(no subject)
One day, far far in the future I will be a little old lady with a bazillion grandchildren and a fabu little old man husband and thoughts of protecting self and those close to me from crazy manipulative sociopathic type people will no longer cross my mind.
Bleh.
Can't the people we dislike vehemently live at least 10 states away? That'd be terribly ideal... and New England doesn't count. *sigh*
I dont' like talking about this, I don't even want to think about it. I wish I could pretend it didn't even ever happen. I just want to hang out with people I like and not worry or be anxious or upset, and it is very hard for me to do that when someone I know in my soul to be "not a good person" is there and I wish I could just be okay with it... I am going to do the best I can, to be as together as I can, but it's like trying to pretend there isn't an elephant in a small room... I am dealing much better then I was a year ago, and I get that I didn't exactly come out of a 'normal' situation, but I wish I was further along, cause I'm clearly not as far as I thought I was. Though at this point its more of a I don't wish to be surrounded by bad people, I know this person to be a not good person vs. this is a person who wronged me and I therefore emotionally freak out.
So that's something I guess.
I guess I should say also that I'm going to try not to focus on it and go about my life w/ friends and things as per normal, but it's not going to be easy, so I guess please cut me some slack cause I'm trying.
Bleh.
Can't the people we dislike vehemently live at least 10 states away? That'd be terribly ideal... and New England doesn't count. *sigh*
I dont' like talking about this, I don't even want to think about it. I wish I could pretend it didn't even ever happen. I just want to hang out with people I like and not worry or be anxious or upset, and it is very hard for me to do that when someone I know in my soul to be "not a good person" is there and I wish I could just be okay with it... I am going to do the best I can, to be as together as I can, but it's like trying to pretend there isn't an elephant in a small room... I am dealing much better then I was a year ago, and I get that I didn't exactly come out of a 'normal' situation, but I wish I was further along, cause I'm clearly not as far as I thought I was. Though at this point its more of a I don't wish to be surrounded by bad people, I know this person to be a not good person vs. this is a person who wronged me and I therefore emotionally freak out.
So that's something I guess.
I guess I should say also that I'm going to try not to focus on it and go about my life w/ friends and things as per normal, but it's not going to be easy, so I guess please cut me some slack cause I'm trying.