random ponderings
Ah yes... gather 'round for once again I have chunk of thoughs to sharel. That or skip the cut.... and you really just may want to skip it...
So today I'm pondering the situation that someone else has been dealing with, and for some stupid reason I'd not really figured out that he had been going through something that I had to deal with last year. These are days when I think I'm slow, but I get it now. Similar but different. Similar in that we both were betrayed and lied to by people near and dear to us, but different in the types of betrayal used... both involved lies and deception, but his also had the physical betrayal that mine lacked (which is probably a good thing, because I really don't know what I would have done had that been an issue on top of everything else...)...
Now one year post my 2005 horrid relationship drama... I'm at a place where I don't despise my ex for the damage he did to me, or how he betrayed me... I do despise him, don't get me wrong, but it's not based in my emotions any longer, but based in the fact that I have an extremely low tolerance for people who lie and betray those to whom they've made a committment. I do also tend to have reservations regarding people who know what transpired with the ex, and still choose to associate with him on more then a polite level. And again, that reservation isn't based in what happened to me (emotions) but rather based in, "do I want to associate with people who hang w/ folks that think they've done nothing wrong when they have lied and betrayed others?"... And the answer is no...
So other person, has been confronted with largely the same situation (though with much further complications than I had to deal with)... And I have played the role of the tolerant associating person who continues to talk to the person who did wrong the other party, thinking that there is still good there and using that to legitimize my descision. I wouldn't accept that reasoning when offered by others... and it hit me all of a sudden that I was in a role that I wouldn't tolerate of others toward me... so how can I stay where I am?
I can't. And it sucks. But betrayal is a bitch, and even rivals deserve a fair fight, one with up front, engaged combat ~ not a stab in the back and lies. Eventually I hope that things work out for everyone involved and that lessons were learned, which is the best hope in a situation like this, but at this point I'm not able to tolerate myself behaving as a hippocrite. So I choose to stop, though I continue to wonder how I found myself this far down the road without figuring out that I was behaving that way. Better late than never I suppose. I'll be polite, but please don't expect much more. Sorry I was so slow.
*sigh*
So today I'm pondering the situation that someone else has been dealing with, and for some stupid reason I'd not really figured out that he had been going through something that I had to deal with last year. These are days when I think I'm slow, but I get it now. Similar but different. Similar in that we both were betrayed and lied to by people near and dear to us, but different in the types of betrayal used... both involved lies and deception, but his also had the physical betrayal that mine lacked (which is probably a good thing, because I really don't know what I would have done had that been an issue on top of everything else...)...
Now one year post my 2005 horrid relationship drama... I'm at a place where I don't despise my ex for the damage he did to me, or how he betrayed me... I do despise him, don't get me wrong, but it's not based in my emotions any longer, but based in the fact that I have an extremely low tolerance for people who lie and betray those to whom they've made a committment. I do also tend to have reservations regarding people who know what transpired with the ex, and still choose to associate with him on more then a polite level. And again, that reservation isn't based in what happened to me (emotions) but rather based in, "do I want to associate with people who hang w/ folks that think they've done nothing wrong when they have lied and betrayed others?"... And the answer is no...
So other person, has been confronted with largely the same situation (though with much further complications than I had to deal with)... And I have played the role of the tolerant associating person who continues to talk to the person who did wrong the other party, thinking that there is still good there and using that to legitimize my descision. I wouldn't accept that reasoning when offered by others... and it hit me all of a sudden that I was in a role that I wouldn't tolerate of others toward me... so how can I stay where I am?
I can't. And it sucks. But betrayal is a bitch, and even rivals deserve a fair fight, one with up front, engaged combat ~ not a stab in the back and lies. Eventually I hope that things work out for everyone involved and that lessons were learned, which is the best hope in a situation like this, but at this point I'm not able to tolerate myself behaving as a hippocrite. So I choose to stop, though I continue to wonder how I found myself this far down the road without figuring out that I was behaving that way. Better late than never I suppose. I'll be polite, but please don't expect much more. Sorry I was so slow.
*sigh*