Sep 07, 2001 18:44
Estie Dee: shit sorry
Estie Dee: i was busy
Estie Dee: no
jbrownsuperstar: I was wondering what was going on
Estie Dee: i know im a geek
Estie Dee: he he
Estie Dee: ha ha
jbrownsuperstar: not really though...
Estie Dee: im not?
jbrownsuperstar: noooo
Estie Dee: Y not?
jbrownsuperstar: I don't really talk to those kinds a people. Cause I'm so well, awesome
Estie Dee: he he
jbrownsuperstar: So, Joe and I are supposed to go out tonight
Estie Dee: really?
Estie Dee: like go out and do something
Estie Dee: or stay at ur house
jbrownsuperstar: yeah. He came over last night, and kissed my a bunch of times
jbrownsuperstar: when I asked him what that was all about, he said we'd talk about it later, and that I shouldn't pressure him
Estie Dee: ha ha ha
jbrownsuperstar: So, what the hell is going on in his head?
Estie Dee: no clue
Estie Dee: what ever is
Estie Dee: its fucking 90 degrees here
jbrownsuperstar: It's a little warm here, too
jbrownsuperstar: Mike, your a guy
Estie Dee: i am
jbrownsuperstar: give me some answers here
jbrownsuperstar: although you would probably never even think of doing to Brittany what Joe does to me sometimes
Estie Dee: well...
Estie Dee: i dont know
Estie Dee: i mean, he seems like he needs to have someone
jbrownsuperstar: has he ever talked about me?
jbrownsuperstar: If it's bad I don't want to hear it
Estie Dee: not except to say that he was hanging out with you
jbrownsuperstar: hmm
Estie Dee: He is just so hard to figure out cuz he never opens up
Estie Dee: ya know
jbrownsuperstar: He does, to me, it just takes for ever. I've learned to cry on cue, cause it softens him up
jbrownsuperstar: Don't tell him that~
Estie Dee: ha ha
Estie Dee: I wont
Estie Dee: I dont plan on tellin him that we talk
Estie Dee: cuz he'd prolly get mad
jbrownsuperstar: I did kinda mention it, once in casual conversation.
jbrownsuperstar: And if he were to get mad, he'd be the biggest fucking hypocrite
Estie Dee: why is that?
jbrownsuperstar: he goes out with his ex girlfriends. I can't have a purely plutonic relationship with you?
Estie Dee: yea
Estie Dee: especially since its strictly an AIM friendship so far too
Estie Dee: loll
Estie Dee: lol
jbrownsuperstar: true
jbrownsuperstar: I think we're way above cyber sex anyway
Estie Dee: ha ha ha
Estie Dee: Sorry i cant help more
jbrownsuperstar: This is terrible though... I do kinda want to make him jealous, but that's really dangerous, you know?
Estie Dee: yea
jbrownsuperstar: Maybe the thought that I may not be around when he's "ready" would make him think
Estie Dee: oh i think it definitely would
jbrownsuperstar: but what am I supposed to do? I can't lie to the boy
Estie Dee: well then dont
Estie Dee: go on a date with someone
Estie Dee: so then u wont be lyin
jbrownsuperstar: no one ever asks me out. I've been hit on once in my life, and that doesn't include the Puerto Rican Guys who hang out at Quality markets, and say, "Yo 'sup, baby?"
Estie Dee: ha ha
Estie Dee: well then ask someone out
jbrownsuperstar: I can't do that!
Estie Dee: y?
jbrownsuperstar: because they'd say no
Estie Dee: y?
jbrownsuperstar: Mike, don't be stupid
Estie Dee: Seriously
Estie Dee: its not like ur ugly, or have zero personality
jbrownsuperstar: I'm not pretty, I have weight issues, and I have nothing good to say
Estie Dee: Ah dont say that
Estie Dee: thats not true
jbrownsuperstar: Mike, I'm starting to trust what you say, don't blow it now
Estie Dee: Im serious
Estie Dee: ur an attractive girl
Estie Dee: i dont know what u mean by weight issues
Estie Dee: and u have to have something to say
Estie Dee: i ahve pretty lengthy conversations with you
jbrownsuperstar: No one is interested in my animal rights convictions, or speaking German with me, or talking about God
Estie Dee: What about a christian german hippie.
Estie Dee: lol
jbrownsuperstar: lol
Estie Dee: I listen to u
jbrownsuperstar: But, Mike, I can't date you
Estie Dee: true
jbrownsuperstar: I know that's hard for you to come to terms with
jbrownsuperstar: Someday you will move on
jbrownsuperstar: I promise
Estie Dee: maybe
Estie Dee: i dont know though
Estie Dee: lol
jbrownsuperstar: How come we have to start talking when your two hours away?
Estie Dee: I dont know
Estie Dee: i didnt have ur SN
jbrownsuperstar: You're an awesome psuedo-girlfriend
Estie Dee: pseudo huh?
jbrownsuperstar: well, unless you really are a woman
Estie Dee: oh i didnt see the girl part
Estie Dee: ha ha ha
jbrownsuperstar: lol
Estie Dee: i thought it said pseudo friend
jbrownsuperstar: no, Mikey Mike Mac Daddy, I
jbrownsuperstar: would consider you a friend
Estie Dee: :-D
Estie Dee: sweet
jbrownsuperstar: So, anyway, back to me..
Estie Dee: ha ha ha
jbrownsuperstar: How are we gonna get my boy interested in me again?
Estie Dee: keep givin him blue balls
jbrownsuperstar: I can't do that. I'm weak
Estie Dee: Hmm
Estie Dee: if u act disinterest, that will prolly drive him wild
Estie Dee: make him do all he can to get u to like him
jbrownsuperstar: I tried. I get so depressed, I break down and call him
Estie Dee: i guess that would go along with the dating other people thing
Estie Dee: hmmm
Estie Dee: well whenever u want to call him, go somewhere and try to meet someone
jbrownsuperstar: Do you know how shy I am?
Estie Dee: so
Estie Dee: ur a girl
Estie Dee: thats all it takes
jbrownsuperstar: how do I "meet people"? What do I say?
Estie Dee: Hi is a good starter
Estie Dee: go around ur campus
Estie Dee: talk to people in ur class
Estie Dee: esx
Estie Dee: classes
jbrownsuperstar: If you were sitting on a bench on campus, reading a book...
jbrownsuperstar: and a girl (who looked like me) came up to you
jbrownsuperstar: what would she say to you that would make you instantly want her?
Estie Dee: hmmm
Estie Dee: well its not an instant thing
jbrownsuperstar: what would make you interested?
Estie Dee: just say can i sit down
Estie Dee: and start talking
Estie Dee: guys are suckers for ladies
jbrownsuperstar: You know what my problem is?
Estie Dee: whats that?
jbrownsuperstar: I'm afraid that who ever I talk to will have a girlfriend
Estie Dee: ha ha
Estie Dee: well if they do, then they can just be ur friend
Estie Dee: u dont have to date everyone u meet
jbrownsuperstar: Ypu know everytime we talk, I whine about Joe. I don't want to do that anymore
Estie Dee: Its not whining
jbrownsuperstar: yes it is
Estie Dee: but it prolly also would be a good idea to get ur mind off of it
jbrownsuperstar: Yeah
Estie Dee: dont u have girlfriends from highschool?
jbrownsuperstar: I hated highschool so much
Estie Dee: really?
Estie Dee: hmmm
Estie Dee: shame u never got to hang out with britt a lot
Estie Dee: i think u guys would be friends
jbrownsuperstar: In highschool it was JesandBob, and no one else.
jbrownsuperstar: How old is she?
Estie Dee: 17
Estie Dee: but she is cool
jbrownsuperstar: I don't know. She seems kinda teeny bopperish. Like she would like Blink182
Estie Dee: nah
Estie Dee: she is more into like incubus
Estie Dee: weezer
Estie Dee: tool
Estie Dee: i got her into jimmy eat world
Estie Dee: and alkaline trio
Estie Dee: she dresses teenybopper
Estie Dee: but she isnt
jbrownsuperstar: It like to each his own, and I'll keep to myselg
jbrownsuperstar: myslef
jbrownsuperstar: dammit
Estie Dee: my slef
Estie Dee: ha ha
jbrownsuperstar: I had one absolute best friend, that I really could use right now
jbrownsuperstar: hey!
jbrownsuperstar: that would make Joe soooo jealous
Estie Dee: who is that absolue best friend?
jbrownsuperstar: Nick Oshlick
jbrownsuperstar: Joe hates him
Estie Dee: so y dont u call him
jbrownsuperstar: I want to, but he'd get the feeling that I was falling into the habit of "Well, I have no one else, I'll turn to Nick." and then when I find someone, it'll be over agian
Estie Dee: u like, get with him?
jbrownsuperstar: The whole reason we didn't want to really become friends again was because we knew we'd fall in love again
jbrownsuperstar: I was so in love with that boy
Estie Dee: ah, i gotcha
jbrownsuperstar: We met by accidentally making out on a bus
Estie Dee: ??
jbrownsuperstar: Yeah, that was when I was with Bob
Estie Dee: how did u accidentally make out on a bus
Estie Dee: ?
jbrownsuperstar: I don't know. One day I punched him in the face, and then there we were under that blanket on the band bus
Estie Dee: im confused
jbrownsuperstar: I was in a band, and he would come over during practices. He thought I hated him, but I really didn't care either way. One day, just joking around, he grabbed my neck, and I hate that. Phobia.. anyway, I punched him in the face
jbrownsuperstar: Then we started to talk, and get along, and on a two hour bus trip back from pittsburg, for a marching band compitition, he sat with me. I don't know what happened, but we started making out under my blanket
Estie Dee: damn
jbrownsuperstar: The next day I had to tell bob
Estie Dee: band buses are fucking nutz
jbrownsuperstar: Your tellingme
Estie Dee: he he
Estie Dee: how do u like school?
jbrownsuperstar: Wait, I'm not done
Estie Dee: oh... lol
jbrownsuperstar: Well, bobby was furious, and all of bobby's friends were threatening Nick, and everyone in school knew what happened, and would stare at us when we'd (Nick and I) talk in the hall.
jbrownsuperstar: Nick is three years younger than I am
Estie Dee: holy shit
jbrownsuperstar: any way, I told bobby he wasn't really a christian if he could forgive me and not nick, so Bobby did, and we were all friends
jbrownsuperstar: Then bobby dumped my and I became horribly anorexic. I went to the hospital and everything. Nick was there for me through everything
Estie Dee: man
jbrownsuperstar: When I started to get better, Nick and I were 102% unseperable. I slept at his house all the time, we did everything together. everything
jbrownsuperstar: Then I met Joe, Nick felt like he was being replaced, and we stopped talking
Estie Dee: and how old were each of u?
jbrownsuperstar: I met nick when he was 14, and I was 17. I'm now 19, and he's 16
Estie Dee: wow
Estie Dee: so u went out with nick?
jbrownsuperstar: Kinda. The day after we slept together we were as unnofficial as could be, but then he said we couldn't be together
Estie Dee: y?
jbrownsuperstar: When I'd ask him out, he'd say no. Then the next week he'd ask me out, and I'd say no
jbrownsuperstar: I don't know
Estie Dee: hmmm
jbrownsuperstar: Looking back, we should have just gone for it
Estie Dee: so u stopped seeing him to date joe?
jbrownsuperstar: Not intentionally
Estie Dee: o
jbrownsuperstar: He made it seem like he was really fine with it
jbrownsuperstar: So, theres the end of my story
Estie Dee: were u dating both of them at the same time?
jbrownsuperstar: No, I was never technically with Nick
Estie Dee: ah
Estie Dee: jeez, that is an intense story
jbrownsuperstar: So, do you understand why I'm sensative about my weight?
Estie Dee: yea
Estie Dee: im sorry
Estie Dee: are u okay now>
Estie Dee: ?
jbrownsuperstar: for what?
jbrownsuperstar: I hide it better now
Estie Dee: ah man
Estie Dee: u shouldnt do that to urself
Estie Dee: u are a really good person
jbrownsuperstar: well, I try
Estie Dee: ive only talked to u online and i think ur cool as hell
Estie Dee: i hate to do this but i ahve to go
jbrownsuperstar: I think the world of you, Mikey Mike Mac Daddy
Estie Dee: aaaw thanks
Estie Dee: :-)
jbrownsuperstar: Alright. I think I'll go bathe myself
Estie Dee: ha ha
Estie Dee: u better
Estie Dee: see ya
Estie Dee: ur a sweet girl
Estie Dee: dont forget that
Estie Dee: later kiddo
Estie Dee: bye
jbrownsuperstar: thanks, sweet boy
jbrownsuperstar: Bye
Estie Dee: :-D