Feeling a bit better!
I believe that I've finally made a decision about next year. I've already stated many a time that there's not a chance in hell I'm returning to Lincoln. But I've been up in the air about anything else. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back to school, or change careers, or try another school district. I think I've decided though.
I'm not going back to Lincoln. It's not worth losing sleep over vacations, weeknights, weekends. It's not worth feeling like the administration is not going to back me up on anything I say. It's not worth worrying what kids are going to do or not to do. And it's not worth my effort is unappreciated.
I also know that early intervention is looking like a very attractive career. I don't know if it's something that I definitely want to do, but it is certainly something I want to look more at. There are tons of careers that I'd like to look at, and right now, I don't know what they entail.
I do know, however, that I am consistently happy working with the boys, even after a cranky day. I know that they appreciate my work and love it when I come over. And I know that working with them is a steady form of income that I enjoy.
So after a long time of thinking over the past few months, I think I'm going to take a year off. I have no one to answer to but myself, and I want to explore other careers. I know I can get enough money to take care of my necessities, and I know that I can use the time wisely (either in college or just exploring other options). And I also know, that being aware that I've got a set amount of time in Lincoln and only a set amount of time, I will be able to get through the year.
I think taking this year will allow me to understand a bit better about what I want to do. And if I return to school, I'd actually belong there. It's almost like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I think I needed this.
The one thing I've been nervous about, though, is the conversation with the Vernon's. I know that they are going to be happy. They've stated it many times. They'll need extra help with the new baby and they will not hire anyone else. Whenever I want to work they'll take me. I'm nervous about saying it out loud, though. Almost like making it official. And I'm even more nervous about saying it to my mom. But I think I'm done following the "correct path" that I'm supposed to take. I think I'm ready to start living for me and in a way to make sure I'm happy.
And I'm damn proud of that.
I'm not going back to Lincoln. It's not worth losing sleep over vacations, weeknights, weekends. It's not worth feeling like the administration is not going to back me up on anything I say. It's not worth worrying what kids are going to do or not to do. And it's not worth my effort is unappreciated.
I also know that early intervention is looking like a very attractive career. I don't know if it's something that I definitely want to do, but it is certainly something I want to look more at. There are tons of careers that I'd like to look at, and right now, I don't know what they entail.
I do know, however, that I am consistently happy working with the boys, even after a cranky day. I know that they appreciate my work and love it when I come over. And I know that working with them is a steady form of income that I enjoy.
So after a long time of thinking over the past few months, I think I'm going to take a year off. I have no one to answer to but myself, and I want to explore other careers. I know I can get enough money to take care of my necessities, and I know that I can use the time wisely (either in college or just exploring other options). And I also know, that being aware that I've got a set amount of time in Lincoln and only a set amount of time, I will be able to get through the year.
I think taking this year will allow me to understand a bit better about what I want to do. And if I return to school, I'd actually belong there. It's almost like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I think I needed this.
The one thing I've been nervous about, though, is the conversation with the Vernon's. I know that they are going to be happy. They've stated it many times. They'll need extra help with the new baby and they will not hire anyone else. Whenever I want to work they'll take me. I'm nervous about saying it out loud, though. Almost like making it official. And I'm even more nervous about saying it to my mom. But I think I'm done following the "correct path" that I'm supposed to take. I think I'm ready to start living for me and in a way to make sure I'm happy.
And I'm damn proud of that.