Houses

[days_unfolding]

I'm dubbing the Urbana house as the "pretty good house". It's nice and I see why I liked it when I rented it, but it's not magical like my mom's house. I made a list of pros and cons for each house.

Urbana House
Pros:
I can keep my therapist. This is a big one because I had a hard time finding a therapist who's simpatico.
It's in Urbana, which I

Comments

[sweetmeow]

From a dispassionate onlooker, I can see how difficult this decision is! If I was to boil the issue down to one phrase, it's the decision between head and heart. Your heart wants your mom's house. But your logical brain knows there are advantages to the Ubana house.

Home is where the heart is - old tired quotation... 😜🙃

Would your heart remain strong for your mom's house once you begin to deal with the expense and hassle of all the clean-out, moving again, upgrades, and required maintenance? It sounds like your mom's house will always need lots of maintenance. I'm sure finances factor into this decision, too, like these maintenance expenses. And if you did lots of it yourself, are you prepared for the work it would entail?

Would you question your decision when you realize nothing is within walking distance and you must find another therapist? However, you can probably find another good therapist, and nice people are in every community for you to meet. It is a nice perk to live in a university town, though. I also gather your mom's community is more rural. Another question: Do you prefer living in a rural or urban area? Rural can be so appealing until you actually live there and feel isolated. But cities can feel claustrophobic!

If you decide on the Urbana house, think about how you'd feel when your mom's house is sold - and gone for you? Would the Urbana house represent that you're moving on?

BTW - I loved the pictures of your mom's house. It's a quirky, unique home! Nothing "cookie-cutter" about it!!!

I hope you don't mind all the questions, but I often do the same thing - make a pro/con list to help me decide what to do, then write it all out. Sometimes life is "damned if you do/damned if you don't, though! LOL!

[days_unfolding]

Good questions. My mom's house is in a city (the Detroit suburbs). It has more amenities than the Urbana house, but not within walking distance and more traffic.

[days_unfolding]

I'm going to have to do all the clean out and delayed maintenance anyway to sell the house. If I keep the house I'd be doing it for me though. But there's the ongoing maintenance of the lawn, gardens, and house, which would be considerable.

It would be gut-wrenching to have my mom's house gone to me. I don't think that I realized how much I love it until now.

[sweetmeow]

I recognized this as I was reading, but I didn't want to state it to put ideas into your mind that might not be there. You must see it for yourself and realize the strength of your attraction to your mom's house. I saw it -- from the very beginning!

My mom died in 2013, and my childhood home -- where Mom lived until the last 6 months when she was in a nursing facility -- has been sold. It's kind of surreal and a little sad when that happens, but the sadness of seeing it go didn't give me any desire to purchase it. It wasn't worth *that* much to me. I had made new, stronger connections with the house(s) and communities I live in now. (And my husband did NOT want it!)

However, I did want the home to "live on" where another family made memories in that house, just like we did a generation ago. But - that was not to be. My mom's house (and the house behind our house) was purchased by the Funeral Home owners who live next door to the house. Right now, both houses are rented to families, but the funeral home is biding its time for when they can change the zoning, enabling them to build a larger parking lot for their funeral home. When that happens, the houses will be knocked to the ground, and a parking lot built. Sad.

So - even if you don't want the house for yourself, strong feelings are left behind.