(no subject)
Yeah so last night was the funeral, and honestly I didn't think it would be as hard as it was. I was prepared for it to be hard, mainly because this was the first funeral I'd been to since Mom died, but I didn't expect it to be what it was. As amazing and wonderful it was to rejoice in her life like that, it was really really tough. I held it together until Kurt sang for her, and after that I was gone....I really appreciated having all the people there to hug and have hug me....I discovered something new about Dan, he might be one of the very very few guys that makes me feel safe....
Idk I feel so strange right now, trivial things get up upset (which I know is udnerstandable but still it's obsessive). After making up a math test I hung out with Jods and Jay, and then Jessie came over...I enjoy spending that time with them, idk I get weird vibes when I'm around Jay. He's one of those guys that can be really amazing but also can be an ass....idk I see the good in him, just like I did in Jimmy, and it scares me. I see Jay and I just feel like he needs a "good girl" someone who will stick with him and someone he'll stick with....idk the scary thing is I could honestly see myself falling for him and that's exactly the type of guy I don't want to fall for, the guy who would break my heart again....Idk I feel so mixed up, I just feel like I really want someone there, but then again I obviously don't want just anyone....I just don't understand.....
No Valentines.....Niki....Sarah.....Mom.....everything's just getting to be too much.....
Idk I feel so strange right now, trivial things get up upset (which I know is udnerstandable but still it's obsessive). After making up a math test I hung out with Jods and Jay, and then Jessie came over...I enjoy spending that time with them, idk I get weird vibes when I'm around Jay. He's one of those guys that can be really amazing but also can be an ass....idk I see the good in him, just like I did in Jimmy, and it scares me. I see Jay and I just feel like he needs a "good girl" someone who will stick with him and someone he'll stick with....idk the scary thing is I could honestly see myself falling for him and that's exactly the type of guy I don't want to fall for, the guy who would break my heart again....Idk I feel so mixed up, I just feel like I really want someone there, but then again I obviously don't want just anyone....I just don't understand.....
No Valentines.....Niki....Sarah.....Mom.....everything's just getting to be too much.....