i dont know what i'm living for, but i know i just wanna live some more.
this isnt neccessary, just routine.
sometimes, i wonder who my friends are, and what the fuck i am doing brushing some of them off, for others, that can sometimes be not so nice.
i find it irrefutably strange that the later i'm staying up, the less tired during the day i am. Its all about the hydration.
Its like living with everything scattered around randomly is really getting to me. NOTHING has a place, well, except for my shoes. But seriously, you know how you have little niches for every personal possession in your life? mine seem to be transplanted all over the world. I am lost in my own thoughts. On that same note, it seems like no one in my life has a set position, as much as i'd like to think they do, and where ever i place someone, it always feels like they dont belong there. and i have many people that i admire and love, but they are all located at different ever-changing spots in my life, and its aggravating. Where's the rock. the pillar, if you will. clearly it was never moulded in my mind to begin with. which makes me wonder, can you teach yourself something you werent taught when you were young, and i mean really teach yourself to do it. I find whenever I try to manipulate the way i was raised, i can never do it without realizing i'm doing it. I have to make a completely conscious effort in the way that i think, and i think about how i should be thinking. ohh, its all very complex. and i just realized that all that i have typed must be some type of error. My biggest wish is that my life was stagnant, who wishes that? i want to know where everyone belongs, and i want some people to be above others? is that so horrible, i want some people to be more important to me than others, i really do. right now everyone is kind of floating on the same plane, and i dont like it.
sometimes, i wonder who my friends are, and what the fuck i am doing brushing some of them off, for others, that can sometimes be not so nice.
i find it irrefutably strange that the later i'm staying up, the less tired during the day i am. Its all about the hydration.
Its like living with everything scattered around randomly is really getting to me. NOTHING has a place, well, except for my shoes. But seriously, you know how you have little niches for every personal possession in your life? mine seem to be transplanted all over the world. I am lost in my own thoughts. On that same note, it seems like no one in my life has a set position, as much as i'd like to think they do, and where ever i place someone, it always feels like they dont belong there. and i have many people that i admire and love, but they are all located at different ever-changing spots in my life, and its aggravating. Where's the rock. the pillar, if you will. clearly it was never moulded in my mind to begin with. which makes me wonder, can you teach yourself something you werent taught when you were young, and i mean really teach yourself to do it. I find whenever I try to manipulate the way i was raised, i can never do it without realizing i'm doing it. I have to make a completely conscious effort in the way that i think, and i think about how i should be thinking. ohh, its all very complex. and i just realized that all that i have typed must be some type of error. My biggest wish is that my life was stagnant, who wishes that? i want to know where everyone belongs, and i want some people to be above others? is that so horrible, i want some people to be more important to me than others, i really do. right now everyone is kind of floating on the same plane, and i dont like it.