My Most Critical Flaw
Stumbling.
I read my horoscope birthday description and it seems rather accurate. Yet, one exception: self-confidence. I've been wondering: why isn't that element true?
When the element falls, everything else about me fails. Yet, when reading the general description of by sign, there it is: sometimes, the lack of self-confidence occurs. And I quote, "You are sometimes shy and lack self confidence and self-esteem."
I know. I cannot delve too much into the horoscopesl. It does merit a long history as far as spirituality is concerned. Even so, much of the material is eerily coincidental. And, sometimes, it is flat out BS.
So, in my personal examination - why does this "stumbling" occur?
Tracing my personal history, once I stumble - I literally fall into a path of mediocrity. This applies(d) to multiple endeavors in my past. Once I stumble, the failure impending becomes inevitable. I can cite several where I initially perform well - and then find a condition that renders later performances inept.
For example. My first semester as a CS Major - I attained all A's, except for a B. Not bad. In fact, I was rather happy about that. With a change in major, my class attitude changed for the better. However, I stumbled when I was called "worthless" to my face. So, in my last year, I saw my GPA drop from 3.2 to 2.8. While other factors like 9/11 came into play, I remained my old lackadaisical self. Though, I have to admit; my goal was to graduate in 4 years; and I did that. But still... deep down, I wanted to be good; but I stumbled.
So, what can I do to prevent this?
One: Goal Definition.
I have to define my goals and set myself out to do them. If I have to, I write it down. So far, with this journal, that's exactly what I am doing. By doing so, I make promises to myself and put effort to maintain the value of my word. Furthermore, nothing will allow me to stop from reaching that goal. And from this point forward - this policy becomes more critical with age. The affordability for failure comes at an ever greater price.
Thankfully, with the Greater Kyuu Project, I have a written set of goals right now. Plus, I have a method to create goals and consider the steps to attain them. Though, best be wary not to set too much.
Given my track record, I shall anticipate future "stumbling". I just have to handle them. Easier said than done though. Just best to keep an eye out.
I read my horoscope birthday description and it seems rather accurate. Yet, one exception: self-confidence. I've been wondering: why isn't that element true?
When the element falls, everything else about me fails. Yet, when reading the general description of by sign, there it is: sometimes, the lack of self-confidence occurs. And I quote, "You are sometimes shy and lack self confidence and self-esteem."
I know. I cannot delve too much into the horoscopesl. It does merit a long history as far as spirituality is concerned. Even so, much of the material is eerily coincidental. And, sometimes, it is flat out BS.
So, in my personal examination - why does this "stumbling" occur?
Tracing my personal history, once I stumble - I literally fall into a path of mediocrity. This applies(d) to multiple endeavors in my past. Once I stumble, the failure impending becomes inevitable. I can cite several where I initially perform well - and then find a condition that renders later performances inept.
For example. My first semester as a CS Major - I attained all A's, except for a B. Not bad. In fact, I was rather happy about that. With a change in major, my class attitude changed for the better. However, I stumbled when I was called "worthless" to my face. So, in my last year, I saw my GPA drop from 3.2 to 2.8. While other factors like 9/11 came into play, I remained my old lackadaisical self. Though, I have to admit; my goal was to graduate in 4 years; and I did that. But still... deep down, I wanted to be good; but I stumbled.
So, what can I do to prevent this?
One: Goal Definition.
I have to define my goals and set myself out to do them. If I have to, I write it down. So far, with this journal, that's exactly what I am doing. By doing so, I make promises to myself and put effort to maintain the value of my word. Furthermore, nothing will allow me to stop from reaching that goal. And from this point forward - this policy becomes more critical with age. The affordability for failure comes at an ever greater price.
Thankfully, with the Greater Kyuu Project, I have a written set of goals right now. Plus, I have a method to create goals and consider the steps to attain them. Though, best be wary not to set too much.
Given my track record, I shall anticipate future "stumbling". I just have to handle them. Easier said than done though. Just best to keep an eye out.