I spy with my sniper nightvision goggles... a writer in hiding!
So yeah, I am back sort of. I have been fighting my addiction with the TV and the melancholy that has been plaguing me for a while. It all has to do with the divorce, but before you actually start to think that I miss my father and regret that I told him it was better, if he did leave us. There is stress, major stress, which left me as a total couch potato with fingers stuck to the mouse and clicking movie after movie, but it’s related to the fact that there is this empty spot within me after he actually went away. It was my birthday wish for quite a while that divine retribution knocked on my door and set things straight, because every day at home, I felt repressed and my father is talented at making you look worthless.
The anticipation of him leaving brought these insane expectations that once he walked out that door there would be this amazing snapping-of-chains relief that would brighten me up from inside. However when it actually did happen two weeks ago, nothing like that occurred and I was robbed of one the greatest moments in my life. Yes, I know how this sounds and still I can’t explain how much I needed the release from him. I am different from what he is and yet the thought that he is my father, I am his flesh and that one day I may turn into something similar made me crave his departure from my life even more. So now when the divorce is reality I am left hollow, really hollow. That is the reason I have been lacking my online presence.
The great news amidst all my blues is that I managed to explain why I felt hollow, which means communication with myself is possible after all. I even cured partially of course my inability to focus and write a really haunting poem to get rid of the nasty emotions. Now we shall see whether I am able to edit some short stuff and get prepared for the novel editing. Yikes. Also there is the NaNoWriMo outline to work on. The idea is rather too complex for a 50K project, but at least I will get most done. I am so adding double agent stuff. I like it when good guys turn super evil and enjoy it.
I actually wanted to post this earlier like September 17th, but it so happened with this flunk that I missed it. I finally got my taste of stardom. Urban Fantasy author Kristopher Reisz decided that I would make a very good role model to other boy teens to get started with writing and literature in all. His questions were not as much as I would have liked to. In the sake of talking about myself I would have written something with the volume of “War & Peace”, but still I managed to fill everything up. The interview is posted originally on Guys Lit Wire, but you can read it from Kris’ blog.