you open your heart to a complete stranger

[dayoldjapan]

i can say to you:

i am unusual.
sometimes i look normal.
...but i am not like other people.
i try... it takes too much effort.

life has sucked me down more
moving here attacked my creativity
i want it back
inspiration is needed.
inspiration is harder to come by
when its difficult to find a place to be by yourself with the world
and i don't want to shut off the world around me.

i am a believer that people are stuck right now.
i feel as i get stuck too...
in complacency... of the superficial being enough.
emotions are easy to play with when you have none
thats why everyone in LA wants to be an actor

if you want to maybe know more about me...
i'm 23... i'm confident and i'm told to be slightly intimidating
i am not your average hot or even your stereotypical artist hot.
i don't like even being called hot.
why am i even using the word hot?
(awe my dog is having a bad dream)...

i am pretty and sometimes, i look very classic.
other days i don't want to wear make up.

moving to california is one of the hardest things i've done.
i am not saying it was a bad idea.
but i should put my trust in myself in what i can do
over my trust in others.
no matter how close you can be with someone
you can not trust them to follow through with their words.

words.
why do people like to promise?
just to break it.
i have heard: i give you my word.
and you have proved
your word means nothing.
i would say worse... but no need.

but you open your heart to a complete stranger
new eyes and ears hoping to sympathize.
you give your words in hoping they mean something
not next to nothing...
yet, you know them next to nothing.
how does it work?
the sense we make of things...