i learned a lot of valuable lessons today
1. and that's why there are templates.
Work not-Boss wanted me to write him a document that my-Boss asked HIM to write. a document FOR THE TESTERS about test cases, test plans, etc. a high-level "what our testers are doing for this release cycle."
yeah. i don't do that. i document specifications. i don't write test plans. i'm not about to start now and set THAT kind of precedent.
he had some of our specs in his hand and said, "these are SO BIG. there's so much stuff in it. is there a way to trim them down? maybe you could write me a shorter document."
i said, "we have a template. in fact, we have a blank template for a specifications doc we didn't use."
"but i don't need that..."
"just rip out the sections you don't need. at least you'll have the coversheet and formatting that my-Boss (and your-Boss *ahem and you are not my boss*) wanted me to use. it's the IT department standard template."
"but there's too many sections. i don't need them all."
"so? don't use them. rename them to suit your purpose. fill in the information you want."
other employee in the room, "and that way all the documents look the same. it's more consistent that way and people know what to expect."
"yeah! good point. i hope this helped."
"uh. yeah. uh. yeah."
so. see what i did thar? YOU WRITE YOUR OWN DOCUMENT BUB. here's a handy template to get you started.
and that's why god (and by god in this case, i mean me) invented the template.
2. Tax Fraud can be fun!
the boring-sounding droning guy on the phone at the IRS sounded a lot less like a boring drone after i was done talking to him.
he needed to ask me a series of questions from the Question Aire (he said it in two parts like that--it made me chuckle and reminded me of the Planet Arium episode of South Park) before he could answer my direct question i was asking. sigh. nothing is ever a simple yes/no with the IRS.
anyway, i think it was the part where we he said, "i'm supposed to read you this next question to make sure you understand," and the question was at least 40 words long--one sentence. before he finished reading it, i burst into GIGGLES, recomposed myself and said, "i'm sorry. continue." he actually perked up after that. he even said, "yeah, there's a LOT of information packed into that one isn't there?" and HE chuckled. :)
after that (in the manner to which the IRS permits) he even joked around with me. he would say, "now, i already know the answer to this question, but i have to ask it anyway...." and stuff like that.
another question he asked me, i had to ask him to clarify. the question was "did you receive a refund in year ####?" i asked, "was that federal or state?" he said, "you know, it doesn't say! who writes these things? ... but i'm pretty sure they want to know..." and he finished asking. lol
anyway, it took about half an hour to get through the Question Aire to get the answer to my question. but we had a good time! he was so nice. he even walked me through the next steps which is also what i needed to know.
thankfully, i was able to look up my TurboTax records from 2009 and 2010 online while on the phone which was AWESOME because all my necessary paperwork is strewn all over the floor--at home, probably with cats on it. (Azrael was "helping me" yesterday--i have a picture of her sleeping on my tax papers.)
i admit, when it came down to divulging THE BIG MISTAKE OF 2010, i told him i was worried that i'd be in big trouble. "nawwww," he said. "there's no trouble. you're taking the steps to correct it yourself. the IRS didn't notify you, you're doing this all on your own, and you're filing the amended return as soon as you realized your mistake. you're good." plus, the form i have to file sounds ... easier than expected! i can even call back and someone will walk me through it.
all in all (aside from the Question Aire content that he didn't write) he was very helpful. he actually, sincerely thanked me at the end. then he said, "you know, i talk to a lot of people throughout the day. and you were *very* studious. i feel like you actually listened. was i able to answer your question today?" he had such a hopeful tone in his voice.
i laughed and told him i was a technical writer. i said i was taking notes the whole time so i would know what to do and YES he was very helpful. i found out exactly what i needed to know. "GOOD!" he said. "you have a nice day."
i said, "thank you! you have a nice day too." a nice thing to say about the IRS! huh. who knew it was possible?
i was probably being recorded, monitored, tapped, and IRS agents are on their way to arrest me for tax fraud, but hey. i had a nice time talking to the agent. ;)
3. Carrots are not Cheese curls.
there were a ton of freebie bags of chips in the break room. probably nearly expired chips, or excess chips that wouldn't fit in the snack machine. BUT WHOLE BUNCHES OF PEOPLE TOOK THEM. except one. the laaaaaast bag is a bag of Utz Cheese Curls. CHEESE CURLS AREN'T EVEN REAL FOOD!!! but they are delicious delicious non-food, dammit. (i swear lj user=faeriquene throws whole parties just to have an excuse to buy up bags of cheese curls and we sit around eating them.)
i resisted. i brought a snack from home. baby carrots. they're orange! they're crunchy! they're great-tasting! they are the same size even! they're like a non-fat, non-cheesy non-poofy version of cheese curls! they're EXACTLY THE SAME!!! see? (i said to myself.) ... only they're totally not the same.
i probably only want them because they're free. if they were in their home in the vending machine for 60 cents (or is it 75?) i wouldn't think twice or thrice about them.
stupid free cheese curls.
Crosspost from http://dawntreader.dreamwidth.org/1972402.html. There are
comments.
Work not-Boss wanted me to write him a document that my-Boss asked HIM to write. a document FOR THE TESTERS about test cases, test plans, etc. a high-level "what our testers are doing for this release cycle."
yeah. i don't do that. i document specifications. i don't write test plans. i'm not about to start now and set THAT kind of precedent.
he had some of our specs in his hand and said, "these are SO BIG. there's so much stuff in it. is there a way to trim them down? maybe you could write me a shorter document."
i said, "we have a template. in fact, we have a blank template for a specifications doc we didn't use."
"but i don't need that..."
"just rip out the sections you don't need. at least you'll have the coversheet and formatting that my-Boss (and your-Boss *ahem and you are not my boss*) wanted me to use. it's the IT department standard template."
"but there's too many sections. i don't need them all."
"so? don't use them. rename them to suit your purpose. fill in the information you want."
other employee in the room, "and that way all the documents look the same. it's more consistent that way and people know what to expect."
"yeah! good point. i hope this helped."
"uh. yeah. uh. yeah."
so. see what i did thar? YOU WRITE YOUR OWN DOCUMENT BUB. here's a handy template to get you started.
and that's why god (and by god in this case, i mean me) invented the template.
2. Tax Fraud can be fun!
the boring-sounding droning guy on the phone at the IRS sounded a lot less like a boring drone after i was done talking to him.
he needed to ask me a series of questions from the Question Aire (he said it in two parts like that--it made me chuckle and reminded me of the Planet Arium episode of South Park) before he could answer my direct question i was asking. sigh. nothing is ever a simple yes/no with the IRS.
anyway, i think it was the part where we he said, "i'm supposed to read you this next question to make sure you understand," and the question was at least 40 words long--one sentence. before he finished reading it, i burst into GIGGLES, recomposed myself and said, "i'm sorry. continue." he actually perked up after that. he even said, "yeah, there's a LOT of information packed into that one isn't there?" and HE chuckled. :)
after that (in the manner to which the IRS permits) he even joked around with me. he would say, "now, i already know the answer to this question, but i have to ask it anyway...." and stuff like that.
another question he asked me, i had to ask him to clarify. the question was "did you receive a refund in year ####?" i asked, "was that federal or state?" he said, "you know, it doesn't say! who writes these things? ... but i'm pretty sure they want to know..." and he finished asking. lol
anyway, it took about half an hour to get through the Question Aire to get the answer to my question. but we had a good time! he was so nice. he even walked me through the next steps which is also what i needed to know.
thankfully, i was able to look up my TurboTax records from 2009 and 2010 online while on the phone which was AWESOME because all my necessary paperwork is strewn all over the floor--at home, probably with cats on it. (Azrael was "helping me" yesterday--i have a picture of her sleeping on my tax papers.)
i admit, when it came down to divulging THE BIG MISTAKE OF 2010, i told him i was worried that i'd be in big trouble. "nawwww," he said. "there's no trouble. you're taking the steps to correct it yourself. the IRS didn't notify you, you're doing this all on your own, and you're filing the amended return as soon as you realized your mistake. you're good." plus, the form i have to file sounds ... easier than expected! i can even call back and someone will walk me through it.
all in all (aside from the Question Aire content that he didn't write) he was very helpful. he actually, sincerely thanked me at the end. then he said, "you know, i talk to a lot of people throughout the day. and you were *very* studious. i feel like you actually listened. was i able to answer your question today?" he had such a hopeful tone in his voice.
i laughed and told him i was a technical writer. i said i was taking notes the whole time so i would know what to do and YES he was very helpful. i found out exactly what i needed to know. "GOOD!" he said. "you have a nice day."
i said, "thank you! you have a nice day too." a nice thing to say about the IRS! huh. who knew it was possible?
i was probably being recorded, monitored, tapped, and IRS agents are on their way to arrest me for tax fraud, but hey. i had a nice time talking to the agent. ;)
3. Carrots are not Cheese curls.
there were a ton of freebie bags of chips in the break room. probably nearly expired chips, or excess chips that wouldn't fit in the snack machine. BUT WHOLE BUNCHES OF PEOPLE TOOK THEM. except one. the laaaaaast bag is a bag of Utz Cheese Curls. CHEESE CURLS AREN'T EVEN REAL FOOD!!! but they are delicious delicious non-food, dammit. (i swear lj user=faeriquene throws whole parties just to have an excuse to buy up bags of cheese curls and we sit around eating them.)
i resisted. i brought a snack from home. baby carrots. they're orange! they're crunchy! they're great-tasting! they are the same size even! they're like a non-fat, non-cheesy non-poofy version of cheese curls! they're EXACTLY THE SAME!!! see? (i said to myself.) ... only they're totally not the same.
i probably only want them because they're free. if they were in their home in the vending machine for 60 cents (or is it 75?) i wouldn't think twice or thrice about them.
stupid free cheese curls.
Crosspost from http://dawntreader.dreamwidth.org/1972402.html. There are
comments.