Dearly Beloved (chapter 5)
Previously:
[ Character Pictures]
[Prologue]
[I. So Much For The Wedding Night]
[II. The Act Of Preparing]
[III. The Spaces In Between]
[IV. The Taste Of Something New]
Now:
Chapter Five: Splitting The Seams
*** *** ***
Surprised? I was.
Out of all the people to come bursting through the door that night, I would have never expected it to be her. Maybe a part of me--a strong gut feeling--believed that she would show her face there. Somewhere, inside me in the deepest pits of my heart, I felt that something was not right about this whole situation.
Yoochun and Yunho always avoided questions regarding the kidnapping. Now I was going to get my answers.
I looked to Junsu’s confused face, then to the nervous (and angry) expression of Yoochun, and finally I caught the blank looks in both Ji Hye and Yunho’s faces. What the hell was going on? I felt Yunho squeeze my hand and then the warmth was gone entirely. Fear gripped me, twisted my insides into a tight coil, and all I could do was wait for someone to break the silence. Must be some kind of twin telepathy or something because Ji Hye was the one to break the ice.
“Jae, what are you doing here?”
I furrowed my brows. “What am I-- Ji Hye, what the hell are you doing here?!”
She winced at the tone of my voice. I do not think I have ever snapped at her in my life, but with this new twist, I found myself growing tense. I was about to break. She did not answer my question, though, instead she turned her attention to Yunho.
“Yunho, why is my brother here?” Ji Hye asked, trying to find the answers from someone who would tell her.
I saw Yoochun mouth ‘brother’ to himself out of the corner of my eye. I forgot that I had lied and said that I had no relation to the Hans. But to me, the only one out of the loop (other than Junsu but he had never officially been involved), that matter was insignificant.
“Jae, let’s go out while these three talk,” Junsu suggested, tugging on my sleeve and trying to pull me away from the situation.
I ripped my hand out of his grasp, now glaring at Yunho, as I hissed, “What the hell is going on, Yunho. Answer me damn it!”
He looked at me, his eyes shining with something I could not quite identify, and I think that was answer enough.
I should have paid more attention to the little things. The pajamas that I had to sleep in… they were not his sister’s, but rather my own. It explained the confusion in Yoochun’s eyes when Yunho brought them out, mumbling something about them being his sister’s old pair. If Yoochun was the best friend (that I assumed he was) then he would have known Yunho had a sister, the fact that he did not… The smell of raspberries in the house. Ji Hye telling me about the nice man she had met, the weird people that she saw, once when had slipped away to a city outside of Seoul… The man that she was in love with, that took her virginity, that loved her back…
Yunho might have not had a sister… but he did have someone else’s. He had mine…
I stumbled away, shaking my head softly, mumbling ‘no’ under my breath. Ji Hye stared at me oddly, but now… Now I did not bother to care what she was thinking. Their voices seemed so distant, but I did hear Yunho ask Ji Hye to come with him, the faint click of a door closing, and Junsu calling my name frantically.
“Chunnie!” Junsu cried for Yoochun as he clutched onto me, trying to keep me from falling over in my dizzy state.
“I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to go home,” the words were mumbled, my hands fisting in the soft material of my four-eyed friend’s shirt, the tears flowing down my face and onto him. “I want to go home, Su-su. Just take me away from here. Please, I want to go home.”
“Take him to the car, Junsu,” Yoochun ordered, his gaze narrowed on the door that my sister and the love of my life were behind. Junsu did not move, his gaze on his irritated lover. “Now, damn it!”
I slipped from Junsu’s grasp slightly, my friend startled from his daze by the angry voice of Yoochun. We stumbled to the door, out into the cold night, and I found myself slumped in the backseat of Yunho’s car (Yoochun’s own car parked further away from the building), my head in Junsu’s lap. He ran his fingers through my hair softly, chanting over and over again that everything was going to be okay, but it did not help.
The car was too cramped, too stuffy, and too many memories of Yunho were bubbling up and I could not suppress the hacking sobs that tore at my tired limbs. My heart throbbed, stomach knotted too tightly to be unwound, my head pounding away. I was hurting… so much that I felt as if I was dying. I remember thinking that if this pain did not kill me, I would end up killing myself.
In the end, I really am… Sitting here, talking to you, spilling out my thoughts, trying my best to weave back together the events that I thought were erased… Nothing left of those haunting memories of seeing my sister come back into my life after disappearing, and with a snap of her fingers, she stole the one thing (the only thing) that I ever wanted.
Damn it! This fucking hurts!
I wanted to throw up in the car, Junsu’s tears plummeting onto my own watery cheeks, his hand grasping Yoochun’s around the seat, Yoochun murmuring to us but not really saying anything in the end.
“I want…”
“Shh, we know. Home. Just a little bit longer,” Yoochun’s soft voice found its way into my ears, trying to calm me down but failing miserably.
I wanted to tell him that he was going the wrong way. To turn around. To go back to the tiny little apartment that I had spent the best days of my life in. To the place that my heart was residing at. They say “home is where the heart is” and I guess it is true enough… But I wish that my fucking heart was not crumpled up in Yunho’s fist, the beating just a gentle hum that was soon to extinguish.
Shortly after Yoochun made this statement, we were located in front of the large manor that had housed me for twenty years. I tumbled out, the dinner I had earlier and bile decorating the sidewalk I fell down on, but I did not care enough to mind. I broke away from Junsu’s helping hand, struggling to get up on my own, and slowly made my way inside the large estate with Junsu and Yoochun calling after me.
I locked the front door behind me, not wanting them to be around me at the moment. They reminded me too much of what I did not have anymore. The one thing I never had. I heard them pound on the wood, yell out my name, and my best friend’s pleading cries, but I chose to ignore them. I had another thing to do while I was still angry enough to do it.
My mother came running down the stairs, her harried body a bit too pale for my liking, gasping at the bottom as her gaze locked with my own. She made the few steps towards me, her hands on my red cheeks, tracing every outline of my face.
“Jaejoong, you’re home,” she whispered, more to herself than me, as if she was trying to decide if I was really there or not.
I pulled away from her slowly, placing a quick kiss to her temple so as to prove I was real and as an apology for leaving her. “I need to see father. Where is he?”
“In the study, why--” For the second time that week I had left my mother for another man.
I strode into the room that I had been in previously, when they had discussed the wedding situation, and I found my father in the exact same position. I slammed the door shut, rattling the walls and causing countless numbers of books to fall off the shelves. The old bastard looked up, seemingly unfazed by my sudden intrusion as well as the mess I made.
“Took you long enough to get home, Jaejoong,” he stated, eyes back on the papers he was reading and I watched him with cold eyes as he signed his name to the document.
I laughed, humorlessly, and said, “Home? This is what I call ‘hell’ not ‘home,’ dad.”
I saw the pen in his hand twitch, and I suppose I had struck a nerve. But then again, I did not give a damn. “Then why did you come back?”
“You were right.” His eyes met mine, clear confusion was written in them. I smiled like he did when he just swindled himself out of a lawsuit. “No one in this world should be trusted. I guess I was a little too naïve to think that someone in this goddamned world would pay attention to your whiny bastard of a son.”
“Jaejoong…”
I held up a hand to stop him from speaking, just like he always did to me.
“No, dad, I don’t want to hear any of the bullshit that you are about to tell me. Let me talk this time.” He made no move to open his mouth again, so I began to say everything that had been building up the past twenty years. “Remember when you would not let me attend your social events when Ji Hye and I turned five? It was my fucking birthday, too, but I was not even able to go to party that Ji Hye received. Or the year that I met Junsu and wanted you to meet him. I remember telling me that you had no time to deal with trash. Weren’t those your exact words?”
I let my last statements to hang in the air before I continued again, gauging his reactions every time I uttered the horrible things he did as a father.
“Did you know that while your back was turned that your precious princess was slipping between the sheets with another man? That she was not the innocent, mindless doll that you thought she was… I guess I do not need to point fingers though. Here recently the same man was fucking me, too.” I shrugged not even sparing a glance at my father as I began speaking again, this time less harsh and with a softer tone.
“I… fell in love with him, trusted him so much, but I guess I should have listened to you. After all, you were spot on about everything else. I am worthless, useless, a smartass, a crybaby, and… I just wished you were wrong this one time.” My voice cracked a little at the end, the memories of just a few hours ago creeping upon me.
I felt myself being pulled against another body, my face buried in his shoulder. I clutched onto the lapels of his jacket, struggling to keep my eyes from leaking the tears that were threatening to fall. I would have hated to soil his suit with my unworthy tears after all.
“Jae,” he whispered against the top of my head as he rocked me back and forth in the first embrace we have ever shared. “I am so sorry, son. Please, Jae, believe that. I know it is hard, but, damn, you were never like your sister--you were smart, arrogant, determined, and never listened to me. Ji Hye always followed everything I ever said, but you were so different. I was--and always will be--proud of you, Jaejoong. I know that it will be difficult for you to ever forgive me, but I want to start over with you. I never knew how to deal with you, my free spirited and brave little boy. You were all over the place when you were little, climbing onto high shelves, tripping the maids with your clever plans, and talking back to me then just as much as you do now.”
I smiled a bit against the folds of his jacket, bringing my arms up to wrap around his waist, and mumbled, “I hate your stupid carpet.”
He chuckled in my hair, the first time I have ever heard him laughing so freely, as he murmured, “You were the one that told me to buy it.” I pulled away slightly to look at him, my face one of sheer incredulity which caused his smile to grow and laughter to increase. “Do you not remember? I think that you were four at the time your mother and I decided to redecorate. I asked you what my office should look like. You picked out everything in here--including this stupid carpet, but I will never remove it, no matter how ugly it is.”
“It is ugly…”
I heard the faint click of something in the background, but I brushed it off as one of the maids busying about in the halls next door. Maybe I should have paid more attention. If I had maybe what happened next would have never occurred.
A loud bang settled over the room, my father’s body slumping against me. I felt the warm liquid sliding against my neck from his lips, my father’s blood coating my skin with a deep vermillion tint. I looked at the man that had shot him, he had somehow snuck in there without us noticing or maybe he had been there the whole time, waiting for the opportune moment to shoot.
I recognized him as what should have been Ji Hye’s future husband… Choi Siwon.
“What a touching reunion between father and son,” he mocked, twirling the gun in his hands. “It was far too sweet, too bad I had to get rid of him.”
I glared at the man out of the corner of my eyes as I rested my now dead father on the ground gently. He just smirked wider when he noticed my intense gaze, making his way to me with a malicious tint in his eyes. He stepped over my father and bent down so that he was eye-level with me, tilting my chin up with his thumb and forefinger.
“You are just as beautiful as your sister. I will not do you any harm if you agree to be mine.”
I slapped his hand away and tried to flee from the room, but he caught my arm and shoved me against the back wall, the one farthest from the exit. I felt my heartbeat quicken, his lips on my neck, near the pulse, and his hands undoing the belt of my jeans.
“This won’t hurt unless you make it so,” he said in a sing-song voice against me collarbone, his long fingers already dipping down in the waistband of my pants, tracing the skin that rested underneath.
I tried to free myself from his grasp, biting down on his lips until they bled when he tried to kiss me. I was not going to let anything happen without a fight, and unfortunately, he had alternative motives if I was unwilling. He hit the back of my head with the gun that was still clutched in his right hand, causing my knees to buckle and my body fall to the ground.
My vision was foggy, my consciousness slowly slipping away, but I do recall someone shouting “Get away from him”--my mind playing tricks on me and making it sound like Yunho, but he was not there, he was probably fucking my sister in the bad that he had me in--and that person shove Siwon off of me. A struggle to my left, sirens blaring outside, someone holding my hand, another person resting my head in their lap, and the one holding my hand whispering, “Please don’t leave me,” and then…
…Everything went black…
I woke up sometime later--maybe four or so days--in the hospital, with Junsu at my bedside sound asleep. Yoochun stood near the window, a cup of coffee in his hands as he watching the busy streets of Seoul below. I struggled to sit up, my ears ringing and head throbbing, and woke up my best friend.
“Jae, you’re awake!” he spoke happily, and loudly, nearly busting my eardrums and causing Yoochun to turn toward us.
“Idiot-su! Do not yell so loud. He just woke up,” Yoochun scolded, whacking Junsu on the back of his head with a rolled up magazine.
I laughed softly to myself at the scene. One would have not believed that those two were very much together and in love. Junsu pouted, causing Yoochun to smile and place a quick peck on them, before he turned to me and asked me if I needed anything. I sobered up from my humor quickly after that question, replying that I wanted to know what happened that night… the parts I could not remember.
Yoochun reluctantly explained that they had almost not made it in time. I suffered from a severe concussion due to the gun smashing against my skull, and that at one point I was in very critical condition. They told me that Yunho was the one that had broken down the doors and gotten them inside, he was the one who had shoved Siwon away, and was the one that saved me. But I shook my head and told them that I did not want to hear his name again, still very hurt because of what happened and angry at myself for not seeing it from the beginning.
Ji Hye does not talk to me anymore, avoiding me completely and usually locking herself in her room. I do the same with her, since nothing is like how it used to be before the kidnapping, and our previous bond broken due to her running away. My mother barely eats, depressed at the loss of her husband, and I sometimes sit with her outside on the terrace where she would tell me more stories of when I was little, and that my father had loved me very much even though he did not show it. Junsu moved in with Yoochun, those two stopping by all the time to keep me company, but usually end up locked inside the guest bedroom making erotic noises all throughout the west wing.
I have not seen Yunho since that night.
This is all I remember. That is everything. Everything that I did not want to recall, the little things that you refused to let me forget. I am tired now. Can you please leave?
I beg of you. Leave me alone. I do not want to dwell on this any longer. I just want to forget. I want to forget everything.
I want to forget Yunho… but I cannot.
I love him…
*** *** ***
I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter. It is not over, however, but the story will be no longer in Jae's POV. Next chapter it will be in someone else's perspective (a person that was not really involved). The last chapter is, yet again, in another person's pov. ^^ Makes it more interesting, but I will nto reveal who else will tell what happened after Jae finished his story.
Oh, and... I really was not going to use Siwon as the husband at first. Honestly, it was going to be some unknown guy in the beginning. Before writing that scene, though, I was watching the Timeless music video (with Su in it!!!!!!) and I got Siwon stuck in my head. I had to give him a very brief cameo! ^^
[ Character Pictures]
[Prologue]
[I. So Much For The Wedding Night]
[II. The Act Of Preparing]
[III. The Spaces In Between]
[IV. The Taste Of Something New]
Now:
Chapter Five: Splitting The Seams
*** *** ***
Surprised? I was.
Out of all the people to come bursting through the door that night, I would have never expected it to be her. Maybe a part of me--a strong gut feeling--believed that she would show her face there. Somewhere, inside me in the deepest pits of my heart, I felt that something was not right about this whole situation.
Yoochun and Yunho always avoided questions regarding the kidnapping. Now I was going to get my answers.
I looked to Junsu’s confused face, then to the nervous (and angry) expression of Yoochun, and finally I caught the blank looks in both Ji Hye and Yunho’s faces. What the hell was going on? I felt Yunho squeeze my hand and then the warmth was gone entirely. Fear gripped me, twisted my insides into a tight coil, and all I could do was wait for someone to break the silence. Must be some kind of twin telepathy or something because Ji Hye was the one to break the ice.
“Jae, what are you doing here?”
I furrowed my brows. “What am I-- Ji Hye, what the hell are you doing here?!”
She winced at the tone of my voice. I do not think I have ever snapped at her in my life, but with this new twist, I found myself growing tense. I was about to break. She did not answer my question, though, instead she turned her attention to Yunho.
“Yunho, why is my brother here?” Ji Hye asked, trying to find the answers from someone who would tell her.
I saw Yoochun mouth ‘brother’ to himself out of the corner of my eye. I forgot that I had lied and said that I had no relation to the Hans. But to me, the only one out of the loop (other than Junsu but he had never officially been involved), that matter was insignificant.
“Jae, let’s go out while these three talk,” Junsu suggested, tugging on my sleeve and trying to pull me away from the situation.
I ripped my hand out of his grasp, now glaring at Yunho, as I hissed, “What the hell is going on, Yunho. Answer me damn it!”
He looked at me, his eyes shining with something I could not quite identify, and I think that was answer enough.
I should have paid more attention to the little things. The pajamas that I had to sleep in… they were not his sister’s, but rather my own. It explained the confusion in Yoochun’s eyes when Yunho brought them out, mumbling something about them being his sister’s old pair. If Yoochun was the best friend (that I assumed he was) then he would have known Yunho had a sister, the fact that he did not… The smell of raspberries in the house. Ji Hye telling me about the nice man she had met, the weird people that she saw, once when had slipped away to a city outside of Seoul… The man that she was in love with, that took her virginity, that loved her back…
Yunho might have not had a sister… but he did have someone else’s. He had mine…
I stumbled away, shaking my head softly, mumbling ‘no’ under my breath. Ji Hye stared at me oddly, but now… Now I did not bother to care what she was thinking. Their voices seemed so distant, but I did hear Yunho ask Ji Hye to come with him, the faint click of a door closing, and Junsu calling my name frantically.
“Chunnie!” Junsu cried for Yoochun as he clutched onto me, trying to keep me from falling over in my dizzy state.
“I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to go home,” the words were mumbled, my hands fisting in the soft material of my four-eyed friend’s shirt, the tears flowing down my face and onto him. “I want to go home, Su-su. Just take me away from here. Please, I want to go home.”
“Take him to the car, Junsu,” Yoochun ordered, his gaze narrowed on the door that my sister and the love of my life were behind. Junsu did not move, his gaze on his irritated lover. “Now, damn it!”
I slipped from Junsu’s grasp slightly, my friend startled from his daze by the angry voice of Yoochun. We stumbled to the door, out into the cold night, and I found myself slumped in the backseat of Yunho’s car (Yoochun’s own car parked further away from the building), my head in Junsu’s lap. He ran his fingers through my hair softly, chanting over and over again that everything was going to be okay, but it did not help.
The car was too cramped, too stuffy, and too many memories of Yunho were bubbling up and I could not suppress the hacking sobs that tore at my tired limbs. My heart throbbed, stomach knotted too tightly to be unwound, my head pounding away. I was hurting… so much that I felt as if I was dying. I remember thinking that if this pain did not kill me, I would end up killing myself.
In the end, I really am… Sitting here, talking to you, spilling out my thoughts, trying my best to weave back together the events that I thought were erased… Nothing left of those haunting memories of seeing my sister come back into my life after disappearing, and with a snap of her fingers, she stole the one thing (the only thing) that I ever wanted.
Damn it! This fucking hurts!
I wanted to throw up in the car, Junsu’s tears plummeting onto my own watery cheeks, his hand grasping Yoochun’s around the seat, Yoochun murmuring to us but not really saying anything in the end.
“I want…”
“Shh, we know. Home. Just a little bit longer,” Yoochun’s soft voice found its way into my ears, trying to calm me down but failing miserably.
I wanted to tell him that he was going the wrong way. To turn around. To go back to the tiny little apartment that I had spent the best days of my life in. To the place that my heart was residing at. They say “home is where the heart is” and I guess it is true enough… But I wish that my fucking heart was not crumpled up in Yunho’s fist, the beating just a gentle hum that was soon to extinguish.
Shortly after Yoochun made this statement, we were located in front of the large manor that had housed me for twenty years. I tumbled out, the dinner I had earlier and bile decorating the sidewalk I fell down on, but I did not care enough to mind. I broke away from Junsu’s helping hand, struggling to get up on my own, and slowly made my way inside the large estate with Junsu and Yoochun calling after me.
I locked the front door behind me, not wanting them to be around me at the moment. They reminded me too much of what I did not have anymore. The one thing I never had. I heard them pound on the wood, yell out my name, and my best friend’s pleading cries, but I chose to ignore them. I had another thing to do while I was still angry enough to do it.
My mother came running down the stairs, her harried body a bit too pale for my liking, gasping at the bottom as her gaze locked with my own. She made the few steps towards me, her hands on my red cheeks, tracing every outline of my face.
“Jaejoong, you’re home,” she whispered, more to herself than me, as if she was trying to decide if I was really there or not.
I pulled away from her slowly, placing a quick kiss to her temple so as to prove I was real and as an apology for leaving her. “I need to see father. Where is he?”
“In the study, why--” For the second time that week I had left my mother for another man.
I strode into the room that I had been in previously, when they had discussed the wedding situation, and I found my father in the exact same position. I slammed the door shut, rattling the walls and causing countless numbers of books to fall off the shelves. The old bastard looked up, seemingly unfazed by my sudden intrusion as well as the mess I made.
“Took you long enough to get home, Jaejoong,” he stated, eyes back on the papers he was reading and I watched him with cold eyes as he signed his name to the document.
I laughed, humorlessly, and said, “Home? This is what I call ‘hell’ not ‘home,’ dad.”
I saw the pen in his hand twitch, and I suppose I had struck a nerve. But then again, I did not give a damn. “Then why did you come back?”
“You were right.” His eyes met mine, clear confusion was written in them. I smiled like he did when he just swindled himself out of a lawsuit. “No one in this world should be trusted. I guess I was a little too naïve to think that someone in this goddamned world would pay attention to your whiny bastard of a son.”
“Jaejoong…”
I held up a hand to stop him from speaking, just like he always did to me.
“No, dad, I don’t want to hear any of the bullshit that you are about to tell me. Let me talk this time.” He made no move to open his mouth again, so I began to say everything that had been building up the past twenty years. “Remember when you would not let me attend your social events when Ji Hye and I turned five? It was my fucking birthday, too, but I was not even able to go to party that Ji Hye received. Or the year that I met Junsu and wanted you to meet him. I remember telling me that you had no time to deal with trash. Weren’t those your exact words?”
I let my last statements to hang in the air before I continued again, gauging his reactions every time I uttered the horrible things he did as a father.
“Did you know that while your back was turned that your precious princess was slipping between the sheets with another man? That she was not the innocent, mindless doll that you thought she was… I guess I do not need to point fingers though. Here recently the same man was fucking me, too.” I shrugged not even sparing a glance at my father as I began speaking again, this time less harsh and with a softer tone.
“I… fell in love with him, trusted him so much, but I guess I should have listened to you. After all, you were spot on about everything else. I am worthless, useless, a smartass, a crybaby, and… I just wished you were wrong this one time.” My voice cracked a little at the end, the memories of just a few hours ago creeping upon me.
I felt myself being pulled against another body, my face buried in his shoulder. I clutched onto the lapels of his jacket, struggling to keep my eyes from leaking the tears that were threatening to fall. I would have hated to soil his suit with my unworthy tears after all.
“Jae,” he whispered against the top of my head as he rocked me back and forth in the first embrace we have ever shared. “I am so sorry, son. Please, Jae, believe that. I know it is hard, but, damn, you were never like your sister--you were smart, arrogant, determined, and never listened to me. Ji Hye always followed everything I ever said, but you were so different. I was--and always will be--proud of you, Jaejoong. I know that it will be difficult for you to ever forgive me, but I want to start over with you. I never knew how to deal with you, my free spirited and brave little boy. You were all over the place when you were little, climbing onto high shelves, tripping the maids with your clever plans, and talking back to me then just as much as you do now.”
I smiled a bit against the folds of his jacket, bringing my arms up to wrap around his waist, and mumbled, “I hate your stupid carpet.”
He chuckled in my hair, the first time I have ever heard him laughing so freely, as he murmured, “You were the one that told me to buy it.” I pulled away slightly to look at him, my face one of sheer incredulity which caused his smile to grow and laughter to increase. “Do you not remember? I think that you were four at the time your mother and I decided to redecorate. I asked you what my office should look like. You picked out everything in here--including this stupid carpet, but I will never remove it, no matter how ugly it is.”
“It is ugly…”
I heard the faint click of something in the background, but I brushed it off as one of the maids busying about in the halls next door. Maybe I should have paid more attention. If I had maybe what happened next would have never occurred.
A loud bang settled over the room, my father’s body slumping against me. I felt the warm liquid sliding against my neck from his lips, my father’s blood coating my skin with a deep vermillion tint. I looked at the man that had shot him, he had somehow snuck in there without us noticing or maybe he had been there the whole time, waiting for the opportune moment to shoot.
I recognized him as what should have been Ji Hye’s future husband… Choi Siwon.
“What a touching reunion between father and son,” he mocked, twirling the gun in his hands. “It was far too sweet, too bad I had to get rid of him.”
I glared at the man out of the corner of my eyes as I rested my now dead father on the ground gently. He just smirked wider when he noticed my intense gaze, making his way to me with a malicious tint in his eyes. He stepped over my father and bent down so that he was eye-level with me, tilting my chin up with his thumb and forefinger.
“You are just as beautiful as your sister. I will not do you any harm if you agree to be mine.”
I slapped his hand away and tried to flee from the room, but he caught my arm and shoved me against the back wall, the one farthest from the exit. I felt my heartbeat quicken, his lips on my neck, near the pulse, and his hands undoing the belt of my jeans.
“This won’t hurt unless you make it so,” he said in a sing-song voice against me collarbone, his long fingers already dipping down in the waistband of my pants, tracing the skin that rested underneath.
I tried to free myself from his grasp, biting down on his lips until they bled when he tried to kiss me. I was not going to let anything happen without a fight, and unfortunately, he had alternative motives if I was unwilling. He hit the back of my head with the gun that was still clutched in his right hand, causing my knees to buckle and my body fall to the ground.
My vision was foggy, my consciousness slowly slipping away, but I do recall someone shouting “Get away from him”--my mind playing tricks on me and making it sound like Yunho, but he was not there, he was probably fucking my sister in the bad that he had me in--and that person shove Siwon off of me. A struggle to my left, sirens blaring outside, someone holding my hand, another person resting my head in their lap, and the one holding my hand whispering, “Please don’t leave me,” and then…
…Everything went black…
I woke up sometime later--maybe four or so days--in the hospital, with Junsu at my bedside sound asleep. Yoochun stood near the window, a cup of coffee in his hands as he watching the busy streets of Seoul below. I struggled to sit up, my ears ringing and head throbbing, and woke up my best friend.
“Jae, you’re awake!” he spoke happily, and loudly, nearly busting my eardrums and causing Yoochun to turn toward us.
“Idiot-su! Do not yell so loud. He just woke up,” Yoochun scolded, whacking Junsu on the back of his head with a rolled up magazine.
I laughed softly to myself at the scene. One would have not believed that those two were very much together and in love. Junsu pouted, causing Yoochun to smile and place a quick peck on them, before he turned to me and asked me if I needed anything. I sobered up from my humor quickly after that question, replying that I wanted to know what happened that night… the parts I could not remember.
Yoochun reluctantly explained that they had almost not made it in time. I suffered from a severe concussion due to the gun smashing against my skull, and that at one point I was in very critical condition. They told me that Yunho was the one that had broken down the doors and gotten them inside, he was the one who had shoved Siwon away, and was the one that saved me. But I shook my head and told them that I did not want to hear his name again, still very hurt because of what happened and angry at myself for not seeing it from the beginning.
Ji Hye does not talk to me anymore, avoiding me completely and usually locking herself in her room. I do the same with her, since nothing is like how it used to be before the kidnapping, and our previous bond broken due to her running away. My mother barely eats, depressed at the loss of her husband, and I sometimes sit with her outside on the terrace where she would tell me more stories of when I was little, and that my father had loved me very much even though he did not show it. Junsu moved in with Yoochun, those two stopping by all the time to keep me company, but usually end up locked inside the guest bedroom making erotic noises all throughout the west wing.
I have not seen Yunho since that night.
This is all I remember. That is everything. Everything that I did not want to recall, the little things that you refused to let me forget. I am tired now. Can you please leave?
I beg of you. Leave me alone. I do not want to dwell on this any longer. I just want to forget. I want to forget everything.
I want to forget Yunho… but I cannot.
I love him…
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I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter. It is not over, however, but the story will be no longer in Jae's POV. Next chapter it will be in someone else's perspective (a person that was not really involved). The last chapter is, yet again, in another person's pov. ^^ Makes it more interesting, but I will nto reveal who else will tell what happened after Jae finished his story.
Oh, and... I really was not going to use Siwon as the husband at first. Honestly, it was going to be some unknown guy in the beginning. Before writing that scene, though, I was watching the Timeless music video (with Su in it!!!!!!) and I got Siwon stuck in my head. I had to give him a very brief cameo! ^^