Shoo bop, ba doo...
YEESH. People seem to love toying with my emotions this week. First with the whole William thing. And just today, he followed me into the high school building when I went upstairs to my locker(he didn't follow me after I went upstairs), and when I came back, he was standing at the bottom, as if waiting for me. I was really hoping he wasn't. I also really wasn't expecting it...yet really hoping it wouldn't happen. But it did. So we had to talk outside for some time while we waited for our parents. His dad came first. Mom had been told by Samantha that we were going to arrange the carnations for Monday, but it turned out that they had already been done, so we could go on home, and I had to wait for-freaking-ever for mom. It was really really really cold and really really really windy. I didn't feel like going inside, because its always so stuffy inside the hallways. Although, this gave me the opportunity to tell him something.
And just what is that something? Well, it has to do with another person playing with my emotions. You know Scott? Holly's crush? Her date last week when we all went out? Well, yesterday, Holly and Scott and William were all talking about what William and I were going to do about going out. Holly and Scott promised not to tell William that I didn't want to go out with him, because I wanted to be the one, so they told him that I just wanted to go with William to the dance as "friends". Well, anyway, after everyone was finished talking about it, Scott IMs me. My exact thoughts: "Oh, no...he's gonna talk to me about William and how sad he might be...or something along those lines...I just know it..." Apparently I didn't know it. He brought up a totally different subject. His exact words:
"Taylor, will you go out with me?"
I was so stunned. I wasn't expecting that at all. He had had a girl of his own, but they had decided to be friends, and then Holly decided she didn't like him all that much because of his indecision towards which girls he wants, and so many thoughts were running through my head at that moment, and I couldn't think, and I was just in a sudden state of shock. I mean, I really wonder just WHY he asked me out. We barely talk, and the most recent time we actually did something together/talked together was the date. But he went as Holly's date. So that made me feel really bad. I didn't want to say yes without Holly's approval. But then again, I didn't want to say yes at all because of -him-. But...I don't know. Holly said it was alright with her. I mean, I do like him...well, more now than ever, of course. He just has that way with him. That stupid sonofabitch way of making someone like him. Stupid Scott and his charms... Damn him! How dare he make me like him! Its almost like he knew how easily I fall in love! He asked me out online. What is it with people asking me out online? Argh. He signed off before he could give me a chance to respond, and so I wanted to respond today, and when I finally had the chance, the words wouldn't come out. Damn them.
Today.... Today, when I was coming up the stairs to the Freshman hallway, about halfway up, I heard Scott's voice. I nearly tripped. It felt as if my heart was having the life choked out of it. Nervous..yes. Very. As I neared the top, he called my name and motioned for me to come over. So I did, and he had been talking to someone else when I came, so I waited until he was finished. When he was, he turned to me and said, "Hm? Go on in." (He was holding the door open for me.) So, I shrugged a little and started inside. I took two steps and found I was being held back by my book bag. He pulled me back to look me in the eye, a little too fast, and I had to grab onto the door. He noticed this, and asked, "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" I gave a shy, "No.." and he nodded and sent me on my way. I almost dashed away, and then my steps slowed down, and my body began to sway from side to side, a huge grin on my face, my heart light. I waited outside of the math room for my teacher to return from wherever she was to unlock the door, but I didn't care. I was too happy to care. Then Holly came down the hallway and noticed that I was still swaying even while I was leaning against the wall, and asked, "...What are you doing?" "Swaying..." "Are you happy?" "Yes..." "Are you and Scott going together?" My smile and swaying faded as she asked this. I told her no, and told her what happened. Then I became frustrated, saying most of the things that I said in the beginning of this entry. "How dare he! How dare he! How dare he make me like him!" She laughed at this, of course... Then during Math, we passed a note. We sit next to each other, so it wasn't that hard. She basically told me to go for him if I wanted him, and that he was certainly a better choice than William(no argument there), but to be careful..I think. Something like that. We also doodled on the note(I doodled my chibi self getting stabbed with a katana, saying, "This is killing me!", and she drew a more realistic animeish person stabbing herself with a "*Stab* XD" next to it. It was funny.) But yeah... I don't know what to do. My emotions are all in a mix. My thoughts are all in a jumble. I can't think straight, I don't act like myself, and now I have a migrain. Great.
Okay...too much writing. My fingers are numb from the 33 degree weather. No heat down here, so the users of this computer have to suffer. :/
Later.
PLEASE COMMENT.
-Taylor
And just what is that something? Well, it has to do with another person playing with my emotions. You know Scott? Holly's crush? Her date last week when we all went out? Well, yesterday, Holly and Scott and William were all talking about what William and I were going to do about going out. Holly and Scott promised not to tell William that I didn't want to go out with him, because I wanted to be the one, so they told him that I just wanted to go with William to the dance as "friends". Well, anyway, after everyone was finished talking about it, Scott IMs me. My exact thoughts: "Oh, no...he's gonna talk to me about William and how sad he might be...or something along those lines...I just know it..." Apparently I didn't know it. He brought up a totally different subject. His exact words:
"Taylor, will you go out with me?"
I was so stunned. I wasn't expecting that at all. He had had a girl of his own, but they had decided to be friends, and then Holly decided she didn't like him all that much because of his indecision towards which girls he wants, and so many thoughts were running through my head at that moment, and I couldn't think, and I was just in a sudden state of shock. I mean, I really wonder just WHY he asked me out. We barely talk, and the most recent time we actually did something together/talked together was the date. But he went as Holly's date. So that made me feel really bad. I didn't want to say yes without Holly's approval. But then again, I didn't want to say yes at all because of -him-. But...I don't know. Holly said it was alright with her. I mean, I do like him...well, more now than ever, of course. He just has that way with him. That stupid sonofabitch way of making someone like him. Stupid Scott and his charms... Damn him! How dare he make me like him! Its almost like he knew how easily I fall in love! He asked me out online. What is it with people asking me out online? Argh. He signed off before he could give me a chance to respond, and so I wanted to respond today, and when I finally had the chance, the words wouldn't come out. Damn them.
Today.... Today, when I was coming up the stairs to the Freshman hallway, about halfway up, I heard Scott's voice. I nearly tripped. It felt as if my heart was having the life choked out of it. Nervous..yes. Very. As I neared the top, he called my name and motioned for me to come over. So I did, and he had been talking to someone else when I came, so I waited until he was finished. When he was, he turned to me and said, "Hm? Go on in." (He was holding the door open for me.) So, I shrugged a little and started inside. I took two steps and found I was being held back by my book bag. He pulled me back to look me in the eye, a little too fast, and I had to grab onto the door. He noticed this, and asked, "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" I gave a shy, "No.." and he nodded and sent me on my way. I almost dashed away, and then my steps slowed down, and my body began to sway from side to side, a huge grin on my face, my heart light. I waited outside of the math room for my teacher to return from wherever she was to unlock the door, but I didn't care. I was too happy to care. Then Holly came down the hallway and noticed that I was still swaying even while I was leaning against the wall, and asked, "...What are you doing?" "Swaying..." "Are you happy?" "Yes..." "Are you and Scott going together?" My smile and swaying faded as she asked this. I told her no, and told her what happened. Then I became frustrated, saying most of the things that I said in the beginning of this entry. "How dare he! How dare he! How dare he make me like him!" She laughed at this, of course... Then during Math, we passed a note. We sit next to each other, so it wasn't that hard. She basically told me to go for him if I wanted him, and that he was certainly a better choice than William(no argument there), but to be careful..I think. Something like that. We also doodled on the note(I doodled my chibi self getting stabbed with a katana, saying, "This is killing me!", and she drew a more realistic animeish person stabbing herself with a "*Stab* XD" next to it. It was funny.) But yeah... I don't know what to do. My emotions are all in a mix. My thoughts are all in a jumble. I can't think straight, I don't act like myself, and now I have a migrain. Great.
Okay...too much writing. My fingers are numb from the 33 degree weather. No heat down here, so the users of this computer have to suffer. :/
Later.
PLEASE COMMENT.
-Taylor