time in a bottle 8 "stages of grief: anger"
Title: Time in a Bottle
Chapter: 8. "Stages of Grief: Anger"
Author: pengyn
Rating: Teen
Spoilers: Through to "The End"
Summary: James returns to the real world, trying to deal with his grief and still hold on to his memories of Juliet. Meanwhile, thirty years earlier, a series of sabotages in Dharmaville leads him to suspect the one person he doesn't want to believe could have done it.
A/N: Please don't kill me. Originally I was thinking that there would be more fluff but then I realized that this chapter needed to come first.
previous: prologue one two three four five six seven
8. Stages of Grief: Anger
30 years later...
“I see you checked in under ‘Sawyer’. What, no maid service?” Miles says, clearing a pile of newspapers off a chair and scattering them to the floor. He shrugs, it’s not like the place could get any worse.
“Fired ‘em,” Sawyer grunts, “weren’t workin’ up to code anyway.”
“Your shower broken too?”
“What d’you want, Miles?” he sighs, cracking open two warm beers and passing one over.
Miles takes the bottle but there’s no toasting. Sawyer sits in the other chair - his feet propped up on the bed. He downs half of his own bottle.
“Since when did you start calling me ‘Miles’?” Sawyer doesn’t respond and Miles lets out a breath. “What’re you doing here, Jim? Sleeping in motels, drinking the State dry... this isn’t you.”
“You don’t know jack about me, Genghis, so take your sorry pity speech to someone who needs it. I don’t.”
“Oh, I don’t know jack, huh? Like I didn’t just spend the last three years living eight houses down, like we didn’t barbeque every other weekend or play cards on Wednesday nights? Like you didn’t carry my sorry ass home the night my mother gave birth and I thought it would be a good idea to get wasted and sing Papa was a Rollin’ Stone? Like I don’t realize you just lost the woman you spent those three years building a life with?”
Sawyer looks up at him. He doesn’t say anything but his eyes are dark and angry.
“And what would she say, Jim, huh?” Miles continued. “If she could see you now, miserable and wasted, living in your own filth, what would she say? What would Juliet say? She’d kick your ass first is what Juliet would do.”
Sawyer was out of his seat, picking Miles up and pinning him to the wall, fists gripping his shirt. “Don’t you say her name!” he screams in Miles’ face. “Don’t you say her name you son of a bitch!”
“Or what, you’ll hit me? C’mon LaFleur, hit me!”
Sawyer does. He swings a punch and misses, spinning ‘round on himself. He grabs the chair and throws it. “Son of a bitch!” he yells. The chair packs more force than his punch and crashes through the window next to the front door. His arms are stretched against the wall and he’s trying to breathe but there’s this fucking pain in his chest and he can’t see because his eyes are stinging and he would give anything - any goddamn fucking thing - to have just one more moment with her. He’s pissed. He’s pissed that the one good thing the world ever gave him, the world decided to take away because he didn’t deserve it forever. He just needs her to be here, because he’ doesn’t remember what it’s like not having anyone to get his back.
Miles is next to him - pretending he doesn’t see his friend’s running nose, or the tears hitting the cheap brown carpet below. Instead, he looks out at the parking lot - at the bits of broken chair and glass. “You’re gonna have to pay for that y’know?” he says, after about a minute.
Sawyer makes a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob.
“C’mon,” Miles tells him, steering him towards the bathroom. Somehow he gets his friend into the tub and turns on the water, leaving him there to sober up. He figures he’ll go see the manager and pay for the window. He wasn’t the one who broke it of course - but he has just scored $8 million and he’s feeling charitable.
Sawyer sits in the tub shaking because of the cold, the booze, his grief - he doesn’t know. He presses his fingers to the small scar on his shoulder - and it feels like yesterday that he was almost shot and Juliet fixed him. Juliet was always fixing him and now, now she’d never fix him again.
Chapter: 8. "Stages of Grief: Anger"
Author: pengyn
Rating: Teen
Spoilers: Through to "The End"
Summary: James returns to the real world, trying to deal with his grief and still hold on to his memories of Juliet. Meanwhile, thirty years earlier, a series of sabotages in Dharmaville leads him to suspect the one person he doesn't want to believe could have done it.
A/N: Please don't kill me. Originally I was thinking that there would be more fluff but then I realized that this chapter needed to come first.
previous: prologue one two three four five six seven
8. Stages of Grief: Anger
30 years later...
“I see you checked in under ‘Sawyer’. What, no maid service?” Miles says, clearing a pile of newspapers off a chair and scattering them to the floor. He shrugs, it’s not like the place could get any worse.
“Fired ‘em,” Sawyer grunts, “weren’t workin’ up to code anyway.”
“Your shower broken too?”
“What d’you want, Miles?” he sighs, cracking open two warm beers and passing one over.
Miles takes the bottle but there’s no toasting. Sawyer sits in the other chair - his feet propped up on the bed. He downs half of his own bottle.
“Since when did you start calling me ‘Miles’?” Sawyer doesn’t respond and Miles lets out a breath. “What’re you doing here, Jim? Sleeping in motels, drinking the State dry... this isn’t you.”
“You don’t know jack about me, Genghis, so take your sorry pity speech to someone who needs it. I don’t.”
“Oh, I don’t know jack, huh? Like I didn’t just spend the last three years living eight houses down, like we didn’t barbeque every other weekend or play cards on Wednesday nights? Like you didn’t carry my sorry ass home the night my mother gave birth and I thought it would be a good idea to get wasted and sing Papa was a Rollin’ Stone? Like I don’t realize you just lost the woman you spent those three years building a life with?”
Sawyer looks up at him. He doesn’t say anything but his eyes are dark and angry.
“And what would she say, Jim, huh?” Miles continued. “If she could see you now, miserable and wasted, living in your own filth, what would she say? What would Juliet say? She’d kick your ass first is what Juliet would do.”
Sawyer was out of his seat, picking Miles up and pinning him to the wall, fists gripping his shirt. “Don’t you say her name!” he screams in Miles’ face. “Don’t you say her name you son of a bitch!”
“Or what, you’ll hit me? C’mon LaFleur, hit me!”
Sawyer does. He swings a punch and misses, spinning ‘round on himself. He grabs the chair and throws it. “Son of a bitch!” he yells. The chair packs more force than his punch and crashes through the window next to the front door. His arms are stretched against the wall and he’s trying to breathe but there’s this fucking pain in his chest and he can’t see because his eyes are stinging and he would give anything - any goddamn fucking thing - to have just one more moment with her. He’s pissed. He’s pissed that the one good thing the world ever gave him, the world decided to take away because he didn’t deserve it forever. He just needs her to be here, because he’ doesn’t remember what it’s like not having anyone to get his back.
Miles is next to him - pretending he doesn’t see his friend’s running nose, or the tears hitting the cheap brown carpet below. Instead, he looks out at the parking lot - at the bits of broken chair and glass. “You’re gonna have to pay for that y’know?” he says, after about a minute.
Sawyer makes a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob.
“C’mon,” Miles tells him, steering him towards the bathroom. Somehow he gets his friend into the tub and turns on the water, leaving him there to sober up. He figures he’ll go see the manager and pay for the window. He wasn’t the one who broke it of course - but he has just scored $8 million and he’s feeling charitable.
Sawyer sits in the tub shaking because of the cold, the booze, his grief - he doesn’t know. He presses his fingers to the small scar on his shoulder - and it feels like yesterday that he was almost shot and Juliet fixed him. Juliet was always fixing him and now, now she’d never fix him again.