(no subject)
saw the rise and fall of the rising dead. a group out of ny. liquid junctions. subway dances. poetic prosody, ps122. saw blue velvet. i couldn't hlep but be both horny and grumpy at the same time. wondered if i'd ever get stabbed walking through the tenderloin so late at night. because it's happened before. the man at the bakery who looks at me and then rubs his penis against the counter. something sad when i heard the little asian girl say "merci maman". post-colonial bullshit. fantasizing about the secret life of trinh minh-ha and jean-paul boudier. how does she smile when they chat about this and that theory. looks too soft-spoken to fuck passionately. and then L never comes home. the new pretty girl keeps wanting to eat his icecream. drunk on jager again to complain, about what. about never kissing me enough or something like that. i wish i was more like i am at the bakery, all smiles and stupidity. but really life of a punch card slave is...they all work too fast. calm down says tigor. drives a mercedes and brings us sushi. man who rubs his penis against the counter. L never comes home. It's vraiment triste to spend all day sitting. When I'm sick of reading I buy an item of clothing. Overly productive. Make friends in between times. Rachel and Eric came into the bakery clinging to each other like trees. Tried to do the slick thing and give them free goods, only Rachel didn't understand my cunning. Class, oh class. I will forge in the smithy of my soul--what. Just love and desire and pleasures. Tu aimes, Tim? Yes, yes already ca me plait. Everyone in the house ne me plait pas. They are a bunch of uninteresting hacks. Someome will read this and show everyone but I don't care, it's already happened before. wrote some play about some theory. nobody gets it. says they're "excited" and "terrified". don't know if i've got enough energy to care. wrote some poems about some feeling i had looking out the window again .nothing very interesting. can't wait to get out of here, go to new york.