(no subject)
will broke up with me. thank you thank you another relationship i royally screwed up. now hes barely speaking a single solitarty word to me. wonderful. just how i envisioned it.
met my dads girlfriend and had a huge all out battle with weapons and explosives. well not really but i would have liked to. but there was an all out war on fathers day with my father and supposedly it was a good step to work on our relationship. yea ok. what relationship. you mean the one where he up and leaves me and his family cause we arent good enough. oh yea that one.oh the wonderful warm memories.
seems like the only person who is really there for me and who has ever been really there for me is kaitlin. i dont know what id do without her i really dont. shell never know how much she really means to me as a friend sister confidant and partner in crime!
lauren and i arent talking but whatever just another person to up and leave my life. so im used to it. goodtimes.
i miss gina. and i miss brennan and geof and actually....i miss ben. ive been thinking about him lately. the past week ive had a few dreams about him so hes definitely still in my mind somewhere. sometimes i think what if i had tried harder and had been better. been prettier thinner funnier smarter just over all MORE and what if we had gotten together. then i wouldnt have had to go through that bullshit with seth. there never would have been a seth. and i wouldnt have had to meet will only to have him hurt me. i just wish things were 100% differnt.
kaitlin graduated and im soo proud of her. i cried a little while i was there and when she walked up there. i wish i could have been there walking up right after her. i would have too cause we do have the same last name and all. but i feel incredibly alone and left out with this whole graduation thing that has passed. i feel like i missed out. and i probably did. but in a weird way when kaitlin graduated i kinda felt like a part of me did with her too. i dunno why. maybe it was cause kaitlin was the one person who stuck by me when everything was horrible. and she never seemed too tired to listen to me or try to help me or make me forget about things. even if she was too tired she pretended really well. i only hope i can do the same for her in return.i try to.
met my dads girlfriend and had a huge all out battle with weapons and explosives. well not really but i would have liked to. but there was an all out war on fathers day with my father and supposedly it was a good step to work on our relationship. yea ok. what relationship. you mean the one where he up and leaves me and his family cause we arent good enough. oh yea that one.oh the wonderful warm memories.
seems like the only person who is really there for me and who has ever been really there for me is kaitlin. i dont know what id do without her i really dont. shell never know how much she really means to me as a friend sister confidant and partner in crime!
lauren and i arent talking but whatever just another person to up and leave my life. so im used to it. goodtimes.
i miss gina. and i miss brennan and geof and actually....i miss ben. ive been thinking about him lately. the past week ive had a few dreams about him so hes definitely still in my mind somewhere. sometimes i think what if i had tried harder and had been better. been prettier thinner funnier smarter just over all MORE and what if we had gotten together. then i wouldnt have had to go through that bullshit with seth. there never would have been a seth. and i wouldnt have had to meet will only to have him hurt me. i just wish things were 100% differnt.
kaitlin graduated and im soo proud of her. i cried a little while i was there and when she walked up there. i wish i could have been there walking up right after her. i would have too cause we do have the same last name and all. but i feel incredibly alone and left out with this whole graduation thing that has passed. i feel like i missed out. and i probably did. but in a weird way when kaitlin graduated i kinda felt like a part of me did with her too. i dunno why. maybe it was cause kaitlin was the one person who stuck by me when everything was horrible. and she never seemed too tired to listen to me or try to help me or make me forget about things. even if she was too tired she pretended really well. i only hope i can do the same for her in return.i try to.