Tired
And to think, I thought February would be better. But so far, it's been hell. School has me tired and stressed out. No Pell for books [since I registered late, which wasn't my fuckin' fault], so I have to buy books with MY money. 70 bucks for a 200 page Philosophy book!? What a fuckin' ripoff! And Speech class every other morning...that's gonna be such a delight giving speeches to my fellow classmates half-asleep. Yeah, I see myself doing GREAT this semester.
I still have this annoying cough, which has been giving me headaches everyday, even though I take both Tylenol [Extra Strength] and cough medicine for it. Add drugged to stressed out and tiredness, and you know how I feel right now. I think I might be getting addicted to all the medication, as much as I take it now. I can't concentrate on anything but sleep. And I can't even do that. God must really love me. It's even affected my writing. I've noticed so many stupid typos in the last episode of Dtv, that it pisses me off. I even forgot to add in the conclusion to a certain angle I had began in that very episode [the Death Pool angle]! Now I have to finish it in the next one [if there is a next one, and I'll get to that later]. That's what happens when your mind is somewhere else and you try to finish a story. Don't ever write something when distracted with other things. Lack of concentration makes you look stupid and foolish. For anyone who read that Dtv episode [ya know, those who actually DO read it, send me feedback, and don't delete?] and notices the stupid mistakes, I apologize. That episode isn't me. That was my shadow writing. You guys who read my stuff deserved better than that. I'll make sure the next one is 10x better than that piece of crap called "Family Portrait [284]".
Speaking of Dtv, I'm thinking about just ending it next episode. Why? Because I don't think anyone cares about it anymore. People who I think are my friends and would be interested in what I like to do for fun just delete all 5 parts to the episode without a care. One person in particular who wanted a character on the show really pissed me off. Now that character won't be on Dtv, because I'm not wasting my time with a new character I have no interest in anymore. If you don't want to read what I write, send me an "Unsubscribe" email, or just opening it would be better than flat out deleting it. I dunno, I wish I could do something more to make people want to read my shit. I mean, I like writing Dtv and I enjoy people asking me when it's gonna come out or exchanging emails with Romeo about stuff we're gonna do in our respective e-dramas. But is there any point to it now? I know like 3 of you [and you know who u guys are] still care about what I do. I might seem selfish, but I want more people to care about it too. This is what I want to do as a career. I want to be a screenwriter. But if people don't want to be entertained by my words, then is my dream just a dream? Am I a failure? I dunno, I'm still deciding whether to just stop or keep going. I hate feeling like this.
Ya know what else bothers me? This whole Janet Jackson "breast exposed" topic. Really, enough is enough. Who the fuck cares anymore? She showed her tit on national TV in front of millions. It was a breast, people! All women have them. Was it staged? Could care less if it was or not. It happened. Get over it. Banning her from the Grammys, using tape delays on every award show, and cutting out bits of episodes from certain shows because they show a butt cheek or a peek of a breast isn't going to solve the problem or make it go away. Janet Jackson made a goof. She's human, no matter what her last name is. She didn't show anyone what they hadn't seen before! When showing your tit is the biggest headline on every newspaper, this country is in deep shit. But none of you care. I'm probably just wasting my time even writing this entry. Maybe I should just stop all writing for everyone and just write for myself. Or just stop completely. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day for me to think clearly. All I know is that I'm tired and I'm going to bed [like any of you care].
I still have this annoying cough, which has been giving me headaches everyday, even though I take both Tylenol [Extra Strength] and cough medicine for it. Add drugged to stressed out and tiredness, and you know how I feel right now. I think I might be getting addicted to all the medication, as much as I take it now. I can't concentrate on anything but sleep. And I can't even do that. God must really love me. It's even affected my writing. I've noticed so many stupid typos in the last episode of Dtv, that it pisses me off. I even forgot to add in the conclusion to a certain angle I had began in that very episode [the Death Pool angle]! Now I have to finish it in the next one [if there is a next one, and I'll get to that later]. That's what happens when your mind is somewhere else and you try to finish a story. Don't ever write something when distracted with other things. Lack of concentration makes you look stupid and foolish. For anyone who read that Dtv episode [ya know, those who actually DO read it, send me feedback, and don't delete?] and notices the stupid mistakes, I apologize. That episode isn't me. That was my shadow writing. You guys who read my stuff deserved better than that. I'll make sure the next one is 10x better than that piece of crap called "Family Portrait [284]".
Speaking of Dtv, I'm thinking about just ending it next episode. Why? Because I don't think anyone cares about it anymore. People who I think are my friends and would be interested in what I like to do for fun just delete all 5 parts to the episode without a care. One person in particular who wanted a character on the show really pissed me off. Now that character won't be on Dtv, because I'm not wasting my time with a new character I have no interest in anymore. If you don't want to read what I write, send me an "Unsubscribe" email, or just opening it would be better than flat out deleting it. I dunno, I wish I could do something more to make people want to read my shit. I mean, I like writing Dtv and I enjoy people asking me when it's gonna come out or exchanging emails with Romeo about stuff we're gonna do in our respective e-dramas. But is there any point to it now? I know like 3 of you [and you know who u guys are] still care about what I do. I might seem selfish, but I want more people to care about it too. This is what I want to do as a career. I want to be a screenwriter. But if people don't want to be entertained by my words, then is my dream just a dream? Am I a failure? I dunno, I'm still deciding whether to just stop or keep going. I hate feeling like this.
Ya know what else bothers me? This whole Janet Jackson "breast exposed" topic. Really, enough is enough. Who the fuck cares anymore? She showed her tit on national TV in front of millions. It was a breast, people! All women have them. Was it staged? Could care less if it was or not. It happened. Get over it. Banning her from the Grammys, using tape delays on every award show, and cutting out bits of episodes from certain shows because they show a butt cheek or a peek of a breast isn't going to solve the problem or make it go away. Janet Jackson made a goof. She's human, no matter what her last name is. She didn't show anyone what they hadn't seen before! When showing your tit is the biggest headline on every newspaper, this country is in deep shit. But none of you care. I'm probably just wasting my time even writing this entry. Maybe I should just stop all writing for everyone and just write for myself. Or just stop completely. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day for me to think clearly. All I know is that I'm tired and I'm going to bed [like any of you care].