the rough day
I'm anticipating a phone call at 10. It's been a rough day. I text-yelled at him today. Something kinda rough happened that I don't want to talk about, and it happened after I sent him the initial text (How do I offend, Dave?) and before he responded with "?", so I replied asking if I could call him, and he responded, "I can't talk, I'm getting ready for work...." So I wrote back to him, "look, my parents might separate and I need someone to talk to, can you call me ever?"
He didn't respond after over an hour, so I texted him again, "Tell me the truth, is the timing really that bad, or do you just not feel like putting up with my shit?" That got no reply either. I talked to his roommate who calmed me down about Dave's state with regard to me, so I texted him again (finally), saying "I'm really sorry, ignore my bitchiness, I've just got a lot going on right now. I hope to talk to you soon, whenever you can. I promise I'll be good." So he finally responded with "can't call till 10," so I said "That's ok, I'm sorry. I mean still call, I'm just sorry about the other stuff."
I'm a bitch today. I hated him yesterday. I tell him I hate him all the time, to which he replies, "No you don't..." Yeah. I know. I could never.
I know this is going to end badly. But I don't care. Whatever heartbreak I experience at the end of this will have been worth it just because I got to lay with him in the nook on my bed on Monday night. For that moment, it will all have been worth it. And because I got to trace my finger over and kiss his eyelid. Every tear. Every moment of loneliness. Everything.
He didn't respond after over an hour, so I texted him again, "Tell me the truth, is the timing really that bad, or do you just not feel like putting up with my shit?" That got no reply either. I talked to his roommate who calmed me down about Dave's state with regard to me, so I texted him again (finally), saying "I'm really sorry, ignore my bitchiness, I've just got a lot going on right now. I hope to talk to you soon, whenever you can. I promise I'll be good." So he finally responded with "can't call till 10," so I said "That's ok, I'm sorry. I mean still call, I'm just sorry about the other stuff."
I'm a bitch today. I hated him yesterday. I tell him I hate him all the time, to which he replies, "No you don't..." Yeah. I know. I could never.
I know this is going to end badly. But I don't care. Whatever heartbreak I experience at the end of this will have been worth it just because I got to lay with him in the nook on my bed on Monday night. For that moment, it will all have been worth it. And because I got to trace my finger over and kiss his eyelid. Every tear. Every moment of loneliness. Everything.