It's The Little Things That Make My Anxiety Shoot Through the Roof
So, anyway yesterday I had some short bursts of extreme anxiety. It started off with my concentration being off. I was playing Anacapri, but I obviously wasn't in the mood to play it because I was getting more frustrated with the puzzles than I normally would. I printed out some hints for one of the puzzles, but the hints weren't helping so I threw them. So I decided maybe I really shouldn't play this right now. I did find out later that I wasn't ready to solve that puzzle yet so it wasn't activated.
Then the past couple of nights and well almost anytime I'm in class I get this unknown anxiety. I know it's not related to people like it used to be. There's no thought there, only an unexplainable feeling of nervousness. I can't really pin point what it is exactly, but it may be the fluorescent lighting in the classes making me anxious. After all I'm much less anxious with the lights off. Otherwise I don't know what it could be. I often get nervous before class too, even if I know I enjoy the class. Ugh, random anxiety sucks.
By the time I got home I wanted to hide in my room and lose myself, but I decided we would watch Terminator which we recorded. At one point I was fast forwarding the show and when I went to push play, it wouldn't play. I wailed and threw the remote. My mom said "what happened?" I said "I threw it" and she said "that's not like you." Yeah, I was feeling frustrated last night.
Then this afternoon I took a test. When I was done I called my mom to pick me up. It was going to be 15 minutes so I sat in the lounge and read. Then my advisor came in and said hello, only she had to say it twice because I didn't know she was talking to me. I said hi and she asked how my classes were going and what I was taking. I wanted her to leave. Then she said "well I'm going to make sure you do something for me" (basically she wants me to do something at the college to help out) I was thinking "fuck no, I'm not doing anything." So, here my anxiety skyrocketed again. Ugh I felt like I wanted to hide again. The thing is, I realize I can keep myself from freaking out if I distract myself.
Then the past couple of nights and well almost anytime I'm in class I get this unknown anxiety. I know it's not related to people like it used to be. There's no thought there, only an unexplainable feeling of nervousness. I can't really pin point what it is exactly, but it may be the fluorescent lighting in the classes making me anxious. After all I'm much less anxious with the lights off. Otherwise I don't know what it could be. I often get nervous before class too, even if I know I enjoy the class. Ugh, random anxiety sucks.
By the time I got home I wanted to hide in my room and lose myself, but I decided we would watch Terminator which we recorded. At one point I was fast forwarding the show and when I went to push play, it wouldn't play. I wailed and threw the remote. My mom said "what happened?" I said "I threw it" and she said "that's not like you." Yeah, I was feeling frustrated last night.
Then this afternoon I took a test. When I was done I called my mom to pick me up. It was going to be 15 minutes so I sat in the lounge and read. Then my advisor came in and said hello, only she had to say it twice because I didn't know she was talking to me. I said hi and she asked how my classes were going and what I was taking. I wanted her to leave. Then she said "well I'm going to make sure you do something for me" (basically she wants me to do something at the college to help out) I was thinking "fuck no, I'm not doing anything." So, here my anxiety skyrocketed again. Ugh I felt like I wanted to hide again. The thing is, I realize I can keep myself from freaking out if I distract myself.