office bathroom
Why is it that the bathroom at work is so comfortable? Going to the bathroom never felt so good as it does at work. The toielets are a perfect height. My knees bend at a perfect 90 degree angle and the seat forms perfectly to my ass.
I have trouble relieving myself in most public bathrooms, specially single stall bathrooms like the one at starbucks. I always feel rushed and can never properly take care of buisness because I am constantly in fear that someone is waiting to use the bathroom. I don't want to look someone in the face that is going to use the bathroom directly after I stunk the place up. Even though I may never see them again, I don't want that person to remanice with his friends about the girl who lit up the bathroom with her stinky ass. It is so much easier for me to drop the duce in a public bathroom with several stalls. That way the smell can never be blamed on one person.
A few things bother me about public restrooms, my office bathroom mostly.
-We Have 8 stalls, a row of 5 and then another row of 3 against another wall. When I go into the bathroom and it is completly empty, i usually go for the stall in the far left corner of the bathroom to ensure maximum privacy. I abso-fucking-lutly HATE when someone comes into the bathroom after me and uses the stall right next to mine and starts taking a dump, what the hell? there are 7 other stalls, why did you have to be right next to me? do you want me to hold your hand too? fuck you, at least leave a stall between us so we can both have a little alone time.
-Please don't practice your keegal excersizes in the public bathroom!!!! it is so weird when suzie from accounting walks into a stall as i am washing my hands and all i hear is *piiiiiiiiss* *piss* *piiiiiiiis* *piiiis*. Maybe you have a UTI and it burns to pee, but PLEASE if you do not have a UTI or other bladder problem, please pee normally. I don't want to imagine you doing your keegal exciersizes because your vag is so loose. im sorry your husband doesn't want any of your ham sandwich, but serisouly, this bothers me.
-don't just pretend to wash your hands. JUST FUCKING WASH THEM! the amount of time you spend pretending to wash your hands could have been used to actually wash them. at work I am kinds paranoid about germs because i see so many woman not even bothering to wash there hands, then there are the ones who fake it. Usually younger girls who walk to the sink and stand there with there hands running under cold water without using any soap. that bugs me..why even bother pretending?
-People who brush there teeth in public bathrooms. I understand you like having perfect white teeth and must brush after everymeal, but can your refrain from sounding like a dead reindeer? you know, that cough/gurggle thing that people do to get the phlem out of their throats. it's grose! not only that, you are spitting in the sink that i might be washig my hands in. and also, I HATE to see other people brush their teeth! go away ocd teeth brushers!
-Now, tot he topic on courtousy flushing. When you have been sitting on the toilet and even your own smell is starting to make you gag, it's time to flush! i don't care if you are done or not, but this is an oppertunity for you to start fresh! so please, if your plan on droppin'the duece, do use all a favor and do a courtousy flush, you will thank me in the long run...
P.S. I wrote most of this while sitting in the bathroom at work.
I have trouble relieving myself in most public bathrooms, specially single stall bathrooms like the one at starbucks. I always feel rushed and can never properly take care of buisness because I am constantly in fear that someone is waiting to use the bathroom. I don't want to look someone in the face that is going to use the bathroom directly after I stunk the place up. Even though I may never see them again, I don't want that person to remanice with his friends about the girl who lit up the bathroom with her stinky ass. It is so much easier for me to drop the duce in a public bathroom with several stalls. That way the smell can never be blamed on one person.
A few things bother me about public restrooms, my office bathroom mostly.
-We Have 8 stalls, a row of 5 and then another row of 3 against another wall. When I go into the bathroom and it is completly empty, i usually go for the stall in the far left corner of the bathroom to ensure maximum privacy. I abso-fucking-lutly HATE when someone comes into the bathroom after me and uses the stall right next to mine and starts taking a dump, what the hell? there are 7 other stalls, why did you have to be right next to me? do you want me to hold your hand too? fuck you, at least leave a stall between us so we can both have a little alone time.
-Please don't practice your keegal excersizes in the public bathroom!!!! it is so weird when suzie from accounting walks into a stall as i am washing my hands and all i hear is *piiiiiiiiss* *piss* *piiiiiiiis* *piiiis*. Maybe you have a UTI and it burns to pee, but PLEASE if you do not have a UTI or other bladder problem, please pee normally. I don't want to imagine you doing your keegal exciersizes because your vag is so loose. im sorry your husband doesn't want any of your ham sandwich, but serisouly, this bothers me.
-don't just pretend to wash your hands. JUST FUCKING WASH THEM! the amount of time you spend pretending to wash your hands could have been used to actually wash them. at work I am kinds paranoid about germs because i see so many woman not even bothering to wash there hands, then there are the ones who fake it. Usually younger girls who walk to the sink and stand there with there hands running under cold water without using any soap. that bugs me..why even bother pretending?
-People who brush there teeth in public bathrooms. I understand you like having perfect white teeth and must brush after everymeal, but can your refrain from sounding like a dead reindeer? you know, that cough/gurggle thing that people do to get the phlem out of their throats. it's grose! not only that, you are spitting in the sink that i might be washig my hands in. and also, I HATE to see other people brush their teeth! go away ocd teeth brushers!
-Now, tot he topic on courtousy flushing. When you have been sitting on the toilet and even your own smell is starting to make you gag, it's time to flush! i don't care if you are done or not, but this is an oppertunity for you to start fresh! so please, if your plan on droppin'the duece, do use all a favor and do a courtousy flush, you will thank me in the long run...
P.S. I wrote most of this while sitting in the bathroom at work.