Today Your Love
Title: Today Your Love
Author: twilight_rush
Summary: His boyfriend doesn't understand he doesn't want him anymore.
Rated: PG-13
Warning: Bi fiction, crazy boyfriends
Disclaimer: Title take from The Ramones. These words are my own.
Javed loves the Ramones.
He really does, and in particular, the song Beat On the Brat. It amuses him so he has it as his cellphone’s ringtone.
But every time he hears it, like right now, he growls and throws his phone at the wall, like right now. He doesn’t care if his phone breaks or if his mother will wonder why there’s a slight dent in his wall that keeps getting bigger.
He looks up from his pillow and it’s still ringing. He doesn’t bother to see who it is because he already knows. It’s the same person who’s been calling him for the past few weeks.
“Leave me alone, Keegan!” he shouts at the phone, even though he knows he won’t hear him. Even if he did he still wouldn’t leave him alone.
His ex-boyfriend can’t seem to understand that he doesn’t want him anymore.
~
The next day Javed is walking up the steps to his school and he sees Keegan, standing amongst the cluster of trees glaring at him. Javed glares right back, tugging on his backpack and hurrying his movements.
He used to love Keegan. Now he hates him.
Keegan use to be this sweet shy guy with the warm hugs and the brightest smile Javed’s ever seen. Now it’s so black and dirtied it’s made Javed vomit several times once.
Sometimes Javed feels sad. Though he isn’t sure if he’s sad because of what they lost, what happened, or because Keegan can’t quite move on like Javed’s done.
Either way, Keegan needs to get over it. Javed looks over to see if Keegan’s still there, but he wandered off a long time ago.
~
Javed met Merit around the time he was still with Keegan. She was an exchange student from Sweden and they were good friends for a bit. Keegan always thought she was a little floozy. Javed just thought she was a little awkward but fun.
She was there for him after the incident with Keegan. Then one day he went out and kissed her.
He’s been going with her since and apparently Keegan despises it.
Well, he can just suck it, says Javed to that.
He has Merit over at his house while his mother is at work. Merit’s hugging him and he would’ve gladly continued to kiss her if he hadn’t heard small footsteps coming up behind him.
He groans while Merit laughs at the sight of his little sister, air mused up and eyes bleary.
“Pari! Go back to bed.”
“I can’t,” she fusses. “I keep hearing noises outside.”
“It’s the wind,” he sighs, getting up and tugging her towards her room. She pulls and yanks her arm out of his hand.
“Nu uh! Because I looked out my window and saw some, like, hobo walking around in the backyard.”
He stares at her stupidly, tilting his head. “A hobo?”
Pari scratches her head, shaking it. “Mm, no. He kind of looked like, um - Kenan!”
He can feel his teeth breaking from the way he’s gritting them. She means Keegan. Keegan is out there again.
He orders Pari off to her room and tells Merit to stay where she is while he checks outside.
“You don’t want me to go with you?” she asks and Javed waves her down once more.
“I’ll be back,” he says, before he ventures out to his backyard. He silently slides the patio doors close behind him, and yet it reaches Keegan’s ears and he looks sharply up at him.
Javed feels his stomach turning itself. He scowls disdainfully. “If I actually thought the police could so something I’d so call them,” he spits at him and all Keegan does is just grunts.
Javed remembers how Keegan used to look so beautiful, and even though he looks a straight-up mess now he can still see some of it peeking through.
“You really need to stop,” Javed says, trying to sound so authorized and tough. He’s a dwarf compared to Keegan. “You’re passed being stupid. You’re ridiculous.”
He doesn’t flinch when Keegan stumbles toward him, breath hitting him full in the face. Javed feels only a tiny bit afraid of him.
Keegan tells him he loves him, still wants him. Javed says he needs to get over him.
“It’s not okay anymore,” and just as he says that he hears the doors sliding open.
“Javed?” Merit touches his shoulder, stepping beside him. “I’m getting worried -“
Sooner than Javed can yell at her to go back inside, she’s already seen Keegan, and Keegan’s already flung himself at her. His hands are clasped tightly around her neck. He can very well break it and he wants to. Merit struggles to scream, tries to claw at his face, and Keegan merely bares his teeth at her.
Javed jumps on Keegan’s back, attempting to stop him from killing Merit.
“Let her go!” he screeches. Keegan ignores him as Merit’s face turns a nice blue and purple. He grasps tighter. Javed punches his head till he sees little red spots on his knuckles.
“G-d, I hate you! I hated you then and I still do now!”
He yelps when Keegan abruptly stands up, making Javed hit the ground. Javed stares worryingly at Merit’s unconscious body before reverting back to Keegan. He still has his back to him.
The boy finally totters around. Javed holds down the sadness and the sickness rising in him.
It’s been a while since he’s seen Keegan genuinely sad.
While it kind of tears at him Javed still manages to sputter out, “Just leave me alone. I don’t want to see you again.”
Keegan’s shoulders slumps and he looks confused - about what is he doing here, why he is doing this. He opens his mouth to say something only to turn away and leave.
Javed watches as he slips away, and once he’s gone he checks up on Merit. She’s okay, but he’s going to have to come up with a brilliant story about how all this was a dream from a horror movie they just watched.
~
His life is generally quiet. Has been for about three days.
It’s rather depressing.
Keegan’s stopped stalking him. Javed hasn’t seen or heard him since that one night. He thinks he should be happy. He knows he should be. But there’s a nagging in his head and chest that won’t stop pestering him. He needs to see Keegan, talk to him one last time.
Then maybe everything will feel all right.
He sneaks out when once it’s dark and his mom and Pari are asleep. He gets into the car and he thinks he knows where Keegan is. It’s the only place someone like him would be.
He drives until he sees Spring Cemetery, and notices the gate is half open. Keegan’s in there.
Keegan use to drag Javed and this fancy camera here. Keegan would take pictures of various headstones until the owner would catch on and kick them out. Javed never really understood why Keegan had an obsession with cemeteries and death. It was something about “the beauty of it” or some crap he said.
He parks outside the entrance and walks up the trail, using the moon to light his way. He hasn’t step in here since the thing with Keegan, and the reunion makes the spit in his mouth turn vile. He’s never been afraid of cemeteries; however he can’t help the tension startling inside him.
He walks the long path of graves till he sees Keegan, sitting next to a short headstone with a savagely dug grave.
Keegan doesn’t acknowledge him.
“Keegan?” Javed utters, sounding whiny. He sees Keegan’s mouth twitch.
“Come on, Keegan.” Javed steps closer and gets on his knees to Keegan’s height. He’s tempted to grab his hand. He holds back.
“You shouldn’t have hurt Merit,” he scolds. “Now she doesn’t want to be anywhere near me. She didn’t believe me when I said it was all a dream.” He sees Keegan grinning, holding back a snort before Javed begins talking again.
“I meant it when I said we can’t do this anymore.” He hears Keegan mutter, “I know.”
They stay silent for a tad. The wind howls around them and makes the stench of dirt and something bitter more profound. Javed relaxes to the point he feels fine laying his head on Keegan’s shoulder. It’s soft instead of hard muscle like it used to be.
“I didn’t mean it when I said I hated you,” Javed confesses. “I just hated the way you acted.” Keegan’s chin falls on his head and Javed smiles.
It feels like the old times.
He lifts his head so his nose touches Keegan’s cheek. “I love you but you have to stop.”
When Keegan turns to him Javed expects him to spit at him and yell, No, I won’t . . . but Keegan kisses him and lets go only when their mouths are sore and bright red.
Javed hugs him. Keegan mumbles he’s sorry, he’s loves him, and he understands.
Keegan lets him go and settles himself into his grave and goes back into his casket - where he should’ve been a long time ago.
Javed stares down at the casket, before looking at the headstone with Keegan’s name on it.
Just about two months ago Javed fought with Keegan and broke up with him. Two months ago Keegan died in a car accident. Only a month ago Keegan came back and began harassing Javed.
Only now is he resting. It’s for the best really. While the thought of having his boyfriend back again pleases him, Javed couldn’t possibly have a living dead guy for a boyfriend who likes to eat people and can barely walk straight.
His mother wouldn’t approve of it.
Javed gets up, ready to go, when he glances down and notices something gleaming at him.
“Aw, come on.” Javed retches as he picks up the lone eyeball. “. . . This is disgusting.”
He gets back on his knees and calls out, “Keegan?” Has he already crossed over?
He bends over some more, debating whether to just drop the eye in there and let it be. “Keegan?”
The casket squeaks open, slowly, a wrath of sourness hitting Javed’s nostrils. He moans and holds out Keegan’s eyeball.
“It must’ve fell out -“ Javed gasps when a bony hand lurches out. He screams when Keegan drags him into the casket with him and shuts it tight.
The only thing heard throughout the night was the muffled sound of a casket door banging, a boy screaming and something wet splattering.
~
Kennedy holds her flowers up to her chest as she rushes to her brother’s grave. She peers behind her and sees her parents are dragging behind. She can’t wait for them. She wants to see Keegan and do a proper goodbye that doesn’t involve her crying till her brain implodes.
As she nears Keegan’s grave she sees dirt lying around and a large hole with a rancid smell emitting from it. She slows down, suddenly afraid to go on, but wills herself to.
She holds the flowers tighter, peers over the edge.
She falls back with a scream. “Mama! Daddy!”
She runs to her parents, flowers abandoned on the ground.
Kennedy runs away from the scene of a happy-looking Keegan, holding a bloodied and very much dead Javed.
Keegan use to tell Javed that they would be together forever. That it was a promise.
He never breaks promises.
Author: twilight_rush
Summary: His boyfriend doesn't understand he doesn't want him anymore.
Rated: PG-13
Warning: Bi fiction, crazy boyfriends
Disclaimer: Title take from The Ramones. These words are my own.
Javed loves the Ramones.
He really does, and in particular, the song Beat On the Brat. It amuses him so he has it as his cellphone’s ringtone.
But every time he hears it, like right now, he growls and throws his phone at the wall, like right now. He doesn’t care if his phone breaks or if his mother will wonder why there’s a slight dent in his wall that keeps getting bigger.
He looks up from his pillow and it’s still ringing. He doesn’t bother to see who it is because he already knows. It’s the same person who’s been calling him for the past few weeks.
“Leave me alone, Keegan!” he shouts at the phone, even though he knows he won’t hear him. Even if he did he still wouldn’t leave him alone.
His ex-boyfriend can’t seem to understand that he doesn’t want him anymore.
~
The next day Javed is walking up the steps to his school and he sees Keegan, standing amongst the cluster of trees glaring at him. Javed glares right back, tugging on his backpack and hurrying his movements.
He used to love Keegan. Now he hates him.
Keegan use to be this sweet shy guy with the warm hugs and the brightest smile Javed’s ever seen. Now it’s so black and dirtied it’s made Javed vomit several times once.
Sometimes Javed feels sad. Though he isn’t sure if he’s sad because of what they lost, what happened, or because Keegan can’t quite move on like Javed’s done.
Either way, Keegan needs to get over it. Javed looks over to see if Keegan’s still there, but he wandered off a long time ago.
~
Javed met Merit around the time he was still with Keegan. She was an exchange student from Sweden and they were good friends for a bit. Keegan always thought she was a little floozy. Javed just thought she was a little awkward but fun.
She was there for him after the incident with Keegan. Then one day he went out and kissed her.
He’s been going with her since and apparently Keegan despises it.
Well, he can just suck it, says Javed to that.
He has Merit over at his house while his mother is at work. Merit’s hugging him and he would’ve gladly continued to kiss her if he hadn’t heard small footsteps coming up behind him.
He groans while Merit laughs at the sight of his little sister, air mused up and eyes bleary.
“Pari! Go back to bed.”
“I can’t,” she fusses. “I keep hearing noises outside.”
“It’s the wind,” he sighs, getting up and tugging her towards her room. She pulls and yanks her arm out of his hand.
“Nu uh! Because I looked out my window and saw some, like, hobo walking around in the backyard.”
He stares at her stupidly, tilting his head. “A hobo?”
Pari scratches her head, shaking it. “Mm, no. He kind of looked like, um - Kenan!”
He can feel his teeth breaking from the way he’s gritting them. She means Keegan. Keegan is out there again.
He orders Pari off to her room and tells Merit to stay where she is while he checks outside.
“You don’t want me to go with you?” she asks and Javed waves her down once more.
“I’ll be back,” he says, before he ventures out to his backyard. He silently slides the patio doors close behind him, and yet it reaches Keegan’s ears and he looks sharply up at him.
Javed feels his stomach turning itself. He scowls disdainfully. “If I actually thought the police could so something I’d so call them,” he spits at him and all Keegan does is just grunts.
Javed remembers how Keegan used to look so beautiful, and even though he looks a straight-up mess now he can still see some of it peeking through.
“You really need to stop,” Javed says, trying to sound so authorized and tough. He’s a dwarf compared to Keegan. “You’re passed being stupid. You’re ridiculous.”
He doesn’t flinch when Keegan stumbles toward him, breath hitting him full in the face. Javed feels only a tiny bit afraid of him.
Keegan tells him he loves him, still wants him. Javed says he needs to get over him.
“It’s not okay anymore,” and just as he says that he hears the doors sliding open.
“Javed?” Merit touches his shoulder, stepping beside him. “I’m getting worried -“
Sooner than Javed can yell at her to go back inside, she’s already seen Keegan, and Keegan’s already flung himself at her. His hands are clasped tightly around her neck. He can very well break it and he wants to. Merit struggles to scream, tries to claw at his face, and Keegan merely bares his teeth at her.
Javed jumps on Keegan’s back, attempting to stop him from killing Merit.
“Let her go!” he screeches. Keegan ignores him as Merit’s face turns a nice blue and purple. He grasps tighter. Javed punches his head till he sees little red spots on his knuckles.
“G-d, I hate you! I hated you then and I still do now!”
He yelps when Keegan abruptly stands up, making Javed hit the ground. Javed stares worryingly at Merit’s unconscious body before reverting back to Keegan. He still has his back to him.
The boy finally totters around. Javed holds down the sadness and the sickness rising in him.
It’s been a while since he’s seen Keegan genuinely sad.
While it kind of tears at him Javed still manages to sputter out, “Just leave me alone. I don’t want to see you again.”
Keegan’s shoulders slumps and he looks confused - about what is he doing here, why he is doing this. He opens his mouth to say something only to turn away and leave.
Javed watches as he slips away, and once he’s gone he checks up on Merit. She’s okay, but he’s going to have to come up with a brilliant story about how all this was a dream from a horror movie they just watched.
~
His life is generally quiet. Has been for about three days.
It’s rather depressing.
Keegan’s stopped stalking him. Javed hasn’t seen or heard him since that one night. He thinks he should be happy. He knows he should be. But there’s a nagging in his head and chest that won’t stop pestering him. He needs to see Keegan, talk to him one last time.
Then maybe everything will feel all right.
He sneaks out when once it’s dark and his mom and Pari are asleep. He gets into the car and he thinks he knows where Keegan is. It’s the only place someone like him would be.
He drives until he sees Spring Cemetery, and notices the gate is half open. Keegan’s in there.
Keegan use to drag Javed and this fancy camera here. Keegan would take pictures of various headstones until the owner would catch on and kick them out. Javed never really understood why Keegan had an obsession with cemeteries and death. It was something about “the beauty of it” or some crap he said.
He parks outside the entrance and walks up the trail, using the moon to light his way. He hasn’t step in here since the thing with Keegan, and the reunion makes the spit in his mouth turn vile. He’s never been afraid of cemeteries; however he can’t help the tension startling inside him.
He walks the long path of graves till he sees Keegan, sitting next to a short headstone with a savagely dug grave.
Keegan doesn’t acknowledge him.
“Keegan?” Javed utters, sounding whiny. He sees Keegan’s mouth twitch.
“Come on, Keegan.” Javed steps closer and gets on his knees to Keegan’s height. He’s tempted to grab his hand. He holds back.
“You shouldn’t have hurt Merit,” he scolds. “Now she doesn’t want to be anywhere near me. She didn’t believe me when I said it was all a dream.” He sees Keegan grinning, holding back a snort before Javed begins talking again.
“I meant it when I said we can’t do this anymore.” He hears Keegan mutter, “I know.”
They stay silent for a tad. The wind howls around them and makes the stench of dirt and something bitter more profound. Javed relaxes to the point he feels fine laying his head on Keegan’s shoulder. It’s soft instead of hard muscle like it used to be.
“I didn’t mean it when I said I hated you,” Javed confesses. “I just hated the way you acted.” Keegan’s chin falls on his head and Javed smiles.
It feels like the old times.
He lifts his head so his nose touches Keegan’s cheek. “I love you but you have to stop.”
When Keegan turns to him Javed expects him to spit at him and yell, No, I won’t . . . but Keegan kisses him and lets go only when their mouths are sore and bright red.
Javed hugs him. Keegan mumbles he’s sorry, he’s loves him, and he understands.
Keegan lets him go and settles himself into his grave and goes back into his casket - where he should’ve been a long time ago.
Javed stares down at the casket, before looking at the headstone with Keegan’s name on it.
Just about two months ago Javed fought with Keegan and broke up with him. Two months ago Keegan died in a car accident. Only a month ago Keegan came back and began harassing Javed.
Only now is he resting. It’s for the best really. While the thought of having his boyfriend back again pleases him, Javed couldn’t possibly have a living dead guy for a boyfriend who likes to eat people and can barely walk straight.
His mother wouldn’t approve of it.
Javed gets up, ready to go, when he glances down and notices something gleaming at him.
“Aw, come on.” Javed retches as he picks up the lone eyeball. “. . . This is disgusting.”
He gets back on his knees and calls out, “Keegan?” Has he already crossed over?
He bends over some more, debating whether to just drop the eye in there and let it be. “Keegan?”
The casket squeaks open, slowly, a wrath of sourness hitting Javed’s nostrils. He moans and holds out Keegan’s eyeball.
“It must’ve fell out -“ Javed gasps when a bony hand lurches out. He screams when Keegan drags him into the casket with him and shuts it tight.
The only thing heard throughout the night was the muffled sound of a casket door banging, a boy screaming and something wet splattering.
~
Kennedy holds her flowers up to her chest as she rushes to her brother’s grave. She peers behind her and sees her parents are dragging behind. She can’t wait for them. She wants to see Keegan and do a proper goodbye that doesn’t involve her crying till her brain implodes.
As she nears Keegan’s grave she sees dirt lying around and a large hole with a rancid smell emitting from it. She slows down, suddenly afraid to go on, but wills herself to.
She holds the flowers tighter, peers over the edge.
She falls back with a scream. “Mama! Daddy!”
She runs to her parents, flowers abandoned on the ground.
Kennedy runs away from the scene of a happy-looking Keegan, holding a bloodied and very much dead Javed.
Keegan use to tell Javed that they would be together forever. That it was a promise.
He never breaks promises.