Self Reinvention...
A big chunk of what I've decided to do as pseudo-New Years Resolutions came late, and are about reinventing who I am and how I regard myself. I am striving for Better levels of:
Maturity
Organization
Health
First off, as a blend between maturity and organization(hence purple! I know my colors, yay!), I know I whine about my clothes alot. I have a bag to donate in the closet in the family room, and I wear only about 25% of what is in my dresser or my closet at one time, in part because we don't have seasons in Carolina, so I need to be prepared for it to be 75 degrees one day and 35 degrees the next, hence why only my winter clothes ever get packed away for a season. That's a bit beyond what I'm trying to say. I need to get rid of more items and be honest with myself about what I intend to wear and have a purpose for WHY I believe I should keep these items. I know this much. While I can't really afford new clothes, I can get rid of some of the clothes that are just wrong for my body and my goals to keep me from ever wearing them and holding myself back. I can also get up the nerve to start looking for resale stores to find an occasional piece at. I can't tell you what a life saver the Salvy was for me (and my budget) in HS and College.
I focus so much on my clothing because I see it as a tangible way that I can change the way I think about myself and in turn the way I act (dress for the job you want, etc). You all know this.
Additionally, I am trying to be conscious of the things that I do unconsciously... for instance, when I say "Good Morning!" it is far higher pitched than anything else I consistently say to anyone. I am trying to sound less "bright and brassy" and more like a confident, self-assured, normal voiced individual. I have constantly struggled with breaking my "hair twisting" habit, so I doubt I will make significant progress in that situation, but I am at least more aware of the fact that I am doing this. Or getting bouncy. Bounciness is part of my personality that I enjoy-- it's a physical expression of what I am feeling, but the fact of the matter is, it has to stop if I want to be taken seriously professionally. I can still be bouncy at home and with my friends, but not with my collegues. Also, my switch from "getting negative easily" to "getting angry easily" is a bit of a trade off. In order to seem more like the mature adult I should be in my 24th year, I am trying to stop expressing my anger to people around me and start expressing it more here, even if it is unjustified, stupid anger. Being forced to admit my stupid angry moments (like my "I'm Queen of the Files, don't put your junk in my office" moment yesterday) to my friends makes me realize how petty my anger really is... which is why I can laugh about it when I say things like I'm the Duchess of the Dossiers! I've got to turn it around.
I am also paying more attention to my word choices. I have automatic words such as "like" that I use as a filler, or "great/awesome" when I am expressing enthuiasm for whatever I've just been told. I need less "teenage" words.
As for organization, that is a little bit trickier. I brought home a few books from the library. I know that I have systems in my house that don't work for me, and I need to change them. Cupboards with little structure and almost no drawers (I heart drawers!). A filing system that leaves me unmotivated, and stuffing papers into a "to be filed" folder with no reason to get to filing the contents of that folder. A kitchen table that serves as a catch-all and keeps us eating meals around the coffee table. The organization stuff is trickier because it almost certainly means purchasing dividers for my cupboards, a sofatable for the entryway by the coat closet to serve as a drop location for my purse, keys, mail, etc., a new filing cabinet, crates, or organizational impliments for the desk, dividers for the drawers of my dresser, etc.
Health-wise, Kevin and I are being each other's workout buddies, so he holds me accountable to my goals, and as he has very specific goals of his own, we're working together towards better fitness. He's lost about 10 pounds in 3 weeks doing his 3 days areobic, 3 days toning excercises, and counting his calories. I've never really had to work at losing weight before-- don't take that the wrong way, it's not a "brag" thing. I've just always had a metabolism that could keep up with me and a fairly active lifestyle until recently. Because of that, I'm learning alot from my football-wrestling-powerlifting hubby, and it's nice. I try to work out 3-4 days a week, and I have been trying to increase the resistance on the elliptical by 1 level a week, and try to keep my RPM (hehe) at 60-70, consistently.
Since Kevin has dietary motivations for himself, it's easier than me trying to push my ideas onto him-- we've cut out all but 1 soda a week each, and that will stop when we run out of cans of coke in the pantry. We evaluate the meals each of us suggest as dinner options based on vitamin, fat, protein, and calorie amounts. I am proud to say that a little loaf-pan of cake has only dimished by about 1/4 since it's birth on Saturday, and I will likely have to toss it before it gets consumed (I made it for a party that we were going to go to, but, they already had a cake, so it didn't get taken).
I am sick of peope being critical about my need for a healthier lifestyle, assuming that I have a poor self image. Not true. I think I'm hot: I just want to be healthy and hot. Think of my weight gain as proportion, and you'll understand why I am concerned about my health: I was active and not eating excessively, I weighed between 100 and 105. After our cruise, I weighed 120. A 15 pound gain is a 14% increase in weight for a woman who weighed 105. But when it really comes down to it, my decision to get on the elliptical, do weight training and pay attention to not overeating or snacking on junk, is not about my "weight." Weight is just an expression of my progress or lack of progress. I just want to gain muscle weight and the ability to walk up the two flights of stairs to my office quickly without getting winded.
Anyway, I have a long way to go on all of these areas, which is why they merit being my goals for the year. Stupid lunch is over. Back to work!
~DJ~
Maturity
Organization
Health
First off, as a blend between maturity and organization(hence purple! I know my colors, yay!), I know I whine about my clothes alot. I have a bag to donate in the closet in the family room, and I wear only about 25% of what is in my dresser or my closet at one time, in part because we don't have seasons in Carolina, so I need to be prepared for it to be 75 degrees one day and 35 degrees the next, hence why only my winter clothes ever get packed away for a season. That's a bit beyond what I'm trying to say. I need to get rid of more items and be honest with myself about what I intend to wear and have a purpose for WHY I believe I should keep these items. I know this much. While I can't really afford new clothes, I can get rid of some of the clothes that are just wrong for my body and my goals to keep me from ever wearing them and holding myself back. I can also get up the nerve to start looking for resale stores to find an occasional piece at. I can't tell you what a life saver the Salvy was for me (and my budget) in HS and College.
I focus so much on my clothing because I see it as a tangible way that I can change the way I think about myself and in turn the way I act (dress for the job you want, etc). You all know this.
Additionally, I am trying to be conscious of the things that I do unconsciously... for instance, when I say "Good Morning!" it is far higher pitched than anything else I consistently say to anyone. I am trying to sound less "bright and brassy" and more like a confident, self-assured, normal voiced individual. I have constantly struggled with breaking my "hair twisting" habit, so I doubt I will make significant progress in that situation, but I am at least more aware of the fact that I am doing this. Or getting bouncy. Bounciness is part of my personality that I enjoy-- it's a physical expression of what I am feeling, but the fact of the matter is, it has to stop if I want to be taken seriously professionally. I can still be bouncy at home and with my friends, but not with my collegues. Also, my switch from "getting negative easily" to "getting angry easily" is a bit of a trade off. In order to seem more like the mature adult I should be in my 24th year, I am trying to stop expressing my anger to people around me and start expressing it more here, even if it is unjustified, stupid anger. Being forced to admit my stupid angry moments (like my "I'm Queen of the Files, don't put your junk in my office" moment yesterday) to my friends makes me realize how petty my anger really is... which is why I can laugh about it when I say things like I'm the Duchess of the Dossiers! I've got to turn it around.
I am also paying more attention to my word choices. I have automatic words such as "like" that I use as a filler, or "great/awesome" when I am expressing enthuiasm for whatever I've just been told. I need less "teenage" words.
As for organization, that is a little bit trickier. I brought home a few books from the library. I know that I have systems in my house that don't work for me, and I need to change them. Cupboards with little structure and almost no drawers (I heart drawers!). A filing system that leaves me unmotivated, and stuffing papers into a "to be filed" folder with no reason to get to filing the contents of that folder. A kitchen table that serves as a catch-all and keeps us eating meals around the coffee table. The organization stuff is trickier because it almost certainly means purchasing dividers for my cupboards, a sofatable for the entryway by the coat closet to serve as a drop location for my purse, keys, mail, etc., a new filing cabinet, crates, or organizational impliments for the desk, dividers for the drawers of my dresser, etc.
Health-wise, Kevin and I are being each other's workout buddies, so he holds me accountable to my goals, and as he has very specific goals of his own, we're working together towards better fitness. He's lost about 10 pounds in 3 weeks doing his 3 days areobic, 3 days toning excercises, and counting his calories. I've never really had to work at losing weight before-- don't take that the wrong way, it's not a "brag" thing. I've just always had a metabolism that could keep up with me and a fairly active lifestyle until recently. Because of that, I'm learning alot from my football-wrestling-powerlifting hubby, and it's nice. I try to work out 3-4 days a week, and I have been trying to increase the resistance on the elliptical by 1 level a week, and try to keep my RPM (hehe) at 60-70, consistently.
Since Kevin has dietary motivations for himself, it's easier than me trying to push my ideas onto him-- we've cut out all but 1 soda a week each, and that will stop when we run out of cans of coke in the pantry. We evaluate the meals each of us suggest as dinner options based on vitamin, fat, protein, and calorie amounts. I am proud to say that a little loaf-pan of cake has only dimished by about 1/4 since it's birth on Saturday, and I will likely have to toss it before it gets consumed (I made it for a party that we were going to go to, but, they already had a cake, so it didn't get taken).
I am sick of peope being critical about my need for a healthier lifestyle, assuming that I have a poor self image. Not true. I think I'm hot: I just want to be healthy and hot. Think of my weight gain as proportion, and you'll understand why I am concerned about my health: I was active and not eating excessively, I weighed between 100 and 105. After our cruise, I weighed 120. A 15 pound gain is a 14% increase in weight for a woman who weighed 105. But when it really comes down to it, my decision to get on the elliptical, do weight training and pay attention to not overeating or snacking on junk, is not about my "weight." Weight is just an expression of my progress or lack of progress. I just want to gain muscle weight and the ability to walk up the two flights of stairs to my office quickly without getting winded.
Anyway, I have a long way to go on all of these areas, which is why they merit being my goals for the year. Stupid lunch is over. Back to work!
~DJ~