CAPSLOCK CAPSLOCK CAPSLOCK
HOLY FUCKING SHIT SON PULL UP A CHAIR BECAUSE I AM ABOUT TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE MOST ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY AMAZING THINGS EVER AND IT IS GOING TO BE LIKE I POURED A BUCKET OF TOTAL FUCKING AWESOMENESS OVER YOUR HEAD AND THEN SET OFF FIREWORKS THAT SHOWERED YOU IN RAINBOW SPRINKLES.
THEY'RE CALLED 'THE PARADISE OF DEATH' AND 'THE GHOSTS OF N-SPACE,' AND THEY'RE AUDIOS BY BARRY LETTS FEATURING THREE AND SARAH JANE. BUT THEY'RE ALSO WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF SOME CLASSIC DOCTOR WHO EPISODES AND THE CRAZIEST CRACKFICS YOU CAN IMAGINE STOLE A BUNCH OF ABSINTHE AND PEYOTE AND THEN HAD AN ORGY IN A FIELD OF KICKASS STORYTELLING TROPES AND THEN NINE MONTHS LATER:
ALL THIS FUCKING INSANE BADASS HILARIOUS AWESOMENESS ALL UP IN HERE.
WHY ARE THESE THINGS THE MOST GLORIOUS FANTASTIC AND GENERALLY FUCKING MAGNIFICANT THINGS EVER?
I COULD MENTION THE FACT THAT THREE KEEPS GETTING NAKED. OR THE VILLAIN WHO IS SO CAMP GAY THAT HE COULD MAKE JOHN WATERS HANG UP HIS HAT. OR THE OTHER VILLAIN, WHO IS THE CREEPIEST FUCKING SADIST I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED IN DOCTOR WHO, AND THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING. I COULD MENTION THE BRIG'S HUMOROUS ITALIAN UNCLE AND OR THE SUDDEN INCLUSION OF RIDICULOUS NEW CHARACTER JEREMY "I'M EVEN MORE USELESS THAN HARRY SULLIVAN IS GOING TO BE!" FITZOLIVER.. OR ALL THE INNUENDO THEY BLATANTLY MARCH PAST THE CENSORS, INCLUDING SARAH JANE BEING MISTAKEN FOR THE DOCTOR'S CATAMITE. OR I COULD BRING UP SARAH BEING RESOLUTE AND FIERCE AND AWESOME AS EVER, AND YET NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY HER EDITOR WON'T PRINT STORIES ABOUT DALEKS. ALSO, A HOOKER FROM NEW JERSEY GETS POSSESSED BY A DEMON AND TRIES TO BLOW UP HER IMMORTAL MAFIA BOYFRIEND.
BUT EVEN WITHOUT THAT, THEY WOULD DESERVE ALL THE GODDAMN CAPSLOCK IN THE WORLD JUST FOR PRODUCING THIS MENTAL IMAGE:
BRIGADIER ALISTAIR GORDON LETHBRIDGE-STEWART.
ON THE BACK OF A GIANT FLYING BAT.
LEADING AN ARMY OF ALIENS.
WHO ARE ALSO ON GIANT, FLYING BATS.
...THERE IS NOT ENOUGH 'FUCK YEAH!' IN THE WORLD FOR THAT.
THEY'RE CALLED 'THE PARADISE OF DEATH' AND 'THE GHOSTS OF N-SPACE,' AND THEY'RE AUDIOS BY BARRY LETTS FEATURING THREE AND SARAH JANE. BUT THEY'RE ALSO WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF SOME CLASSIC DOCTOR WHO EPISODES AND THE CRAZIEST CRACKFICS YOU CAN IMAGINE STOLE A BUNCH OF ABSINTHE AND PEYOTE AND THEN HAD AN ORGY IN A FIELD OF KICKASS STORYTELLING TROPES AND THEN NINE MONTHS LATER:
ALL THIS FUCKING INSANE BADASS HILARIOUS AWESOMENESS ALL UP IN HERE.
WHY ARE THESE THINGS THE MOST GLORIOUS FANTASTIC AND GENERALLY FUCKING MAGNIFICANT THINGS EVER?
I COULD MENTION THE FACT THAT THREE KEEPS GETTING NAKED. OR THE VILLAIN WHO IS SO CAMP GAY THAT HE COULD MAKE JOHN WATERS HANG UP HIS HAT. OR THE OTHER VILLAIN, WHO IS THE CREEPIEST FUCKING SADIST I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED IN DOCTOR WHO, AND THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING. I COULD MENTION THE BRIG'S HUMOROUS ITALIAN UNCLE AND OR THE SUDDEN INCLUSION OF RIDICULOUS NEW CHARACTER JEREMY "I'M EVEN MORE USELESS THAN HARRY SULLIVAN IS GOING TO BE!" FITZOLIVER.. OR ALL THE INNUENDO THEY BLATANTLY MARCH PAST THE CENSORS, INCLUDING SARAH JANE BEING MISTAKEN FOR THE DOCTOR'S CATAMITE. OR I COULD BRING UP SARAH BEING RESOLUTE AND FIERCE AND AWESOME AS EVER, AND YET NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY HER EDITOR WON'T PRINT STORIES ABOUT DALEKS. ALSO, A HOOKER FROM NEW JERSEY GETS POSSESSED BY A DEMON AND TRIES TO BLOW UP HER IMMORTAL MAFIA BOYFRIEND.
BUT EVEN WITHOUT THAT, THEY WOULD DESERVE ALL THE GODDAMN CAPSLOCK IN THE WORLD JUST FOR PRODUCING THIS MENTAL IMAGE:
BRIGADIER ALISTAIR GORDON LETHBRIDGE-STEWART.
ON THE BACK OF A GIANT FLYING BAT.
LEADING AN ARMY OF ALIENS.
WHO ARE ALSO ON GIANT, FLYING BATS.
...THERE IS NOT ENOUGH 'FUCK YEAH!' IN THE WORLD FOR THAT.