Bite me hallmark
Valentine's Day is just a hallmark holiday. I wish I could believe that. Then maybe things wouldn't have gone so bad. I feel like I build up so many things to be so great in my head and then I'm like constantly disappointed. I do it with everything. People, holidays, surprises, movies... everything. It's just the way I am.
When I like someone, its because I really think they're amazing, and then when they're not, its just so upsetting to me, because i want them to be that great person I know they're capable of being, that I truly believe they are... and then they hurt me and I know they know better, and it just makes it worse... and I feel horrible...
And then there's the holidays. Every year I get totally excited for certain ones. And sometimes they're great, they fit the picture in my head. And sometimes they're not but it's ok because they come close at least, or an attempt was made to make them as perfect as possible. But then there's the times where they fall incredibly short. I know some people might think its silly to place so much importance and get so emotional over a day, but I can't help my self. I just feel like out of the 365 days in the year, there are just ones that are supposed to be amazing, no questions asked.
Maybe I'm just too naive, and I need to get more cynacil about things, but there's just so much hope in me. Hope that one day all these things will be perfect.
I mean that's not to say that I hate my life or anything. I don't. I love it. Maybe that's just it, so many things in my life are perfect that i just want everything else to be that way.
Should I lower my standards? Should I expect less? Do I deserve less? I just don't know. These are the things that the people who love you would tell you never to do, but I can't help but think, do I have any other choice?
hmmm...no... I can't... with out hope I just wouldn't be myself...