I didn't know I paced, Ruth.

[daygloparker]

True story: once upon a time, I received a (random) prompt for a ficathon. I stared at that prompt for a while, trying to figure out why it was that it was so familiar looking, until I realized that the reason was because the author had taught me in college. True god damn story. RU RAH RAH!

Also: how the hell did this happen.

TITLE: Elocation (

Comments

[delgaserasca]

No, okay, so: it's the Book of Ruth! I mean, the whole thing, it is-- you have taken that desperate, horrible edge that Spooks give us and-- it's on its head. Because this whole fic is things we sort of already know - things we have guessed, intuited - and yet it is still shocking.

I love the parentheses, how everything is elided, how there are still things she doesn't want to think or talk about - I mean, things she won't even think about herself, things she has brushed to the margins of her life. Which is appropriate: they still guide her.

Spooks is not character fiction, as much as it sometimes wants to be. There are these gaping holes. I don't think that's a bad thing, but sometimes you want to tie things up. There are ways of doing it, and then there are ways. This would be the latter. It's such a satisfying read! It's so-- you cannot tell this story in a straight line. You cannot do it. People die at the end of a thing, not in the middle. But to then go through everything, all of that, the not-husband, the exile, the exodus, to go through all that and to find, at the end - at the beginning - that Harry had already made certain boundaries clear. That's. I have no words for what you did there.

Nggggggh. Why have you never written for this fandom before? I am worried you will now never write for us again. (As parting gifts go, it is a wholesome offering.)

I'm shutting up now because I'm embarrassing myself, but: oh god. This is excellent. This is. IT IS REALLY, TERRIBLY, HORRIBLY GREAT.

[daygloparker]

"YOU ARE A BORN SPOOK, RUTH." It took everything in my power not to write 1000 words of the varying degrees of that sentence, I will not even lie to you right now.

Okay - so this fic was always going to be about Ruth; I mean, I am me for one, and also I made a very real \o/ when I read this prompt because thank God it fit me, etcetera etcetera. I feel like the flood gates happened for two reasons: 1) re-watching 4x05 for the billionth time, only this time realizing the irony that Jo's first instance as a ~spy (saving Ruth and Zaf et al in the safe house) directly bookends the fact that her death is Ruth's first day back on the Grid in S8; 2) the feeling I've had since 8x01 first aired that Ruth is angry as hell - angry at herself, at Harry, at life, as persons unknown (and has been, for a lot of reasons). That actually she's been like this for a long time, long before she goes away in S5. Because you're right - shit doesn't have in a straight line on this show! Danny has to send away Zoe in the middle of S3, and it's impossible not to watch that and think, "Just you wait until Season 5, Harry! Just you wait."

Now do you see why I want Lucas and Ruth to bond in Series 9?! Oh, the possibilities of that!

Really - I am so glad you enjoyed it. Most of the time I think I am probably insane! Apparently not so much. M- ...maybe. And of course I will write this fandom again, because in many ways, I needed to get this off my chest first? That makes sense. For example, I now have to redeem Harry and Ruth as two characters who make me smile rather than two people who are depressing as all hell.