Paranoia
I'm in a paranoid state right now. I think the reason I'm afraid to get close to people is that they will use what they know about me against me in some way, or try to hurt me.
I sometimes wonder if my history of therapy will come back to haunt me someday. Who knows what they can do with technology these days? I hope my files can't somehow be accessed from the internet or something. If they were in a computer originally, maybe it's possible. Maybe there's a bunch of psych files floating on the internet somewhere.
I also don't want my mom to see any of the psychological stuff I've been looking at on the internet for fear I will be sent back into therapy, and then they might decide I need to be hospitalized. I know they'd certainly get the wrong idea about me and come to that decision. I'd hate the idea of being held against my will. I'd probably fight back because they would be wrong. How would I know whether something is harmful intent or not? I don't know what people are thinking.
I probably should go to bed soon. I think I'm posting too much. By the time I wake up, I will probably not believe I even wrote this.
I sometimes wonder if my history of therapy will come back to haunt me someday. Who knows what they can do with technology these days? I hope my files can't somehow be accessed from the internet or something. If they were in a computer originally, maybe it's possible. Maybe there's a bunch of psych files floating on the internet somewhere.
I also don't want my mom to see any of the psychological stuff I've been looking at on the internet for fear I will be sent back into therapy, and then they might decide I need to be hospitalized. I know they'd certainly get the wrong idea about me and come to that decision. I'd hate the idea of being held against my will. I'd probably fight back because they would be wrong. How would I know whether something is harmful intent or not? I don't know what people are thinking.
I probably should go to bed soon. I think I'm posting too much. By the time I wake up, I will probably not believe I even wrote this.