Power can be such a tease, you're always wanting more.
Whatever it was that I was going through a couple of weeks ago seems to have been a good catalyst for setting in motion some positive lifestyle changes.
The weather is changing -- a lot sooner than any of us expected it too -- and I haven't the slightest problem with that. I've had countless shallow conversations about my preference for winter fashion and I've definitely enjoyed sporting some rather excellent v-neck sweaters as of late, but it's really all the other aspects of winter that make me partial to it.
For some reason my life always seems to change for the better when the temperature starts to drop. It seems to bring about changes that aren't really set in motion by much of anything; things just kind of work out for the better while you're standing there in your scarf. I've filled my life with my mathematical endeavors for now and accidentally had quite a bit of fun along the way.
I've definitely accepted my role as the spectator -- the observer -- more and more this year. I'm a lot better at recounting than I am at participating and I think my accounts are worth more than my actual blood, sweat and tears.
Don't take this as me surrendering my insanity, because I've got first-hand, resume-worthy experience that most people only read about. I've gotten myself into situations and lived to tell about them only to wonder how/why/what kept me going. This isn't your standard emotional turmoil either.
Mexican prison, for example.
Truth be told, I'm a lot better at telling the story than I am at willingly participating in it. I'm mostly just awkward and nervous and absolutely terrified of heights. I function extremely well under pressure until shit really hits the fan -- which it always does. I'm not sure if I should be moving away from that or embracing it.
I'm not sure if I should be moving away or embracing you. I've always got some fantasy girl on my mind and instead of going for her i settle for hookups and randoms and wonder about her all the while.
I guess some of my favorite moments are the ones where I realize how flawed my life is. And before you dwell on that too much, it really has nothing to do with repairing anything.
It's just refreshing to know that I'm not perfect. It's refreshing to know that I don't need to maintain any state of perfection or even aspire for it.
I realized after a lot of dwelling that your flaws were some of my favorite things about you. You and all of the stupid little mistakes that made you so beautiful.
And that's why I welcome winter and all of the things winter brings. Seeing your breath is about as much proof as you need to know you're still breathing and feeling that shiver is about as much proof as you need to know that your bed is too big for just you.
Always
Kyle
The weather is changing -- a lot sooner than any of us expected it too -- and I haven't the slightest problem with that. I've had countless shallow conversations about my preference for winter fashion and I've definitely enjoyed sporting some rather excellent v-neck sweaters as of late, but it's really all the other aspects of winter that make me partial to it.
For some reason my life always seems to change for the better when the temperature starts to drop. It seems to bring about changes that aren't really set in motion by much of anything; things just kind of work out for the better while you're standing there in your scarf. I've filled my life with my mathematical endeavors for now and accidentally had quite a bit of fun along the way.
I've definitely accepted my role as the spectator -- the observer -- more and more this year. I'm a lot better at recounting than I am at participating and I think my accounts are worth more than my actual blood, sweat and tears.
Don't take this as me surrendering my insanity, because I've got first-hand, resume-worthy experience that most people only read about. I've gotten myself into situations and lived to tell about them only to wonder how/why/what kept me going. This isn't your standard emotional turmoil either.
Mexican prison, for example.
Truth be told, I'm a lot better at telling the story than I am at willingly participating in it. I'm mostly just awkward and nervous and absolutely terrified of heights. I function extremely well under pressure until shit really hits the fan -- which it always does. I'm not sure if I should be moving away from that or embracing it.
I'm not sure if I should be moving away or embracing you. I've always got some fantasy girl on my mind and instead of going for her i settle for hookups and randoms and wonder about her all the while.
I guess some of my favorite moments are the ones where I realize how flawed my life is. And before you dwell on that too much, it really has nothing to do with repairing anything.
It's just refreshing to know that I'm not perfect. It's refreshing to know that I don't need to maintain any state of perfection or even aspire for it.
I realized after a lot of dwelling that your flaws were some of my favorite things about you. You and all of the stupid little mistakes that made you so beautiful.
And that's why I welcome winter and all of the things winter brings. Seeing your breath is about as much proof as you need to know you're still breathing and feeling that shiver is about as much proof as you need to know that your bed is too big for just you.
Always
Kyle