MRS. LANDINGHAM.
Internet, do we have a Gossip Girl hangover or something? CAPSLOCK WITH ME.
(MRS. LANDINGHAM.)
"SO SHUT UP AND DANCE WITH ME."
I'm so glad we didn't have to see the break-up of Chuck and Blair dancing, because that could have made me sad. Instead: this.
+ HONESTLY, IS ANYONE SURPRISED THAT BART DIED? I MEAN REALLY? Also: oh, so, hey - this is the plot of that supposed first draft season finale?
+ Lily, honestly? Before that whole my-husband-is-dead business, let's get one thing straight. You married Bart Bass, and you're honestly shocked and appalled he'd spy on you? HE'S BART BASS. I feel like she doesn't understand this fundamental point. I say this, holding Lily/Rufus second to my heart, to Chuck/Blair.
+ YOU GUYS: DO LILY AND RUFUS HAVE A NON-DAN OR JENNY KID TOGETHER? I... THINK THEY MIGHT, YOU GUYS. True story: based on nothing except my wild fantasies.
+ BART BASS HAS A SECRETARY AND HER NAME IS ~MRS. LANDINGHAM~. OH, SHOW. HE HAS A SECRETARY NAMED MRS. LANDINGHAM AND THEN HE DIED IN A CAR ACCIDENT. YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS. GOSSIP GIRL JUST MADE A WEST WING JOKE. OH HOLY MOTHER OF GOD.
+ So I have totally been bored beyond tears by Dan/Serena, so whatever, but I kind of can't stop watching the trainwreck of LOL that is Jenny/Nate/Vanessa. OH NOES, YOU GUYS, LITTLE J GOT BACK AT VANESSA BY GIVING HER A SECRETLY SEE-THROUGH DRESS, AND IN A MOMENT OF BREAK-UP EMO THE WHOLE DANCE WATCHES AS EVERYONE DISCOVERS VANESSA HAS LEGS. OH NOES. Seriously, you guys. Little J deserves a Santino in her life to remind her, "Lighten up, it's just faaaaaaaaashion!" (THE AFFAIR OF THE UGLY SEE-THROUGH DRESS. Honestly, folks, if someone gave me that dress, I'd laugh nervously and then wear something else, claiming I had spilled a glass of red wine all over my bed. True story: this would be believable.)
("I WROTE YOU THIS LETTER AFTER THE FASHION SHOW, TO TELL YOU HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU." I love-hate this, you guys.)
(MRS. LANDINGHAM.)
"SO SHUT UP AND DANCE WITH ME."
I'm so glad we didn't have to see the break-up of Chuck and Blair dancing, because that could have made me sad. Instead: this.
+ HONESTLY, IS ANYONE SURPRISED THAT BART DIED? I MEAN REALLY? Also: oh, so, hey - this is the plot of that supposed first draft season finale?
+ Lily, honestly? Before that whole my-husband-is-dead business, let's get one thing straight. You married Bart Bass, and you're honestly shocked and appalled he'd spy on you? HE'S BART BASS. I feel like she doesn't understand this fundamental point. I say this, holding Lily/Rufus second to my heart, to Chuck/Blair.
+ YOU GUYS: DO LILY AND RUFUS HAVE A NON-DAN OR JENNY KID TOGETHER? I... THINK THEY MIGHT, YOU GUYS. True story: based on nothing except my wild fantasies.
+ BART BASS HAS A SECRETARY AND HER NAME IS ~MRS. LANDINGHAM~. OH, SHOW. HE HAS A SECRETARY NAMED MRS. LANDINGHAM AND THEN HE DIED IN A CAR ACCIDENT. YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS. GOSSIP GIRL JUST MADE A WEST WING JOKE. OH HOLY MOTHER OF GOD.
+ So I have totally been bored beyond tears by Dan/Serena, so whatever, but I kind of can't stop watching the trainwreck of LOL that is Jenny/Nate/Vanessa. OH NOES, YOU GUYS, LITTLE J GOT BACK AT VANESSA BY GIVING HER A SECRETLY SEE-THROUGH DRESS, AND IN A MOMENT OF BREAK-UP EMO THE WHOLE DANCE WATCHES AS EVERYONE DISCOVERS VANESSA HAS LEGS. OH NOES. Seriously, you guys. Little J deserves a Santino in her life to remind her, "Lighten up, it's just faaaaaaaaashion!" (THE AFFAIR OF THE UGLY SEE-THROUGH DRESS. Honestly, folks, if someone gave me that dress, I'd laugh nervously and then wear something else, claiming I had spilled a glass of red wine all over my bed. True story: this would be believable.)
("I WROTE YOU THIS LETTER AFTER THE FASHION SHOW, TO TELL YOU HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU." I love-hate this, you guys.)