My Mom and Fire Season
So, yesterday my mom came out to me about what happened when she tried to poison herself with alcohol. She ended up drinking 3/4 of a bottle of Jagermeister, and that's what killed her. She was afraid she was going to die, yet she still wanted more to drink. So she realized that maybe she's starting to develop a problem. Then she told me something else which surprised me. She went down to Teresa's house at 3 in the morning. She was on her hands and knees. She first knocked on their door a couple times, but there was no answer. So she rang the doorbell and Teresa came to the door, let her in and they talked. My mom said that my dad knew she drank, but didn't know she did that. She says she's probably going to tell him because she doesn't want to keep things from him anymore.
My mom admitted to me that she was probably using alcohol as a crutch, whenever she's sad (she's still mourning her mom's death) and she told me that everyone around her effects her, the whole situation, that makes her want to drink. Even, she says when my dad doesn't drink with her, she still wants to. That's a sign that it starts becoming an addiction, that she actually craves it.
She didn't say specifically how everyone effects her, but I know her feelings all too well. I know addiction all too well. I didn't tell her I was trying to hurt myself (that's kind of an addiction too). Everyone effects me in the family too, so she's not alone. Especially with my brother and Kourtnei, and the dogs being in the house all the time. It drives me up the wall. My mom told me before, that their situation doesn't bother her, but I don't know if that's true. I know she just wishes my dad would appreciate her and showed that he cares about her. I don't really see it, and I don't think she gets enough from him. She thought for sure he would take her to the hospital that night, but he didn't. He doesn't understand at all.
It upsets me to see my mom in misery. I really think she should see a therapist. We both probably should because I think we're both suffering. I haven't even begun to tell my mom about how I think I'm clinically depressed. My mom says she just needs to find another coping mechanism and that she might take up painting again. That might be good, but I still think she could use some professional help.
In other news, fire season has started here in California. There's a fire in Camp Pendleton right now. Here's to hoping the fires don't become really bad again and that we remain safe.
Also, I wonder if Hurricane Norbert is going to bring us any cooler weather (it's headed toward Baja.) Probably not even close, but one can hope.
My mom admitted to me that she was probably using alcohol as a crutch, whenever she's sad (she's still mourning her mom's death) and she told me that everyone around her effects her, the whole situation, that makes her want to drink. Even, she says when my dad doesn't drink with her, she still wants to. That's a sign that it starts becoming an addiction, that she actually craves it.
She didn't say specifically how everyone effects her, but I know her feelings all too well. I know addiction all too well. I didn't tell her I was trying to hurt myself (that's kind of an addiction too). Everyone effects me in the family too, so she's not alone. Especially with my brother and Kourtnei, and the dogs being in the house all the time. It drives me up the wall. My mom told me before, that their situation doesn't bother her, but I don't know if that's true. I know she just wishes my dad would appreciate her and showed that he cares about her. I don't really see it, and I don't think she gets enough from him. She thought for sure he would take her to the hospital that night, but he didn't. He doesn't understand at all.
It upsets me to see my mom in misery. I really think she should see a therapist. We both probably should because I think we're both suffering. I haven't even begun to tell my mom about how I think I'm clinically depressed. My mom says she just needs to find another coping mechanism and that she might take up painting again. That might be good, but I still think she could use some professional help.
In other news, fire season has started here in California. There's a fire in Camp Pendleton right now. Here's to hoping the fires don't become really bad again and that we remain safe.
Also, I wonder if Hurricane Norbert is going to bring us any cooler weather (it's headed toward Baja.) Probably not even close, but one can hope.