In my heart's sequestered chambers lie truths stripped of poet's gloss
Have you ever told yourself the night before that you're going to sleep as last as you can tomorrow and then you wake up the next morning at some ridiculousley early hour and you can't seem to find your way back to sleep? I don't know what provoked me to wake up so early, most likley a dream that I was having. I get alot of those latley...dreams, I wish someone could tell me what they mean becuase they just tend to confuse me more. It's been a hard few weeks as far as college and those things go.
There are no words that could do justice to how amazing and special the Gala in NYC was to me. It made think about how badly I want to be up there someday..conducting...teaching, it's a good feeling. Really, the entire experience made me feel like a more complete person. There are so many bad things going on in this world right now...so many, and here we all were, using our talents, the one thing that we love more than anything to do, in a church nonetheless, serenading close to 1000 people. It makes me feel good to know that I, and we made a difference by harmonizing with each other, both musically and mentally to produce such a wonderful night. We all did something so good, and I feel so proud of us all. It's so nice to know about all of the terrible things that go on in the world, and feel as though, even if it's just a bit, your helping the world be better.
I've been really confused and, well I really don't know how to describe this feeling. I wouldn't call it depression but there is just an element of fear, sadness and confusion in me right now. I know that it all will pass. It's just been hard with everything. I'm sure everyone feels this way with college and college decisions approaching. I just can't wait until may when it's all over and I can finally have my closure and my control back. It feels as though it's not in my hands, and it's not, anf i trust, I really do...but having no control is perhaps the hardest thing for me to cope with...or without that is. I just keep telling myself that it will all get better and pretty soon everything will be figured out and it will all go back to normal....
I'm beginning to grow restless with the weather. I am so tired of doing homework and having responsability. I can't wait for the carefree and spontaneous days of summer. I am looking forward to cruising around until 2 am, and just going from place to place with no destination...just a bunch a friends refusing to not be together..spending a night laughing and maybe flying.....who knows:) I can't wait to see my first sunset of the summer, to breath and soak in it's long rays and perfect colors. I just can't wait to run around outside with people that I care about and know that i'm free, and there is nothing to hold be back. The end of this year is already going by so fast and it's really very scary.....but so exciting....I guess I just live life content with what I have, and what really keeps me alive and so happy is the wishing and the dreaming and the hoping and the excitment that goes with whats to come in the future.
There are no words that could do justice to how amazing and special the Gala in NYC was to me. It made think about how badly I want to be up there someday..conducting...teaching, it's a good feeling. Really, the entire experience made me feel like a more complete person. There are so many bad things going on in this world right now...so many, and here we all were, using our talents, the one thing that we love more than anything to do, in a church nonetheless, serenading close to 1000 people. It makes me feel good to know that I, and we made a difference by harmonizing with each other, both musically and mentally to produce such a wonderful night. We all did something so good, and I feel so proud of us all. It's so nice to know about all of the terrible things that go on in the world, and feel as though, even if it's just a bit, your helping the world be better.
I've been really confused and, well I really don't know how to describe this feeling. I wouldn't call it depression but there is just an element of fear, sadness and confusion in me right now. I know that it all will pass. It's just been hard with everything. I'm sure everyone feels this way with college and college decisions approaching. I just can't wait until may when it's all over and I can finally have my closure and my control back. It feels as though it's not in my hands, and it's not, anf i trust, I really do...but having no control is perhaps the hardest thing for me to cope with...or without that is. I just keep telling myself that it will all get better and pretty soon everything will be figured out and it will all go back to normal....
I'm beginning to grow restless with the weather. I am so tired of doing homework and having responsability. I can't wait for the carefree and spontaneous days of summer. I am looking forward to cruising around until 2 am, and just going from place to place with no destination...just a bunch a friends refusing to not be together..spending a night laughing and maybe flying.....who knows:) I can't wait to see my first sunset of the summer, to breath and soak in it's long rays and perfect colors. I just can't wait to run around outside with people that I care about and know that i'm free, and there is nothing to hold be back. The end of this year is already going by so fast and it's really very scary.....but so exciting....I guess I just live life content with what I have, and what really keeps me alive and so happy is the wishing and the dreaming and the hoping and the excitment that goes with whats to come in the future.