waste of time
yoga lesson i am still learning--this was what i came to meditate about at the end of my savasana this evening.
it's okay to "waste time" on myself. i need to stop feeling guilty about time i spend doing things for myself. not that yoga is a waste of my time, but i always feel guilty that other indulgences are a waste of time. why do i feel that way? i shouldn't.
i'm talking things like reading a book when i should be cleaning the dishes. or job hunting. or writing.
or watching Tom and Jerry cartoons (which are my absolute favourite and the 'oldies' are on every day from 1-2 but i don't let myself watch A WHOLE HOUR because that would be a waste of time so i just watch them while i eat.
or watching a whole movie. i see parts of movies that i already know ... but i don't start many new movies when i am by myself because i don't want to commit to a whole thing. that's a ... waste of time i don't want to devote.
or talking to a friend without also emptying the dishwasher and cleaning the kitchen counter.
case in point: painting my nails. i hate wasting time painting my nails and then having to SIT THERE and let them dry. you can't touch anything; you can't DO anything, and then if they chip you get all mad. (and no one but me sees my feet anyway because i have socks on almost all the time.)
but then i DID paint my toenails for the fun of it and my forward folds and lunges in yoga class make me really happy when i see my painty toes. so there is that. ... it always comes back to yoga.
i can't just indulge myself and not also be productive.
yoga is one of the few places i allow myself to just be me and indulge myself and it feels great. why do i feel so guilty doing it at other times?
why can't i just "waste" an afternoon reading a book? i let myself read a little but then i feel must get up and do something "useful". or i'll "just read a little before bed" because otherwise i feel i am "wasting time." where did this come from?
it's not because i am between jobs--that is only highlighting it. i see TWD reading a book and he seems okay "doing nothing" and he watches way-hay-hay more movies than i do. but then i think "he should be helping me do this laundry or something because this laundry needs done."
ugh. what a boring person i am! i am wasting all that time being annoyingly productive. ;P
okay. entry done. back to writing. which i love, actually. my story arc and my characters are taking shape. i can't get them out of my head now!!!
i should take a lesson from yoga and enjoy the thing i am doing while i am doing it.
Crosspost from http://dawntreader.dreamwidth.org/2038895.html. There are
comments.
it's okay to "waste time" on myself. i need to stop feeling guilty about time i spend doing things for myself. not that yoga is a waste of my time, but i always feel guilty that other indulgences are a waste of time. why do i feel that way? i shouldn't.
i'm talking things like reading a book when i should be cleaning the dishes. or job hunting. or writing.
or watching Tom and Jerry cartoons (which are my absolute favourite and the 'oldies' are on every day from 1-2 but i don't let myself watch A WHOLE HOUR because that would be a waste of time so i just watch them while i eat.
or watching a whole movie. i see parts of movies that i already know ... but i don't start many new movies when i am by myself because i don't want to commit to a whole thing. that's a ... waste of time i don't want to devote.
or talking to a friend without also emptying the dishwasher and cleaning the kitchen counter.
case in point: painting my nails. i hate wasting time painting my nails and then having to SIT THERE and let them dry. you can't touch anything; you can't DO anything, and then if they chip you get all mad. (and no one but me sees my feet anyway because i have socks on almost all the time.)
but then i DID paint my toenails for the fun of it and my forward folds and lunges in yoga class make me really happy when i see my painty toes. so there is that. ... it always comes back to yoga.
i can't just indulge myself and not also be productive.
yoga is one of the few places i allow myself to just be me and indulge myself and it feels great. why do i feel so guilty doing it at other times?
why can't i just "waste" an afternoon reading a book? i let myself read a little but then i feel must get up and do something "useful". or i'll "just read a little before bed" because otherwise i feel i am "wasting time." where did this come from?
it's not because i am between jobs--that is only highlighting it. i see TWD reading a book and he seems okay "doing nothing" and he watches way-hay-hay more movies than i do. but then i think "he should be helping me do this laundry or something because this laundry needs done."
ugh. what a boring person i am! i am wasting all that time being annoyingly productive. ;P
okay. entry done. back to writing. which i love, actually. my story arc and my characters are taking shape. i can't get them out of my head now!!!
i should take a lesson from yoga and enjoy the thing i am doing while i am doing it.
Crosspost from http://dawntreader.dreamwidth.org/2038895.html. There are
comments.