*~*~*~LIFE*~*~*~*~
so last night we get a call telling us that my Grandpa is in the hospital and he's not doing so well.. :\.. not good.. i was never really close with him and now it doesn't look like i will be .. it's wierd because i was just telling someone how much i should really go down there and pay him a visit before it's too late.. i'm ok .. a bit sad.. but i'll live.. i'm worried about mom though she doesn't look so well.. what really worried me is that the whle family is going to be so busy trying to be strong for one another that they won't get to really grieve... blahness..
on another note things are really looking up.. i;m doing well in school, and the whole job thing isn't bad at all.. i like thepeople i work with with the exception of a few people that shall remain nameless.. but for the most part it's good..
i haven't really spoken to james at all and i feel relieved about it.. i like my life right now.. i was reading some old entries from my other journal and WOW ive changed.. granted i'm still very self-indulged and whiney.. but not as much and i'm a much stronger person than last year... jeez a year ago i wouldn't have been able to survive this long being single .. not even just being single but without james.. i was soo co-dependant when i was with him, it's really scary.. i'm very happy to have moved away from that, it was way too painful ..
everynow and then he pops into my head.. like around now... this time last year we were so completely happy .. but then we broke up by oct 18th.. things change so quickly.. "one day it's heaven, one day it's hell".. so true
i've also noticed that i'm less indecisive, which is a good thing.. i'm more stable.. wow i didn't even know that notion was possible..
i;m so tired of worrying all the time, i'm tired of being worried that someone's going to hurt me.. it's really a pain in the ass.. i mean people are always going to do what is in their best interest so as long as i watch my back i'll be ok.. it seems to be the only way to get through life until i find the one person i can love and trust.. if there is such a person out there.. i am optimistic despite all of my worrying...
life is good
on another note things are really looking up.. i;m doing well in school, and the whole job thing isn't bad at all.. i like thepeople i work with with the exception of a few people that shall remain nameless.. but for the most part it's good..
i haven't really spoken to james at all and i feel relieved about it.. i like my life right now.. i was reading some old entries from my other journal and WOW ive changed.. granted i'm still very self-indulged and whiney.. but not as much and i'm a much stronger person than last year... jeez a year ago i wouldn't have been able to survive this long being single .. not even just being single but without james.. i was soo co-dependant when i was with him, it's really scary.. i'm very happy to have moved away from that, it was way too painful ..
everynow and then he pops into my head.. like around now... this time last year we were so completely happy .. but then we broke up by oct 18th.. things change so quickly.. "one day it's heaven, one day it's hell".. so true
i've also noticed that i'm less indecisive, which is a good thing.. i'm more stable.. wow i didn't even know that notion was possible..
i;m so tired of worrying all the time, i'm tired of being worried that someone's going to hurt me.. it's really a pain in the ass.. i mean people are always going to do what is in their best interest so as long as i watch my back i'll be ok.. it seems to be the only way to get through life until i find the one person i can love and trust.. if there is such a person out there.. i am optimistic despite all of my worrying...
life is good