How Can It Be Wrong When It Feels So Right
Summary: Kurt trying to come to terms about his feelings for Blaine after the Sex talk with his father.
I Sadly do not own Glee or the characters.
This is a short little fic that I had to write to get through this long insufferable Hiatus. I Hope you enjoy it. Thinking of continuing and making this into a longer fic. Let me know what you think.
How Can It Be Wrong When It Feels So Right
It has been a week since my father gave me those pamphlets from the free clinic. I was beyond mortified, and I had a good idea where his grand idea came from. I look across the common room at Blaine sitting with Wes and David they were trying to finish their homework before glee. Blaine and I hadn’t really talked since the incident in my room and to tell the truth I didn’t know if I could face him. Ever since I read those pamphlets I’ve had nothing but my father’s words running through my mind ‘use it as a way to connect with another person’ ‘you matter Kurt’. I now understand what my father was saying and some of the pictures that were shown did seem to leave a person in a vulnerable place.
I look back at Blaine and feel a heat that I never felt before that talk run through my body. There were nights now that I would see Blaine walking into my room. I would be in bed and he would walk slowly up to my bed. Gently he’d say my name in a soft whisper that cresses my face. Then he would sit on my bed and start to lean forward his hand gently sliding up my bare arm to my face. He pauses and just stares into my eyes almost asking permission as if I would or could turn him down. The corner of his lips turn up slightly and he whispers “I’ve been dreaming of this for so long please tell me not to stop” and then his lips or on mine. Lips that if I’m being honest with are truly fascinating.
“….urt”
I looked up into the eyes that had been hunting my mind since I had come to this school and seen those eyes sparkle with light well he sang. I lick my suddenly dry lips and smile trying to hide my thoughts but from the smirks on David and Wes’s face I wasn’t doing that good a job, Thankfully Blaine didn’t seem to notice.
“I was just saying that you should hurry and put your stuff away were almost done here so we can maybe get to practice on time.” At that I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Ever since coming here we had never made it to practice on time. Not without trying mind you just seemed that things were always getting in the way. Just like with other situations I seem to be having.
“Yeah ok sounds good I’ll be right down” I walk up to my room and place my bag on the ground. I looked around. At first I didn’t really want to board here at Dalton but after a few weeks of the commute I realized it would be wiser, plus I still got to go home on the weekends so that it wasn’t that hard of a change. I still felt a little bad leaving the group when I did but seeing them at sectionals had help relieve the presser I hadn’t realized I had placed on myself. It was great seeing them al perform again all they energy and passion coming alive and dragging you along for the ride. I mean I loved the Warblers but they had an almost military feel to a lot of their rules. I understand that making everyone equal the way they do helps keep the mood in control but there were times that I sometimes wonder if I would end up losing some of my passion. Not to say they didn’t have their passion or have any heart in their music but I just didn’t feel the same.
“Knock, Knock. Hey you ok in here we were waiting” Blaine leaned against the door and little smile on his lips and his eyebrow slightly raised.
“Yeah sorry was just lost in thought” I walk over to him and tilt my head a bit. “Well are we going to go or what” He steps aside and does this cute little brow.
“After you, Dear Sir.” I laugh out and walk by him slightly hitting him in the stomach. It was good to be able to still play around with him and all but I still didn’t know what to do with these feeling that I had been having. I thought my feelings before were bad but know man it took all my control not to jump him at all. I look at him from the corner of my eye. He had said that he cared for me and that we were great friends but how long was I going to have to wait. I watched him as He ran his hand through his hair and smile as we pass some of the freshmen and knew my answer. I’d wait as long as I had to.
GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE
“I don’t know what to do Mercedes it’s not like I can just but on my best outfit and strut around hoping to get his attention.” It was late in the evening after practice and I was on the phone with my best friend.
“Come on, what happed to my take no prisoners boy.”
“I think he’s still in my closet with all my other fabulous things. I don’t know it’s been almost 4 weeks since Valentine’s Day and he hasn’t even brought it up again maybe he really just wants us to be friends.” I sat back on my bed and just let the stress of the day leave me.
“You can’t just give up Kurt I mean did he ever say he just wanted to be friends”
“Well no not really but still I just think that maybe I shouldn’t get my hopes up to high I really don’t want to get hurt again like with the whole Finn thing.”
“Ok first off Finn was strait so there really wasn’t any real chance there to begin with and second weren’t you the one who told me “You just got to take care of yourself and treat yourself with a little respect”.
“I know, I think I’m just having a little pity fest here in my room. You know me I’ll be fine and be back to my Diva way in the morning”
“You better be or I’m gonna have to come down there and kick your ass and then kick Blaine’s ass for being blind and an idiot.”
“Ok Mercedes. Thanks but I better go I have a ton of work to do if I want to go home this weekend”
“Ok you been safe and hope to see you soon. You my Boy Kurt.”
“And you my Girl. See you later”
One the phone was on the hook I just laid there in bed. I hadn’t lied when I said I had a lot of homework to do but I knew I wasn’t going to get to it tonight. I didn’t feel as bad as I had earlier but I did still feel just as confused. I already know I like Blaine as more than a friend but up tell now it was harmless. I was still able to be around him without it being too wired and uncomfortable, now its hard being in the same room with him. I didn’t even realize the change at first it just sort of happened. We were walking to class and we still hadn’t spoken, I kind of think it’s funny that even with this big unsettled mess between us we still go on as though nothing happened. Anyways we walk in and sit down then the teacher starts in on the assignment and I was still on the new information I had learned that weekend. I looked over at Blaine and see him writing diligently as always and I couldn’t help but wonder what he would be like if he were drop even only for a minute the perfect persona he has all the time. And that’s where it began with just a innocent thought and then I could see it pulling me away from reality and to be perfectly honest I haven’t come down since.
I roll on to my side near the phone where I put a picture of me and Blaine, taking well we were at sectionals. I look at him next to me and close my eyes. Is it so wrong to have these feelings? I ever use to think so but I remember hearing Puck and Finn talking about sex and how to get it. They were obsessed with it and it consumed almost everything they did. I didn’t want that I liked myself to much but then hasn’t it already happened, hadn’t I already been called out twice in class for daydreaming. I just can’t stand it these feelings and these images in my mind I couldn’t stop them and I knew deep down I didn’t want to.
GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE
The next day started out the same. Blaine came by and we went to grab a coffee and then we sat and talked about regionals. Well Blaine talked about regional’s I mostly just watched Blaine lick is lips after every sip of his drink and the way his cheeks get a soft pink color. I knew I should be paying attention but I was captivated. Did he know what he was doing to me did he have any idea. It was like; well he was my Teenage Dream. Man how cheesy was that. O shit he’s staring at me he asked me something what was it, Shit.
“Um what were you saying?” I could feel the blush creeping up my body. He just gave me his concerned look.
“I was just telling you that I talked with Wes and David and we have decided that sexy in not really the way we want to go. I also just wanted to apologies if I made you feel uncomfortable last week. It really wasn’t my intention.” He’s eyes were staring into mine with so much intensity I felt like I could burst into flames.
“N…no its fine I was just a little unprepared but um yeah” What was I to say I mean I practically confessed to not having any clue to anything to do with the physical and then threw him out. We had said we would always be there to talk to each other and there I was throwing him out. He gave me this little smile and took another sip of his drink. I closed my eyes I couldn’t let him know anything has changed I mean that would just be modifying. I didn’t want to just jump him know that I knew what it was that I was feeling. I didn’t want him thinking that was the only reason I was into him. I gave him a small smile and drank my own drink. He started talking about the different types of songs that the others were throwing out there know that there was a spot open in the set list. Normally I would add my own two cents but I was too busy watching the man across from me. And that’s when I’ve finally just decided to be whatever this man needs and let my mind be free, because as I look at this man I knew that the feelings I feel aren’t just a passing fancy and that it’s not just because he’s the first out gay man I’ve met. I was in love with him.
Everything about him was amazing. His eyes were like liquid fire and his voice was like a smoky dream. There were days where I would just sit and think about the way his eyes light up and his mouth curls up when he’s telling a funny story. The way he always knew when I just needed to be alone or if I just needed a person there no questions asked. How was I not supposed to fall head over heels. There were moments that I thank gaga that it’s not another Finn debacle but then there were times I wished it was so I wouldn’t feel as bad. Because if he had been straight then I could feel that it wasn’t me that did attract him but my gender. Sadly it wasn’t meant to be. Maybe someday soon I’ll find the courage to tell him the truth and then find out at last if I can keep dreaming or let it fade.
I Sadly do not own Glee or the characters.
This is a short little fic that I had to write to get through this long insufferable Hiatus. I Hope you enjoy it. Thinking of continuing and making this into a longer fic. Let me know what you think.
How Can It Be Wrong When It Feels So Right
It has been a week since my father gave me those pamphlets from the free clinic. I was beyond mortified, and I had a good idea where his grand idea came from. I look across the common room at Blaine sitting with Wes and David they were trying to finish their homework before glee. Blaine and I hadn’t really talked since the incident in my room and to tell the truth I didn’t know if I could face him. Ever since I read those pamphlets I’ve had nothing but my father’s words running through my mind ‘use it as a way to connect with another person’ ‘you matter Kurt’. I now understand what my father was saying and some of the pictures that were shown did seem to leave a person in a vulnerable place.
I look back at Blaine and feel a heat that I never felt before that talk run through my body. There were nights now that I would see Blaine walking into my room. I would be in bed and he would walk slowly up to my bed. Gently he’d say my name in a soft whisper that cresses my face. Then he would sit on my bed and start to lean forward his hand gently sliding up my bare arm to my face. He pauses and just stares into my eyes almost asking permission as if I would or could turn him down. The corner of his lips turn up slightly and he whispers “I’ve been dreaming of this for so long please tell me not to stop” and then his lips or on mine. Lips that if I’m being honest with are truly fascinating.
“….urt”
I looked up into the eyes that had been hunting my mind since I had come to this school and seen those eyes sparkle with light well he sang. I lick my suddenly dry lips and smile trying to hide my thoughts but from the smirks on David and Wes’s face I wasn’t doing that good a job, Thankfully Blaine didn’t seem to notice.
“I was just saying that you should hurry and put your stuff away were almost done here so we can maybe get to practice on time.” At that I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Ever since coming here we had never made it to practice on time. Not without trying mind you just seemed that things were always getting in the way. Just like with other situations I seem to be having.
“Yeah ok sounds good I’ll be right down” I walk up to my room and place my bag on the ground. I looked around. At first I didn’t really want to board here at Dalton but after a few weeks of the commute I realized it would be wiser, plus I still got to go home on the weekends so that it wasn’t that hard of a change. I still felt a little bad leaving the group when I did but seeing them at sectionals had help relieve the presser I hadn’t realized I had placed on myself. It was great seeing them al perform again all they energy and passion coming alive and dragging you along for the ride. I mean I loved the Warblers but they had an almost military feel to a lot of their rules. I understand that making everyone equal the way they do helps keep the mood in control but there were times that I sometimes wonder if I would end up losing some of my passion. Not to say they didn’t have their passion or have any heart in their music but I just didn’t feel the same.
“Knock, Knock. Hey you ok in here we were waiting” Blaine leaned against the door and little smile on his lips and his eyebrow slightly raised.
“Yeah sorry was just lost in thought” I walk over to him and tilt my head a bit. “Well are we going to go or what” He steps aside and does this cute little brow.
“After you, Dear Sir.” I laugh out and walk by him slightly hitting him in the stomach. It was good to be able to still play around with him and all but I still didn’t know what to do with these feeling that I had been having. I thought my feelings before were bad but know man it took all my control not to jump him at all. I look at him from the corner of my eye. He had said that he cared for me and that we were great friends but how long was I going to have to wait. I watched him as He ran his hand through his hair and smile as we pass some of the freshmen and knew my answer. I’d wait as long as I had to.
GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE
“I don’t know what to do Mercedes it’s not like I can just but on my best outfit and strut around hoping to get his attention.” It was late in the evening after practice and I was on the phone with my best friend.
“Come on, what happed to my take no prisoners boy.”
“I think he’s still in my closet with all my other fabulous things. I don’t know it’s been almost 4 weeks since Valentine’s Day and he hasn’t even brought it up again maybe he really just wants us to be friends.” I sat back on my bed and just let the stress of the day leave me.
“You can’t just give up Kurt I mean did he ever say he just wanted to be friends”
“Well no not really but still I just think that maybe I shouldn’t get my hopes up to high I really don’t want to get hurt again like with the whole Finn thing.”
“Ok first off Finn was strait so there really wasn’t any real chance there to begin with and second weren’t you the one who told me “You just got to take care of yourself and treat yourself with a little respect”.
“I know, I think I’m just having a little pity fest here in my room. You know me I’ll be fine and be back to my Diva way in the morning”
“You better be or I’m gonna have to come down there and kick your ass and then kick Blaine’s ass for being blind and an idiot.”
“Ok Mercedes. Thanks but I better go I have a ton of work to do if I want to go home this weekend”
“Ok you been safe and hope to see you soon. You my Boy Kurt.”
“And you my Girl. See you later”
One the phone was on the hook I just laid there in bed. I hadn’t lied when I said I had a lot of homework to do but I knew I wasn’t going to get to it tonight. I didn’t feel as bad as I had earlier but I did still feel just as confused. I already know I like Blaine as more than a friend but up tell now it was harmless. I was still able to be around him without it being too wired and uncomfortable, now its hard being in the same room with him. I didn’t even realize the change at first it just sort of happened. We were walking to class and we still hadn’t spoken, I kind of think it’s funny that even with this big unsettled mess between us we still go on as though nothing happened. Anyways we walk in and sit down then the teacher starts in on the assignment and I was still on the new information I had learned that weekend. I looked over at Blaine and see him writing diligently as always and I couldn’t help but wonder what he would be like if he were drop even only for a minute the perfect persona he has all the time. And that’s where it began with just a innocent thought and then I could see it pulling me away from reality and to be perfectly honest I haven’t come down since.
I roll on to my side near the phone where I put a picture of me and Blaine, taking well we were at sectionals. I look at him next to me and close my eyes. Is it so wrong to have these feelings? I ever use to think so but I remember hearing Puck and Finn talking about sex and how to get it. They were obsessed with it and it consumed almost everything they did. I didn’t want that I liked myself to much but then hasn’t it already happened, hadn’t I already been called out twice in class for daydreaming. I just can’t stand it these feelings and these images in my mind I couldn’t stop them and I knew deep down I didn’t want to.
GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE~GLEE
The next day started out the same. Blaine came by and we went to grab a coffee and then we sat and talked about regionals. Well Blaine talked about regional’s I mostly just watched Blaine lick is lips after every sip of his drink and the way his cheeks get a soft pink color. I knew I should be paying attention but I was captivated. Did he know what he was doing to me did he have any idea. It was like; well he was my Teenage Dream. Man how cheesy was that. O shit he’s staring at me he asked me something what was it, Shit.
“Um what were you saying?” I could feel the blush creeping up my body. He just gave me his concerned look.
“I was just telling you that I talked with Wes and David and we have decided that sexy in not really the way we want to go. I also just wanted to apologies if I made you feel uncomfortable last week. It really wasn’t my intention.” He’s eyes were staring into mine with so much intensity I felt like I could burst into flames.
“N…no its fine I was just a little unprepared but um yeah” What was I to say I mean I practically confessed to not having any clue to anything to do with the physical and then threw him out. We had said we would always be there to talk to each other and there I was throwing him out. He gave me this little smile and took another sip of his drink. I closed my eyes I couldn’t let him know anything has changed I mean that would just be modifying. I didn’t want to just jump him know that I knew what it was that I was feeling. I didn’t want him thinking that was the only reason I was into him. I gave him a small smile and drank my own drink. He started talking about the different types of songs that the others were throwing out there know that there was a spot open in the set list. Normally I would add my own two cents but I was too busy watching the man across from me. And that’s when I’ve finally just decided to be whatever this man needs and let my mind be free, because as I look at this man I knew that the feelings I feel aren’t just a passing fancy and that it’s not just because he’s the first out gay man I’ve met. I was in love with him.
Everything about him was amazing. His eyes were like liquid fire and his voice was like a smoky dream. There were days where I would just sit and think about the way his eyes light up and his mouth curls up when he’s telling a funny story. The way he always knew when I just needed to be alone or if I just needed a person there no questions asked. How was I not supposed to fall head over heels. There were moments that I thank gaga that it’s not another Finn debacle but then there were times I wished it was so I wouldn’t feel as bad. Because if he had been straight then I could feel that it wasn’t me that did attract him but my gender. Sadly it wasn’t meant to be. Maybe someday soon I’ll find the courage to tell him the truth and then find out at last if I can keep dreaming or let it fade.