Ecstasy is:
when everything you've been working for just falls into place.
I feel extraordinarily awesome right now. I sounded awful over the weekend and I was just frustrated with all the technical stuff I've been working on, and "Jubal's Lyre" sounded worse than ever. Suddenly, two nights ago, the breath just clicked, and I got both melismas. I was very excited. So, about an hour and a half ago, I get up from a nap (after an all-nighter last night to finish a paper) and go down to the basement to practice expecting nothing so spectacular because I was exhausted and had been very mediocre in choir. Well, I opened my mouth and sounded so good right away, I didn't even bother to really warm up. I just did some technique stuff and moved on to rep. Apparently, I managed to learn two things in my sleep (let's call it divine inspiration):
1) I basically figured out the German language in general, including all those stupid umlauts. And then I rocked Brahms.
2) I rocked Jubal even more! Seriously, I opened my mouth at the beginning and started singing as fast as I've heard it recorded, and it was one right thing after another. Those horrible F's and E's at the beginning sounded nice and in tune, my tone was about the best it's ever been, and I soared just about effortlessly through all the coloratura (granted, my diaphragm hurts now). The notes were even, distict, and up to speed, and most of it was actually in tune (still a few problem spots). I sang through it once more and the same thing happened. I felt as though I started singing and then reached the end all in one breath, I had been so caught up in it. I was absolutely elated, and I ran upstairs to show my roommate, but she was asleep (bummer). So then I ran back down and did it one more time to make sure it wasn't a fluke. And now it's too late to call anyone, most people who care are asleep, and nobody's online. So I just had to tell you because I felt about ready to burst. Sometimes bragging is just necessary. I don't even know how I'm going to get to sleep now with all this excitement. It's like Christmas for a little kid. So there, Mr. Handel.
I don't know if this will actually last, but all my frustration in the last two months and work on technique has clearly amounted to something. Also, I'm pretty sure everything mostly fell into place because I was so pleased with my sound. It's all confidence. Now I just have to figure out how to reproduce it all the time, even in auditions. If I were to sing like that for School of Music auditions, they'd take me for music ed in a heartbeat. It won't happen, but maybe I can get closer *crosses fingers*.
ALSO I am going to the opera (Die Frau ohne Schatten) to see Deborah Voigt on Tuesday night. ALSO ALSO I am going to Caroline Crane and the operas here on Saturday. A play and two Menotti operas and Strauss opera with Deborah Voigt. How awesome is (the artistic aspect of) my life right now?
The reason I've qualified "my life" is that this morning, I had a little catastrophe. Because I am a proscrastinator, I stayed up all night doing a research paper for my seminar. Then, at 8:00 this morning, I went back (after a very short break) to my paper to proofread it in the hour before class started, and it wasn't there. Disappeared, like the fine morning mist, and my first draft was in its place. I wanted to puke. I ran down to the professor's office in my pajamas to explain, but she wasn't there, so I just waited outside the classroom door. Finally, five minutes before class started, I found the paper . . . but I didn't have time to proofread it. I just had to turn in what I had. In some ways, I probably would have been able to turn in a better paper if I had never found it and had gotten an extension to rewrite my paper, but that would suck in all sorts of ways. Whatever, this paper was stupid. It was a pre-report for our REAL research paper basically telling about our research. No idea why this should count for twenty percent of our grade. When I went back after class, I found four typos. It could be worse, but that's definitely enough to merit points off. My style is not up to its usual par either. No sleep will do that to you. Oh well. You win some, you lose some. I can always revise it later. I may slip a proofread version under her door tomorrow morning - it's the computer's fault I didn't get to proofread, but I really should have had the paper finished by that point.
And that's about it. Night night! It's three a.m.
<3 CE
P.S. I miss Kevin <3!
P.P.S. Thanksgiving, one more week of school, reading week, one exam, and then home on the eleventh. Yay!