and I'm never going to have to do that again...
...but if I want to, I can. *grin*
Today was a bit of a fuck, I ended my relationship with Tamara today. I realized that "open relationships" are not for me... and no matter how much I would have liked to have gone on lying to myself and telling myself it was fine... it wasn't. Though not for lack of trying.*grin* I guess I just got tired of being "too easy"... the whole, "I want to be with you till someone better(right here and now) comes along then be with them till its over then back with you" thing... is... not pleasant. Kinda goes right ahead and makes you feel... well, like you're just convenient. Which really isn't that bad if that's all you're after, but if you want anything more... kind of leaves you wanting. I did go ahead and leave a back door open though... because I'm a big sappy fag. I told her that if she wanted to get back together that she'd have to be "single" and "prepared to work for it"...because .. well, she's an amazing girl... and if she does want to get back together and is ok with those "conditions" why not make it an option? I know I know... sappy fag... I said it already.
So the world came crashing down and plans for kids and marriage and helping each other attain our dreams was stripped away, and I broke.
So, here I am all shiny and new... awaiting the next nudge that sends me crashing to the floor. Ah life... would you be so kind as to remove the shards of glass you placed so... gently into my anus? Or was it I that placed them there?*laugh*
till next time...
Today was a bit of a fuck, I ended my relationship with Tamara today. I realized that "open relationships" are not for me... and no matter how much I would have liked to have gone on lying to myself and telling myself it was fine... it wasn't. Though not for lack of trying.*grin* I guess I just got tired of being "too easy"... the whole, "I want to be with you till someone better(right here and now) comes along then be with them till its over then back with you" thing... is... not pleasant. Kinda goes right ahead and makes you feel... well, like you're just convenient. Which really isn't that bad if that's all you're after, but if you want anything more... kind of leaves you wanting. I did go ahead and leave a back door open though... because I'm a big sappy fag. I told her that if she wanted to get back together that she'd have to be "single" and "prepared to work for it"...because .. well, she's an amazing girl... and if she does want to get back together and is ok with those "conditions" why not make it an option? I know I know... sappy fag... I said it already.
So the world came crashing down and plans for kids and marriage and helping each other attain our dreams was stripped away, and I broke.
So, here I am all shiny and new... awaiting the next nudge that sends me crashing to the floor. Ah life... would you be so kind as to remove the shards of glass you placed so... gently into my anus? Or was it I that placed them there?*laugh*
till next time...