(no subject)
I had so much fun last night. Most of my friends want to stay on the Eastside, so it's kind of a treat when I can talk them into hanging out downtown on a Friday night. But the Eastside was pretty dead, and I volunteered to drive.
We got to Twist, a pretty cool bar, and met up there. Looking around there was a table with two drag queens there who looked like they could've played tackle for the NFL. Maybe only for a crappy team like the Patriots, but still ;)
We're sitting in this cramped booth, 4 guys, and at the next table there are 3 Japanese giggling tipsy girls. One of them hands a camera to my friend and mimes taking a picture. He stands up and I yell, "Jeff! Jeff! Wait!!!" He looks at me with a puzzled look on his face and I say, "Take a picture of us, then give them back the camera and say 'thank you'!!!"
So he does. We're just pissing ourselves laughing, and the girls have this deer-in-the-headlights look and don't know what to do. So he gets back up and takes their picture and they're happy.
Then I heard from this gal I ran into the week before, used to be a trainer at the gym I worked out at. She's beautiful and friendly, but very young. Anyway, she was with a friend so we told them to come by. We all squeezed into this tiny booth, 6 of us where there's room for 3 or so, and joking around. It's clear to me from the minute I see her that I'm in the 'friends' category, but I don't care, I go out to have fun, and we did. It's also nice hanging out with beautiful women. They stayed about a half hour or so then went to dance at some club.
Soon as they leave, Rich spots a woman who looks familiar (turns out there's a bday party there with about 10 women, 2 of whom know him). She comes over and looks at him and asks, "Is your name Scott?" He hesitates, so Todd and I both yell out, "Yes! Sit down!" Everyone laughs and she sits down, he tells her his name and they actually know each other. She sits for a few minutes, then gets up with Rich to see the other people there.
Afterwards, this other gal sits down, she's a friend of Rich's. She's very pretty but sort of straight-laced. Which to me is sort of raw meat, in the "let's fuck with someone" category. So it turns out she teaches cheerleading at a high school, and the guys have fun with that for a while. The convo ebbs and I ask her what else she teaches. She frowns and hesitates and avoids the answer. Now I know I'm onto something so I'm grinning and prodding her, finally she says, "health."
"You mean like, sex education?" *nods* "Like, STD's, birth control, yadda yadda yadda?" "Mmm-hmmm." "Okay, so do you guys do that thing when you unwrap a condom and stretch it over a banana to demonstrate how it works?" "No. [resigned look on her face] We have a model." Now I'm really having fun so I go to the other side of the booth so I'm sitting next to her. And we make her describe the model, she's annoyed but we're being funny so she's trying not to crack up. She's used to keeping peurile immature boys in their place so she feels right at home. Me, I'm on a mission to get her to lose her composure.
So whatever we say to try to shock her, she grins but doesn't laugh. It's a contest and I'm too competitive. Todd says, "So do they ask a lot of questions?" And she says yes, they ask really stupid questions but everyone's glad because they secretly don't know. Then I say to Todd, well, it's like all those questions you're always asking me. She looks at me, grinning, and says, "Like what?"
So I say, "You know, like when you asked me if you can get pregnant from anal sex? And I told you, 'of course, where do you think lawyers come from?'" She falls over laughing.
Game, set, match. I win.
We got to Twist, a pretty cool bar, and met up there. Looking around there was a table with two drag queens there who looked like they could've played tackle for the NFL. Maybe only for a crappy team like the Patriots, but still ;)
We're sitting in this cramped booth, 4 guys, and at the next table there are 3 Japanese giggling tipsy girls. One of them hands a camera to my friend and mimes taking a picture. He stands up and I yell, "Jeff! Jeff! Wait!!!" He looks at me with a puzzled look on his face and I say, "Take a picture of us, then give them back the camera and say 'thank you'!!!"
So he does. We're just pissing ourselves laughing, and the girls have this deer-in-the-headlights look and don't know what to do. So he gets back up and takes their picture and they're happy.
Then I heard from this gal I ran into the week before, used to be a trainer at the gym I worked out at. She's beautiful and friendly, but very young. Anyway, she was with a friend so we told them to come by. We all squeezed into this tiny booth, 6 of us where there's room for 3 or so, and joking around. It's clear to me from the minute I see her that I'm in the 'friends' category, but I don't care, I go out to have fun, and we did. It's also nice hanging out with beautiful women. They stayed about a half hour or so then went to dance at some club.
Soon as they leave, Rich spots a woman who looks familiar (turns out there's a bday party there with about 10 women, 2 of whom know him). She comes over and looks at him and asks, "Is your name Scott?" He hesitates, so Todd and I both yell out, "Yes! Sit down!" Everyone laughs and she sits down, he tells her his name and they actually know each other. She sits for a few minutes, then gets up with Rich to see the other people there.
Afterwards, this other gal sits down, she's a friend of Rich's. She's very pretty but sort of straight-laced. Which to me is sort of raw meat, in the "let's fuck with someone" category. So it turns out she teaches cheerleading at a high school, and the guys have fun with that for a while. The convo ebbs and I ask her what else she teaches. She frowns and hesitates and avoids the answer. Now I know I'm onto something so I'm grinning and prodding her, finally she says, "health."
"You mean like, sex education?" *nods* "Like, STD's, birth control, yadda yadda yadda?" "Mmm-hmmm." "Okay, so do you guys do that thing when you unwrap a condom and stretch it over a banana to demonstrate how it works?" "No. [resigned look on her face] We have a model." Now I'm really having fun so I go to the other side of the booth so I'm sitting next to her. And we make her describe the model, she's annoyed but we're being funny so she's trying not to crack up. She's used to keeping peurile immature boys in their place so she feels right at home. Me, I'm on a mission to get her to lose her composure.
So whatever we say to try to shock her, she grins but doesn't laugh. It's a contest and I'm too competitive. Todd says, "So do they ask a lot of questions?" And she says yes, they ask really stupid questions but everyone's glad because they secretly don't know. Then I say to Todd, well, it's like all those questions you're always asking me. She looks at me, grinning, and says, "Like what?"
So I say, "You know, like when you asked me if you can get pregnant from anal sex? And I told you, 'of course, where do you think lawyers come from?'" She falls over laughing.
Game, set, match. I win.