Texas
Texas sucks.
The entire state is a gigantic suburban hell. Their "cities" are just suburbs with tall buildings, set on a plain of flat ugly wasteland. Everything in Texas has a giant neon Denny's-style sign, the "good" restaurants, the bad (!) restaurants, everything. The average residential street is a 14 lane freeway, with packed asshole traffic 24 hours a day.
Everyone in Texas tailgates. I think there must be a state law. Safe following distance? Hell no. Blinkers? Not a chance. The roads are as awful as they are huge, and every mile has a new giant construction project paid for with Bush money stolen from blue states. Live out in the middle of nowhere with an Applebees as the best dining in 50 miles? Hell yes you need an elevated roadway with concrete Texas stars on every pylon!
Cars? Cars aren't allowed in Texas. You have to drive a giant SUV, or better yet a gleaming Ford F350 with a bunch of Bush stickers, which has never seen mud and never goes more than three days without a car wash. Why a huge Ford truck? Because it only seats two, of course. Damn pansies, only liberals would cram more than 2 people in a car!
A special note for motorcycles: Hardly anyone rides bikes in Texas. The whole state is full of sissies who can't handle a machine like that. The few who do ride are mostly teenage morons, who don't even wear leathers and seldom wear a helmet.
Oh yes, the food. The food is crap. It's all gigantic theme restaurants serving three flavors of steak, with a giant neon sign flashing, "We have the bestestest steak in town!" How much talent does it take to brush on a glop of generic steak sauce and then toss a slab of dead cow on a hot rack? Oh, yeah, zero. Which pretty much describes the state.
On the upside, the newspaper in Crawford, Texas (Bush's "home" town) endorsed Kerry.
The entire state is a gigantic suburban hell. Their "cities" are just suburbs with tall buildings, set on a plain of flat ugly wasteland. Everything in Texas has a giant neon Denny's-style sign, the "good" restaurants, the bad (!) restaurants, everything. The average residential street is a 14 lane freeway, with packed asshole traffic 24 hours a day.
Everyone in Texas tailgates. I think there must be a state law. Safe following distance? Hell no. Blinkers? Not a chance. The roads are as awful as they are huge, and every mile has a new giant construction project paid for with Bush money stolen from blue states. Live out in the middle of nowhere with an Applebees as the best dining in 50 miles? Hell yes you need an elevated roadway with concrete Texas stars on every pylon!
Cars? Cars aren't allowed in Texas. You have to drive a giant SUV, or better yet a gleaming Ford F350 with a bunch of Bush stickers, which has never seen mud and never goes more than three days without a car wash. Why a huge Ford truck? Because it only seats two, of course. Damn pansies, only liberals would cram more than 2 people in a car!
A special note for motorcycles: Hardly anyone rides bikes in Texas. The whole state is full of sissies who can't handle a machine like that. The few who do ride are mostly teenage morons, who don't even wear leathers and seldom wear a helmet.
Oh yes, the food. The food is crap. It's all gigantic theme restaurants serving three flavors of steak, with a giant neon sign flashing, "We have the bestestest steak in town!" How much talent does it take to brush on a glop of generic steak sauce and then toss a slab of dead cow on a hot rack? Oh, yeah, zero. Which pretty much describes the state.
On the upside, the newspaper in Crawford, Texas (Bush's "home" town) endorsed Kerry.