Oh my God. :') Honestly, when I logged into LJ this morning I never would have expected to find such an amazing, amazing comment in my inbox. I'm still reeling-you should see the size of my (admittedly slightly tearful) grin right now!! Just, thank you so, so, so much for saying so many kind things about my story. I was so nervous about posting it because there were so many things that I wasn't quite sure about, and just now you've pretty much reassured me about every single one of them!
I'm so, so happy to hear that my portrayal of the knights worked for you, I was a little worried because I felt like other writers just wrote them differently, you know? So I wasn't sure if people would like "my" version of them, specifically Gwaine. Oh, Gwaine. You wouldn't believe how much I angsted about his character and whether I was pulling him off right (no pun intended)! But you're right-I also felt like there was more to him than met the eye. I'm so glad that he made you laugh so often, because I giggled quite often while writing his scenes too, and I'm just... so relieved that the development of his character rang true to you. Especially with his challenge, I felt like I was straddling the thin line between overdoing his fear (and later his shame) and not showing it enough-I kind of wanted to mingle his character with that of Gawain from Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. It makes me beyond happy to hear that that worked for you!! ♥
Leon is pretty much my favorite knight ever, so I included him whenever I could! I think my beta was a bit sad about that, because she's a more of a Lancelot girl, but she let me obsess over Leon without complaint. :D He's just so steadfastly loyal, in a quiet, unremarkable way that doesn't need fanfares and fame to work. I just really love him a lot, and of course I'm really glad that you liked him too!
About Arthur-writing him was slightly weird at first, because when I started this fic I never thought it would focus on him as much as it ended up doing. I thought it would be mostly about Gwaine and his journey, especially because I felt like Arthur kept taking a step forward and then two steps back, only to leap forward three more steps right after, and so on. XD I was really scared that people wouldn't like that, that they'd sit there and think, just get a grip and accept that magic isn't evil, or something along those lines. (I mean... it felt like the real, honest way to write him, but whenever something feels so right to me I immediately worry that it feels wrong to everyone else!) Honestly, I teared up a little at what you wrote about him. You wouldn't believe how happy it makes me to hear that his character worked for you and that you think I did a good job despite all the worrying I've been doing!
I think the Arthur/Merlin relationship was probably the one thing I didn't fret about whenever I couldn't sleep at night! xD Granted, there are a lot of things that they didn't talk about in this fic-things that they still need to discuss at some point-but I kind of wanted to end it that way. I didn't want them to talk about everything and drag every single secret out in the open, that would have felt weird and unrealistic to me. I'm just so overjoyed that you liked the way I wrote them so much!! ♥
Arthur/Gwen was a bit of a tricky one for me to resolve-I thought that maybe I hadn't touched upon that subject enough, that they might need more of a closure than what I gave them. But I didn't know how to work in more about them, especially with everything else that was going on, so I left it at that in the end. When I first saw you mention them, my heart leaped into my throat because I thought you were going to say that you were dissatisfied with my portrayal of the end of their relationship, and then I was really relieved and happy that you complimented it instead! ♥
tl;dr Thank you so, so much for this fantastic comment. It made my day and the rest of my week and quite possibly the next month as well. I already know it'll be one of those comments that I reread whenever I feel down about my writing. :D Thank you so much!! *hugs!*
LOL, this reply sure is long! Sorry for rambling! ♥
I'm so glad my comment made you happy; I feel leaving small essays is the least I can do in return when I read a particularly brilliant story. ;D
It's funny you mentioned the 'everyone writes the knights differently' thing, because people do. I think that has a lot to do with what little we've been given to work with, and also with people's varying creativity and imagination. It seems everyone has the same basics to work with (Percy's quiet and strong, Gwaine drinks a lot and has lovely hair, etc.), but it's what people do beyond the little things the show has given us that shows their take on the characters, and your take on them rang very true to me.
I think you did a fantastic job mingling Gwaine with Gawain. I recognized the show's version in this Gwaine, but you managed to add a little extra something that made me believe in him as a person. And he can be incredibly angsty, I think. Just that small sad glance at the ground after Arthur and Merlin ride off without him at the end of 3x08 is enough to make me see he doesn't want to be lonely anymore, that he doesn't just drink his way through life. I was also glad he chose to live in your story, because while nobility in Knights is amazing, obviously, every human being has hopes and dreams and fears, and they'd probably look like robots if they didn't think twice before sacrificing their lives for what they believe in. Heroes without flaws are incredibly boring, IMO. So no worries there. Gwaine's decision and his shame as he went through with it made the story realistic.
I was pretty 'meh' about Sir Leon during S2, but he grew on me somewhere during S3 and now I love him in all his S2 episodes as well. I had to get used to his quiet presence in the background, I guess. ;D I like the way you describe him (loyal without fanfares and fame); that's exactly why he's such a loveable character, I think.
I felt like Arthur kept taking a step forward and then two steps back, only to leap forward three more steps right after, and so on.
Ah, you mean like the character on the show? ;D Honestly, the writers mess with his character development so badly that I sometimes wonder why he is my favorite character at all. The bad moments must be so bad that the good ones make him look particularly good.
In all seriousness, Arthur's struggle with Merlin's identity was very well-written. It was realistic (there I go, using that word again) that things weren't back to normal between them after one conversation, and I loved that even that first conversation between them didn't happen after two paragraphs (or chapters, come to think about it). I also loved that things still weren't the same between them at the end of the fic. That gives them something to work with, and we all know that when they're done with these issues, there will be others to replace them. Relationships are like that, and Arthur's such a stubborn, arrogant fool who tries so very hard at the same time that I wouldn't have them any other way! They need each other, but people can't know everything about each other; everyone keeps secret from their loved ones, and so do Merlin and Arthur -- especially Merlin and Arthur. Arthur's struggle with Merlin's "betrayal" made for an interesting read, and I understood both boys' insecurities and fears and never once felt like hitting one of them in the head for being so stupid because they were doing the best they could with the toold they'd been given (though I did share Gwaine's desire to lock them up in a room together).
I'm thrilled and pleased my comment apparently makes you feel better about your writing! I feel slightly stupid now for not realizing who you were before, but I just found out you also wrote "40 Days and 40 Fights" and went 'of course she did' because that one made me love (and emphatize with) the characters just as much. You give them so many layers! And your choice of words is such a delight. Your style is detailed, but not too detailed; the descriptions add to the dialogue and don't take anything away from the intensity of the scene. It's incredible.
I'm off to re-read "40 Days" now because I fell in love all over again.
Oh, and don't ever apologize for rambling. I'm quite good at that myself, haha! :D
That's really just the best experience you can ever get as a writer, I think-having people tell you exactly what they liked in a fic. :D I try to do that as often as possible too, because I know firsthand how helpful it is and what a long way it goes towards bolstering a writer's self-confidence!
Haha, yeah-I absolutely agree, heroes without flaws are boring and no fun to watch/read about! I've always found the use of the theme of failure so interesting in SGGK, because, well, it's Gawain who fails, who is basically a shining example of moral perfection and chivalry throughout Arthurian literature. I can't wait to write my BA thesis about the poem next year. :D I think Gawain ended up being a lot more ashamed than Gwaine was, but I think that it would be easier for Gwaine to accept his faults in the end because he knows he has them. I mean, in the show, we don't really see him trying to live up to a high moral standard, do we? xD Which of course doesn't mean that he doesn't have one, just that he's probably more aware of the fact that at the end of the day, honesty and chivalry are just ideals that you can't live up to all the time!
Also, yay Leon!! :D I think I didn't even really notice Leon at all until Beauty and the Beast, but then it was pretty much love at first sight. LOL And you're absolutely right, he is very loveable-I don't think I've ever encountered anyone bashing him or even saying they generally dislike him! ♥
Watch me try not to jump up and down with excitement about everything you wrote about Arthur and Merlin! :D I just felt like nodding along to every single word you said. That's exactly how I see them too, and how I tried to write them-I didn't want things to be okay after 1-2 conversations, and I also didn't want everything to be fine and dandy at the end of the fic. I just wanted their reconciliation to be real, I guess, and honest as well. I still remember what a struggle that was to really work my way through that instead of taking the easy way out, letting them have sex, and resetting everything back to normal right after. I had no idea whether people would want to read something that didn't take that road, but another, rockier, more winding one. And I'm just so glad that you recognize that as exactly what I meant it to be!! ♥
And yes, yes, your comments absolutely do make me feel better about my writing!! :D I'm so, so glad that you liked '40 Days and 40 Fights' too-yet another fic I used to feel really nervous about, notice the pattern? xD And honestly, I am so relieved at what you said about my style. :D People have told me in the past (and I've been fretting about it too sometimes) that I use too many details and descriptions-okay, maybe I've cut down on it a little over time, but with 'The Ivy Crown' I really felt like there was no other way for me to tell this story. I couldn't have wrapped it up within 50k, as much as I sometimes wished to (and now I'm glad I didn't xD). So, thank you, again, for encouraging me so much in such a kind, thoughtful way!! <3 ♥♥ (Also, I love rambling and having other people ramble back at me!! :D)
I'm so, so happy to hear that my portrayal of the knights worked for you, I was a little worried because I felt like other writers just wrote them differently, you know? So I wasn't sure if people would like "my" version of them, specifically Gwaine. Oh, Gwaine. You wouldn't believe how much I angsted about his character and whether I was pulling him off right (no pun intended)! But you're right-I also felt like there was more to him than met the eye. I'm so glad that he made you laugh so often, because I giggled quite often while writing his scenes too, and I'm just... so relieved that the development of his character rang true to you. Especially with his challenge, I felt like I was straddling the thin line between overdoing his fear (and later his shame) and not showing it enough-I kind of wanted to mingle his character with that of Gawain from Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. It makes me beyond happy to hear that that worked for you!! ♥
Leon is pretty much my favorite knight ever, so I included him whenever I could! I think my beta was a bit sad about that, because she's a more of a Lancelot girl, but she let me obsess over Leon without complaint. :D He's just so steadfastly loyal, in a quiet, unremarkable way that doesn't need fanfares and fame to work. I just really love him a lot, and of course I'm really glad that you liked him too!
About Arthur-writing him was slightly weird at first, because when I started this fic I never thought it would focus on him as much as it ended up doing. I thought it would be mostly about Gwaine and his journey, especially because I felt like Arthur kept taking a step forward and then two steps back, only to leap forward three more steps right after, and so on. XD I was really scared that people wouldn't like that, that they'd sit there and think, just get a grip and accept that magic isn't evil, or something along those lines. (I mean... it felt like the real, honest way to write him, but whenever something feels so right to me I immediately worry that it feels wrong to everyone else!) Honestly, I teared up a little at what you wrote about him. You wouldn't believe how happy it makes me to hear that his character worked for you and that you think I did a good job despite all the worrying I've been doing!
I think the Arthur/Merlin relationship was probably the one thing I didn't fret about whenever I couldn't sleep at night! xD Granted, there are a lot of things that they didn't talk about in this fic-things that they still need to discuss at some point-but I kind of wanted to end it that way. I didn't want them to talk about everything and drag every single secret out in the open, that would have felt weird and unrealistic to me. I'm just so overjoyed that you liked the way I wrote them so much!! ♥
Arthur/Gwen was a bit of a tricky one for me to resolve-I thought that maybe I hadn't touched upon that subject enough, that they might need more of a closure than what I gave them. But I didn't know how to work in more about them, especially with everything else that was going on, so I left it at that in the end. When I first saw you mention them, my heart leaped into my throat because I thought you were going to say that you were dissatisfied with my portrayal of the end of their relationship, and then I was really relieved and happy that you complimented it instead! ♥
tl;dr Thank you so, so much for this fantastic comment. It made my day and the rest of my week and quite possibly the next month as well. I already know it'll be one of those comments that I reread whenever I feel down about my writing. :D Thank you so much!! *hugs!*
LOL, this reply sure is long! Sorry for rambling! ♥
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It's funny you mentioned the 'everyone writes the knights differently' thing, because people do. I think that has a lot to do with what little we've been given to work with, and also with people's varying creativity and imagination. It seems everyone has the same basics to work with (Percy's quiet and strong, Gwaine drinks a lot and has lovely hair, etc.), but it's what people do beyond the little things the show has given us that shows their take on the characters, and your take on them rang very true to me.
I think you did a fantastic job mingling Gwaine with Gawain. I recognized the show's version in this Gwaine, but you managed to add a little extra something that made me believe in him as a person. And he can be incredibly angsty, I think. Just that small sad glance at the ground after Arthur and Merlin ride off without him at the end of 3x08 is enough to make me see he doesn't want to be lonely anymore, that he doesn't just drink his way through life. I was also glad he chose to live in your story, because while nobility in Knights is amazing, obviously, every human being has hopes and dreams and fears, and they'd probably look like robots if they didn't think twice before sacrificing their lives for what they believe in. Heroes without flaws are incredibly boring, IMO. So no worries there. Gwaine's decision and his shame as he went through with it made the story realistic.
I was pretty 'meh' about Sir Leon during S2, but he grew on me somewhere during S3 and now I love him in all his S2 episodes as well. I had to get used to his quiet presence in the background, I guess. ;D I like the way you describe him (loyal without fanfares and fame); that's exactly why he's such a loveable character, I think.
I felt like Arthur kept taking a step forward and then two steps back, only to leap forward three more steps right after, and so on.
Ah, you mean like the character on the show? ;D Honestly, the writers mess with his character development so badly that I sometimes wonder why he is my favorite character at all. The bad moments must be so bad that the good ones make him look particularly good.
In all seriousness, Arthur's struggle with Merlin's identity was very well-written. It was realistic (there I go, using that word again) that things weren't back to normal between them after one conversation, and I loved that even that first conversation between them didn't happen after two paragraphs (or chapters, come to think about it). I also loved that things still weren't the same between them at the end of the fic. That gives them something to work with, and we all know that when they're done with these issues, there will be others to replace them. Relationships are like that, and Arthur's such a stubborn, arrogant fool who tries so very hard at the same time that I wouldn't have them any other way! They need each other, but people can't know everything about each other; everyone keeps secret from their loved ones, and so do Merlin and Arthur -- especially Merlin and Arthur. Arthur's struggle with Merlin's "betrayal" made for an interesting read, and I understood both boys' insecurities and fears and never once felt like hitting one of them in the head for being so stupid because they were doing the best they could with the toold they'd been given (though I did share Gwaine's desire to lock them up in a room together).
I'm thrilled and pleased my comment apparently makes you feel better about your writing! I feel slightly stupid now for not realizing who you were before, but I just found out you also wrote "40 Days and 40 Fights" and went 'of course she did' because that one made me love (and emphatize with) the characters just as much. You give them so many layers! And your choice of words is such a delight. Your style is detailed, but not too detailed; the descriptions add to the dialogue and don't take anything away from the intensity of the scene. It's incredible.
I'm off to re-read "40 Days" now because I fell in love all over again.
Oh, and don't ever apologize for rambling. I'm quite good at that myself, haha! :D
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Haha, yeah-I absolutely agree, heroes without flaws are boring and no fun to watch/read about! I've always found the use of the theme of failure so interesting in SGGK, because, well, it's Gawain who fails, who is basically a shining example of moral perfection and chivalry throughout Arthurian literature. I can't wait to write my BA thesis about the poem next year. :D I think Gawain ended up being a lot more ashamed than Gwaine was, but I think that it would be easier for Gwaine to accept his faults in the end because he knows he has them. I mean, in the show, we don't really see him trying to live up to a high moral standard, do we? xD Which of course doesn't mean that he doesn't have one, just that he's probably more aware of the fact that at the end of the day, honesty and chivalry are just ideals that you can't live up to all the time!
Also, yay Leon!! :D I think I didn't even really notice Leon at all until Beauty and the Beast, but then it was pretty much love at first sight. LOL And you're absolutely right, he is very loveable-I don't think I've ever encountered anyone bashing him or even saying they generally dislike him! ♥
Watch me try not to jump up and down with excitement about everything you wrote about Arthur and Merlin! :D I just felt like nodding along to every single word you said. That's exactly how I see them too, and how I tried to write them-I didn't want things to be okay after 1-2 conversations, and I also didn't want everything to be fine and dandy at the end of the fic. I just wanted their reconciliation to be real, I guess, and honest as well. I still remember what a struggle that was to really work my way through that instead of taking the easy way out, letting them have sex, and resetting everything back to normal right after. I had no idea whether people would want to read something that didn't take that road, but another, rockier, more winding one. And I'm just so glad that you recognize that as exactly what I meant it to be!! ♥
And yes, yes, your comments absolutely do make me feel better about my writing!! :D I'm so, so glad that you liked '40 Days and 40 Fights' too-yet another fic I used to feel really nervous about, notice the pattern? xD And honestly, I am so relieved at what you said about my style. :D People have told me in the past (and I've been fretting about it too sometimes) that I use too many details and descriptions-okay, maybe I've cut down on it a little over time, but with 'The Ivy Crown' I really felt like there was no other way for me to tell this story. I couldn't have wrapped it up within 50k, as much as I sometimes wished to (and now I'm glad I didn't xD). So, thank you, again, for encouraging me so much in such a kind, thoughtful way!! <3 ♥♥ (Also, I love rambling and having other people ramble back at me!! :D)
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