(no subject)
I'm slightly drunk. its awesome.
3rd night in a row or something. I've had half a bottle of red
it makes me want to say thngs to some people. you know... the whole "removes your inabitions" kinda thing
I fucking hate my depression, I want to get up and out. move on and move up.
I know I'm getting there slowley, and I know slow is good, cos any faster and I might vomit or something.
its just... gah and stuff...
everything needs to be done, and everything is slowley getting done, just wish I didn't have to worry about work, money, bills, family, christmas, birthdays, health and all that crap at the same time.
its good that I am getting out every so often. I get to catch up with people, have a bit of a social life, escape the house and depression for a afternoon or so. but its just that.. an escape for a while. after the afternoon is over I have to go back home... I don't want to go back home. I want my OWN home. I want to be free to make my own decisions, my own mestakes, my own fuckups so that I can learn from them, move on and grow up. get some life experience. I am trapped here and I fucking need to break free. free from family, free from the strangle hold of living with my parents, from responcibilities that I don't really care about, and even from relationships altogether.
I need to be myself. and be by myslef
there are just things (and people) I want to do with out having to worry about "I would if I was single..." or "sorry, I have to go off and do the 'happy loving taken boyfriend' thing now"
I am so sick of being "taken"
I need my space and my fredom.
well anyway. the wine is wearing off, and I have work in the morning
(oh how I would fucking LOVE to keep drinking and make some horney phone sex phonecalls right now and not worry about what time I have to get up tomorrow or any other shit)
so I better head off to bed.
I hope to see you all soon cos I like getting out. It is improving my genral mood.
I'm out of here.
love you
-Daz
ps. I'll spell check in the morning :P
3rd night in a row or something. I've had half a bottle of red
it makes me want to say thngs to some people. you know... the whole "removes your inabitions" kinda thing
I fucking hate my depression, I want to get up and out. move on and move up.
I know I'm getting there slowley, and I know slow is good, cos any faster and I might vomit or something.
its just... gah and stuff...
everything needs to be done, and everything is slowley getting done, just wish I didn't have to worry about work, money, bills, family, christmas, birthdays, health and all that crap at the same time.
its good that I am getting out every so often. I get to catch up with people, have a bit of a social life, escape the house and depression for a afternoon or so. but its just that.. an escape for a while. after the afternoon is over I have to go back home... I don't want to go back home. I want my OWN home. I want to be free to make my own decisions, my own mestakes, my own fuckups so that I can learn from them, move on and grow up. get some life experience. I am trapped here and I fucking need to break free. free from family, free from the strangle hold of living with my parents, from responcibilities that I don't really care about, and even from relationships altogether.
I need to be myself. and be by myslef
there are just things (and people) I want to do with out having to worry about "I would if I was single..." or "sorry, I have to go off and do the 'happy loving taken boyfriend' thing now"
I am so sick of being "taken"
I need my space and my fredom.
well anyway. the wine is wearing off, and I have work in the morning
(oh how I would fucking LOVE to keep drinking and make some horney phone sex phonecalls right now and not worry about what time I have to get up tomorrow or any other shit)
so I better head off to bed.
I hope to see you all soon cos I like getting out. It is improving my genral mood.
I'm out of here.
love you
-Daz
ps. I'll spell check in the morning :P