Therav.
Two things happened in the last twelve or so hours.
The first is this:
We were having a nice quiet night. I like these quiet nights, and we have enough of them to worry that I'm going to become spoiled.
I fell asleep pretty early, and occasionally I'd wake up a little and see Therav reading his PADD, and I'd curl against him and go back to sleep... with Elvis curled tightly between us, purring.
Therav got called to the ready room while he was here, and told to "come as you are" - which doesn't really mean "come as you are" in some cases. He stomped around the room looking for his uniform but couldn't find where it'd fallen when I'd peeled it off of him earlier. I told him to look in the closet, and from the rummaging around, I could tell that he wasn't having an easy time navigating my closet, either.
I went back to sleep, and only twitched awake when he came back - I noticed he was wearing...
Christ.
Marek's robe. No mistaking, because Marek was almost a foot taller than Therav. I remember that robe coming down to Marek's knees.
I haven't seen that thing in three years... just where in my closet was it?
He never mentioned it... he got back, he undressed again, set his alarm, and curled around me to go to sleep. He mentioned something about having to get up a little earlier than usual to report.
He still hasn't mentioned it.
Which I suppose is all for the best, because there are other things we're dealing with.
At somewhere close to 0130 or 0200, I got a page from Diz informing me I was her pick for an away mission. Naturally, Therav twitched awake - I don't think I've ever known a lighter sleeper.
"You are going on an away mission?" he asked. I didn't really know what to make of his tone.
"Yes, I am."
"Hnh," he responded, faintly.
"Same one you probably are coordinating from the ship."
"How did you-"
"You get called at around 11, then I get called within a few hours for a mission? What else would it be? Let's get some sleep."
He was quiet, and I curled against him and managed to sleep on and off, but he was restless all night - didn't make it easy. At some points I noticed the faint glow of his PADD.
Morning is when it blew all to hell.
We were eating breakfast when he said, "You do not have to do this. I have-"
"I want to."
His lips tightened and antennae stiffened a bit and lightening-fast he was out of his chair and pacing the floor.
"Therav, it's what I DO."
"Nnh."
"I'm going."
"Do what you WISH! I have NOT told you not to go!"
"Okay, then. We're good, I guess."
"We are not good."
"I thought we weren't going to let this get in the way of our jobs."
"Was that your plan?"
"Of course."
He ground his jaw and looked away. “You cannot plan everything out like that, Noelle. It does not work that way. Not ever.”
“Of course I can."
I was stopped by the expression on his face.
His hand shook a little. He folded his hands, and stared at his folded hands.
“Uzaveh damn it," he muttered faintly. "There is ALWAYS a margin of error. Always. You cannot plan these things. Only be prepared. And often. All the preparation... is not enough. Not enough."
Not like him to speak in riddles. It surprised me: one of the things I've liked about him is his directness. I have no idea what he was talking about this time. I'm not even sure what he was really saying. He didn't look at me.
"I'm going to be fine," I said. "Anyway, I accepted the risk when I signed up, and so did you. You don't need to worry."
I laughed just a little, and laid my hand on his shoulder and said, softly, "Besides, it's not in whatever tezha contract we agreed this is."
He actually flinched away and looked at me with rather harder eyes than I'm used to. "Do not make light of this! This is NOT tezha! This has not ONCE ever been tezha!" he said before he got his PADD and stalked out.
We didn't speak to each other the rest of the morning.
This is exactly the reason I've never liked the whole idea of shipboard affairs. You just can't keep those peas and carrots separated. And I REALLY need to think about the mission. And not worry about what all of that was about. Or for that matter, what'll happen when I'm back.
Shit, Noelle.
The first is this:
We were having a nice quiet night. I like these quiet nights, and we have enough of them to worry that I'm going to become spoiled.
I fell asleep pretty early, and occasionally I'd wake up a little and see Therav reading his PADD, and I'd curl against him and go back to sleep... with Elvis curled tightly between us, purring.
Therav got called to the ready room while he was here, and told to "come as you are" - which doesn't really mean "come as you are" in some cases. He stomped around the room looking for his uniform but couldn't find where it'd fallen when I'd peeled it off of him earlier. I told him to look in the closet, and from the rummaging around, I could tell that he wasn't having an easy time navigating my closet, either.
I went back to sleep, and only twitched awake when he came back - I noticed he was wearing...
Christ.
Marek's robe. No mistaking, because Marek was almost a foot taller than Therav. I remember that robe coming down to Marek's knees.
I haven't seen that thing in three years... just where in my closet was it?
He never mentioned it... he got back, he undressed again, set his alarm, and curled around me to go to sleep. He mentioned something about having to get up a little earlier than usual to report.
He still hasn't mentioned it.
Which I suppose is all for the best, because there are other things we're dealing with.
At somewhere close to 0130 or 0200, I got a page from Diz informing me I was her pick for an away mission. Naturally, Therav twitched awake - I don't think I've ever known a lighter sleeper.
"You are going on an away mission?" he asked. I didn't really know what to make of his tone.
"Yes, I am."
"Hnh," he responded, faintly.
"Same one you probably are coordinating from the ship."
"How did you-"
"You get called at around 11, then I get called within a few hours for a mission? What else would it be? Let's get some sleep."
He was quiet, and I curled against him and managed to sleep on and off, but he was restless all night - didn't make it easy. At some points I noticed the faint glow of his PADD.
Morning is when it blew all to hell.
We were eating breakfast when he said, "You do not have to do this. I have-"
"I want to."
His lips tightened and antennae stiffened a bit and lightening-fast he was out of his chair and pacing the floor.
"Therav, it's what I DO."
"Nnh."
"I'm going."
"Do what you WISH! I have NOT told you not to go!"
"Okay, then. We're good, I guess."
"We are not good."
"I thought we weren't going to let this get in the way of our jobs."
"Was that your plan?"
"Of course."
He ground his jaw and looked away. “You cannot plan everything out like that, Noelle. It does not work that way. Not ever.”
“Of course I can."
I was stopped by the expression on his face.
His hand shook a little. He folded his hands, and stared at his folded hands.
“Uzaveh damn it," he muttered faintly. "There is ALWAYS a margin of error. Always. You cannot plan these things. Only be prepared. And often. All the preparation... is not enough. Not enough."
Not like him to speak in riddles. It surprised me: one of the things I've liked about him is his directness. I have no idea what he was talking about this time. I'm not even sure what he was really saying. He didn't look at me.
"I'm going to be fine," I said. "Anyway, I accepted the risk when I signed up, and so did you. You don't need to worry."
I laughed just a little, and laid my hand on his shoulder and said, softly, "Besides, it's not in whatever tezha contract we agreed this is."
He actually flinched away and looked at me with rather harder eyes than I'm used to. "Do not make light of this! This is NOT tezha! This has not ONCE ever been tezha!" he said before he got his PADD and stalked out.
We didn't speak to each other the rest of the morning.
This is exactly the reason I've never liked the whole idea of shipboard affairs. You just can't keep those peas and carrots separated. And I REALLY need to think about the mission. And not worry about what all of that was about. Or for that matter, what'll happen when I'm back.
Shit, Noelle.