for once.. i have a lot to say.
hmm. this year.. i'm going to try to go into the school year with a positive attitude. i mean, obviously i'm not going to love the idea of homework and studying and everything, but why not make the best of it? i really want to try. i finally have the will. i want to become a psychologist someday, and i think that i need to really try hard these next two years, because then, the hard stuff comes in: college. i don't like worrying about the future.. but i suppose i have to to some extent.
this school year.. i don't think i'm going to really do many ((if any)) after school things.
i don't really enjoy track all that much.. i basically just joined to stay in shape.. and the anxiety of the whole race thing is just too much ((my therapist and i have tried to conquer the whole anxiety thing, but i just think this is the way i am)) .. i might do student council, just to keep myself somewhat involved.
this is going to be the first year that i'll have a job and be in school at the same time, and it freaks me out a bit. i felt beat with all the work i had last year ((esp. from that damn bio teacher)) and i had no job then. --
i wonder if i'll still feel as lonely this year.. i mean, last year, i didn't really have anyone to eat lunch with.. so i just kind of wandered instead of eating, i felt lonely.. but i really don't have all that many friends.
((the next paragraph may or may not aggravate the occasional reader.. however, these are my thoughts.. don't like it? don't read it.))
i consider a friend to be a person who i can tell anything to, who i talk to almost every day. that defenition narrows me down to 2 friends. there are others who i talk to once in a while.. but they really don't know anything about me, and i know close to nothing about them.. i consider these people to be 'friendly aquaintances' .. the title doesn't meanl my opinion of them or my liking for them is low, just the form of relationship i have with them. i would not consider that to be an insult.. because i'm not being insulting in any way.
though it sounds as if i wish i had more friends, i really don't. i enjoy having very few friends. this way i can concentrate on the relationships better and create a better bond. --however.. i don't really have all that many 'friendly aquaintances' either. which is probably why i felt so lonely during school. i've come to find myself to be a lot more shy and anti-social than i ever really thought of myself as. but i guess that's just the way i am. and i'm pretty happy with me. i like what i have. i don't think i'd want anything more or anything less.
this school year.. i don't think i'm going to really do many ((if any)) after school things.
i don't really enjoy track all that much.. i basically just joined to stay in shape.. and the anxiety of the whole race thing is just too much ((my therapist and i have tried to conquer the whole anxiety thing, but i just think this is the way i am)) .. i might do student council, just to keep myself somewhat involved.
this is going to be the first year that i'll have a job and be in school at the same time, and it freaks me out a bit. i felt beat with all the work i had last year ((esp. from that damn bio teacher)) and i had no job then. --
i wonder if i'll still feel as lonely this year.. i mean, last year, i didn't really have anyone to eat lunch with.. so i just kind of wandered instead of eating, i felt lonely.. but i really don't have all that many friends.
((the next paragraph may or may not aggravate the occasional reader.. however, these are my thoughts.. don't like it? don't read it.))
i consider a friend to be a person who i can tell anything to, who i talk to almost every day. that defenition narrows me down to 2 friends. there are others who i talk to once in a while.. but they really don't know anything about me, and i know close to nothing about them.. i consider these people to be 'friendly aquaintances' .. the title doesn't meanl my opinion of them or my liking for them is low, just the form of relationship i have with them. i would not consider that to be an insult.. because i'm not being insulting in any way.
though it sounds as if i wish i had more friends, i really don't. i enjoy having very few friends. this way i can concentrate on the relationships better and create a better bond. --however.. i don't really have all that many 'friendly aquaintances' either. which is probably why i felt so lonely during school. i've come to find myself to be a lot more shy and anti-social than i ever really thought of myself as. but i guess that's just the way i am. and i'm pretty happy with me. i like what i have. i don't think i'd want anything more or anything less.