playing pool. And flirting. He's working, but he talks to me whenever he can. Fine. Except that leads to the texts I'm getting today, one of which says:
I want u 2 do ur hair bright red.
My response is to tell him that, um, I thought you wanted me to color it black. Which he texts to me:
Changed my mind u got a firecrotch n should b proud. Just make it brite red. I'll give you a orgasm.
Uh, dude? First off, there is no firecrotch--my hair is coloured, it's naturally dark brown. Second, no way in hell I'm fucking you, you're a dog and you have bad teeth. Granted, you look better with your recent haircut, but the fact still remains that you have bad teeth and I definitely do not want to look at your face between my legs.
Needless to say, I left that text unanswered. So back to the IPod and my little pink toy.