It's Another One of Those
While this is not my personal journal, this is where most of my stories go, so I sometimes post somewhat personal entries related to writing here too. I know some people in this community and a few of them I am good friends with. Majority, though, are strangers, and that's why I posted an entry asking people to introduce themselves. I am writing this because, last night, after rereading the latest chapter of I'm in Love with My Younger Brother, I felt a sense of gratification surge within me. I have not felt that from my writing in a long while.
I once had dreams of becoming a writer-a published writer-and almost changed courses in university. I am currently in a program called English Studies and am majoring in Language Studies, a discipline I never exactly had a fondness for. I was supposed to take Creative Writing, but due to my own stupidity, I didn’t get in. I made a terrible mistake of writing down the wrong course code in my application. Anyway, I wanted to shift to CW but never really had the guts to take even the first step. I’m a coward, see, and I never really had much confidence in my writing, partly because I felt I was surrounded with people who were smarter and much better writers than I was. It’s still the same now, actually.
I never left the Language program. As I’ve said, I just didn’t have enough faith in myself and in what I can do as a writer. And I still don’t, to be honest. I lack the discipline and the willpower to become a real writer. I only write fan fiction now. Not only because there is a ready audience, but because the characters I manipulate in my stories are based off people I adore.
That’s right: I adore Alice Nine.
I keep seeing stories in fan fiction communities with all these J-rockers in them. Unfortunately, I haven’t really read any. I just couldn’t, that’s the problem. Although I write it, I never really read fan fiction.
Why is that?
Well, let’s just say that I am a picky reader. I am not very bright, so I don’t really read hardcore literary fiction. I like clear prose with a lot of vivid description. Reading a book written that way is sometimes better than watching a movie. And unfortunately, I haven’t really encountered Shou/Hiroto or Hiroto/Shou fan fiction written like that. Which is probably why I never really got into reading fan fiction. Also, I refuse to read anything that isn’t Hiroto/Shou or Tora/Saga, so that further narrows down the category. Of course, there are some Shou/Hiroto fan fiction writers whose writing I adore but unfortunately, none of them really write anymore. It’s a sad thing, really. I mentioned in another entry of this sort that I somehow stopped believing in my ideas, and it’s still the same now, which is why the story I’m writing is set in an alternative universe. Who knows if I could still write non-AU?
I really don’t know why I’m writing these things but I want to end it with this: although I can only write fan fiction for now, I do take my writing very seriously. I wanted I’m in Love with My Younger Brother to be a funny story, but it ended up being rather serious, don’t you think? I want to write original fiction someday. Because as much as I love making up stories and false identities for the boys of Alice Nine, I will never really get anywhere if I let myself be contained in fan fiction forever.
What do you think? Do you think I can write original stories? You are my only readers now, so I can only depend on you to tell me what I am capable of as a writer. Please tell me. I would really really appreciate it. &hearts
I once had dreams of becoming a writer-a published writer-and almost changed courses in university. I am currently in a program called English Studies and am majoring in Language Studies, a discipline I never exactly had a fondness for. I was supposed to take Creative Writing, but due to my own stupidity, I didn’t get in. I made a terrible mistake of writing down the wrong course code in my application. Anyway, I wanted to shift to CW but never really had the guts to take even the first step. I’m a coward, see, and I never really had much confidence in my writing, partly because I felt I was surrounded with people who were smarter and much better writers than I was. It’s still the same now, actually.
I never left the Language program. As I’ve said, I just didn’t have enough faith in myself and in what I can do as a writer. And I still don’t, to be honest. I lack the discipline and the willpower to become a real writer. I only write fan fiction now. Not only because there is a ready audience, but because the characters I manipulate in my stories are based off people I adore.
That’s right: I adore Alice Nine.
I keep seeing stories in fan fiction communities with all these J-rockers in them. Unfortunately, I haven’t really read any. I just couldn’t, that’s the problem. Although I write it, I never really read fan fiction.
Why is that?
Well, let’s just say that I am a picky reader. I am not very bright, so I don’t really read hardcore literary fiction. I like clear prose with a lot of vivid description. Reading a book written that way is sometimes better than watching a movie. And unfortunately, I haven’t really encountered Shou/Hiroto or Hiroto/Shou fan fiction written like that. Which is probably why I never really got into reading fan fiction. Also, I refuse to read anything that isn’t Hiroto/Shou or Tora/Saga, so that further narrows down the category. Of course, there are some Shou/Hiroto fan fiction writers whose writing I adore but unfortunately, none of them really write anymore. It’s a sad thing, really. I mentioned in another entry of this sort that I somehow stopped believing in my ideas, and it’s still the same now, which is why the story I’m writing is set in an alternative universe. Who knows if I could still write non-AU?
I really don’t know why I’m writing these things but I want to end it with this: although I can only write fan fiction for now, I do take my writing very seriously. I wanted I’m in Love with My Younger Brother to be a funny story, but it ended up being rather serious, don’t you think? I want to write original fiction someday. Because as much as I love making up stories and false identities for the boys of Alice Nine, I will never really get anywhere if I let myself be contained in fan fiction forever.
What do you think? Do you think I can write original stories? You are my only readers now, so I can only depend on you to tell me what I am capable of as a writer. Please tell me. I would really really appreciate it. &hearts