Staying true to your voice. [a writing post]
So, I have read some amazing posts on writing handed out by our very own queenoftheskies and
music_lover3 and
m_stiefvater . Naturally I feel that I may have some thoughts to share on writing that don’t usually take up the spotlight like procrastination, self-doubt and dialogue do. And mainly staying true to yourself, while writing.
There is this ages old advice and practice preached by seasoned and published writers that while they are writing, they shouldn’t read at all. I didn’t get the logic behind it, until I started my review blog and pretty much had to handle reading and writing at the same time. Around the time I started writing my first ever novel, the urban fantasy “Forged in Blood” I was high on Gena Showalter, Rachel Vincent, Karen Chance and Jeaniene Frost and also under the impression that I was no control over purple prose. My decision to handle the purple prose bit was rather harsh and influenced by all these authors, who present a very strong female POV and a narrative that is not flowing like I write, but rather hard and staccato, I changed my own voice.
This wasn’t a very conscious decision. I acted on the problem that I was writing too much and not saying anything, while at the same monitored what the market held as profitable. It was around the end of March, when I started sensing problems sitting down and writing at all. I couldn’t express myself at all, because handling the purple prose caused an avalanche of headaches. In retrospect now I realize I had lost my own voice and wrote through the cacophonic echoes of other writers, who are quite different on their own. I couldn’t write for several months on things I really wanted to work on and around May I had the epiphany that my mind didn’t work that way, didn’t express itself that way and didn’t want all the images projected in my head to go on paper the way I stubbornly wanted.
It took me 60 days to find the problem to my blockage and it really was an epiphany. I remember I was thinking about “Seaborn” and “The Even”, both amazing books that really connected with me as a writer style-wise. For me they were unique, they showed a different edge to their respected genres and were so out of the box with unusual theme and also unusual wording, flow and magical spark that drew readers in. There was almost a synergy between me and the books. Thinking about this and engaging in yet another daydreaming session, while on the bus, my own mind pointed with a neon sign towards where the issue was.
Basically it's hard to explain what went through my head and my heart, when the revelation popped like a Jack in a Box in my stream of thoughts. Writing isn't exact science and I ain't the brightest at detecting faults, so it was bizarre and uncomfortable. One of my reactions was that I was selling myself for money, knew it, but lied to myself about the sudden changes in my writing that eventually made me dread the keyboard. Then came the unshakable fear that all these damages were in fact irreversible and I was permanently stuck in my stupidity sap for all next generations to observe and document. Naturally I took a very typical evasive type of action and disconnected myself. I am not sure this technique works for everybody, but if you receive your stories as movie projections then by all means forget that you need to work with the stories, sit down, stretch out and take in everything your mind offers. Percolate thoughts and imagine what words connect with the images.
This is a highly individualized approach that takes way to long to recharge your batteries, your attitude and your word bank and works for me only because I am first and fore most a daydreamer and a storyteller that likes oral story telling and writer as of recent. What I did next was to capitalize on the essence I wanted to convey and just practice my prose and manner of expression. What did great job was writing some vignettes, which are micro fiction to short fiction long pieces of narratives that focus on a scene that is unconnected with a bigger story, like the cut scenes from a fast paced novel, when the main protagonist is resting or contemplating on general things about life and mundane aspects that don't fill in the novel space. I recommend this to everybody stuck in a rut by the way, since it's like the breath of fresh air your imagination needs to catch up with the workload on longer projects you set as goals. As you can see the situation with losing your voice isn't exactly beyond salvation, but it should never occur to a writer. It brings the bad kind of self-doubt and need to procrastinate.
However here is the whole gist of it. As a writing post there should be some kind of advice or at least a morale. So here goes. In writing you should stay true to yourself and never betray the voice that comes naturally to you. If you are inexperienced and don't know how to separate your own writing from the one of others, then don't be too depressed, because there is a release for your problems. Also if you think that your novels will never sell, because they are not the hottest thing on the market then don't listen to that suggestion to echo what sells. It will never earn you points and doing something that is not your own will only create bigger problems as each mind is custom built and needs its own self expression.