(no subject)
so here i am, writing to you on the last wednesday of my life...for my life will be no more after i go to indiana. what is there to do there? that is the question. many times have i wondered, what is the meaning of being here, on earth. i have no religion because i cant seem to put all my faith into someTHING i have neither seen, and i have not witnessed any miracles. i am very lucky to live in a rich house, i know, and to live in a family that is screwed up, but not as much as others. i really am a tough person, for i was teased alot as a kid (in elementary school) and somehow made it to popularity in middle school and am now average in highschool. i hope to change the world somehow, make a difference you know? but how? i have no ideas and hope to help people, but HOW!? i used to look up to my father, but everything has changed. i have no hero, no idol, no nothing. i love my friends, but only one has really stood by my side. thanks megan, what would i do without you? not only has my father changed my family life, he ruined my relationship with my "friends" although one cannot really call them that, for they left the moment i was not all "happy" like i used to be. now, making my life harder (although not all that hard, dont get me wrong) i have to move even though MY life was finally getting better. i know this sounds selfish, but i dont understand why god hates me so much?!? what have i done? i try to stick up for people and be nice but seriously? all this crap within a six month period? IS HE TRYING TO KILL ME? i think so. i have triumphed over him though! hahaha. there was a point when i thought he won, but NO! i win. i don't think i could have done it without all my real friends. even though there are only a couple, you guys are the best. megan, im gonna miss you so much. you guys know who you are...I LOVE YOU ALL.