And (it) made me feel excited, well, excited and scared
I know I'm beyond ready to go to college, but all the sudden I'm nervous for the first time about leaving. I'm not afraid of where I'm going. I know I'll make friends and do well academically and all that jazz. But I'm afraid to leave all this behind.
This has just struck in the past couple of hours, probably because this is the latest I've been up in months and I'm exhausted, so I'm losing perspective. But seriously, my puppy is disconcerted. I was up packing, and she left my parents' bed (very unusual) and came to sit under my desk. And then she sort of moaned at me. It's creepy. I swear she knows I'm leaving her and I can't bear to do it. Poor puppy. Silly as this may sound, she's the one I'm most reluctant to leave, because she doesn't understand where I'm going.
But I'm also SUPER close with my mom. We're really affectionate, and we talk about everything. It's hard to imagine life without ten-times-a-day hugs and kisses. Ugh. Not to mention my dad and my grandparents, and my closest friends. And my bed and my room and everything I love! At least I don't have to leave Kevin. That's done.
Earlier tonight, when I was saying goodbye to my friends, I felt guilty because some of them seemed really sad, and I wasn't at all. Well, now I am. It's not the overwhelming emotion, but it's definitely there.
I am soooo sleep-deprived. I need to read a little and then get two hours of sleep.
<3 CE