Birds of a Feather: a Max/Fang fanmix
01. THE RUNAWAY // SOMETHING CORPORATE (POV: FANG)
if you ran to the end of the earth/i would catch you and you would be safe/if you fell down the well/i would bring you a rope and take all of the pain/all the pain, all the pain/that you hide from me everyday/if you’re missing i will run away/i will build a path to you/if you're missing i will run away/because i find myself in you/…/cause by now, i know you better than you know yourself/and i know what you really need
Then Fang’s arms, ropy and hard, scooped me up, and I felt myself rising again. My wings were mushed between us, but nothing mattered except that my brain had been replaced by a bursting nova of raw agony. I had just enough consciousness to be embarrassed at hearing myself moan pitifully.
Death would have been so great just then.
I don’t know how long Fang carried me. Slowly, slowly, the pain leached away. I could almost open my eyes a slit. I could swallow. Cautiously, wincing, I let go of my head, half expecting huge shards of skull to come away in my hands.
I blinked up at Fang, his dark eyes looking down at me. He was still flying and carrying me.
“Man, you weigh a freaking ton,” he told me. “What’ve you been eating, rocks?”
“Why, is your head missing some?” I croaked. His mouth almost quirked in a smile, and that’s when I knew how upset he’d been.
02. IN THE MARGINS // ANI DIFRANCO (POV: MAX)
such an intent stare/one eye at a time/your talons like fish hooks/you are a rare bird/…/and my whole mission just seems so finite/my whole saga just seems so cheap/i mean i know that now is all there is/and love will just make you cry/so i live for the sight of a rare bird/suddenly flying by/and i meet your stare/one eye at a time/writing in the margins of my mind
Fang glanced over at me, his face smooth and impassive, though I could almost feel the anticipation rolling off his feathers. I smiled at him, and his dark eyes lit.
Fang. I had to do some thinking about him.
03. SPLIT ME WIDE OPEN // THE BRAVERY (POV: BOTH)
split me wide open and look right inside/so many things that i try to hide/oh you see right through me/you always see right through me/split me wide open and cut in me two/there's nothing that i could ever hide from you/oh you always knew me/you're the only one who knew me
Fang leaned in the doorway. He saw how I looked, pale and big-eyed and freaked. Compulsively I touched my face, looked down at my hands. Still covered with plain skin.
One of his dark eyebrows rose, and he came in and closed the door. “What’s going on?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “Something’s wrong with me, but I don’t know what.”
Fang waited for a moment, then sat next to me on the bed and put his arm gently across my shoulders. I was all huddled up, damp in my towel, feeling miserable and more scared than I’d been in- days.
“You’ll be okay,” he said.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know everything, as I keep reminding you.”
04. CLOSE UP // FROU FROU (POV: MAX)
is this a feeling of something about to happen?/…/how can you be so sure/if you’ve never been here before/i don’t understand/it can’t be that easy/i love you, i hate you, i love you, i hate you/i can’t keep my hands off you/…/get back, get away from there/it’s all wrong/keep calm for a moment/look in my eyes/get back, get away, ‘cause/this could get ugly/if you think that i’ll let you go/you’re out of your mind
Fang shrugged. “You’re a fighter, not a mom.”
I almost gasped, stung. “I can’t be both? You think I’m a lousy mom? What, because I’m not girly enough, is that it?” I was really mad, the tensions of the day boiling over in me. “Not like that girl with the red hair, stuck to you like glue!” My hands came up and, without thinking, I shoved Fang hard.
Since this was Fang, he didn’t just take it like a gentleman. He immediately shoved me back, almost making me hit the wall. I was mortified- not only because I was attacking my best friend, but because I’d sounded like a jealous idiot. Which I wasn’t. At all.
05. GUERNICA // BRAND NEW (POV: FANG)
ever since i was young/your word is the word that always won/worry and wake the ones you love/…/nobody plans to be half a world away at times like these/so i sat alone and waited out the night/the best part of what has happened was the part i must have missed/so i’m asking you to shine it on and stick around/i’m not writing my goodbyes/…/if i could i would shrink myself/and sink through your skin to your blood cells/remove whatever makes you hurt/but i am too weak to be your cure
There was something I needed to say. “Sorry. About before.”
Fang shot a sideways glance at me, his eyes dark and inscrutable, as always. He looked back out at the water. I didn’t expect any more acknowledgment than that. Fang never-
“You almost gave me a heart attack,” he said quietly. “When I saw you, and all that blood…” He threw a small rock as hard as he could down the beach.
06. SWEET CHILD O’ MINE // GUNS N’ ROSES (POV: FANG)
she's got a smile that it seems to me/reminds me of childhood memories/…/i hate to look into those eyes/and see an ounce of pain/her hair reminds me of a warm safe place/where as a child i'd hide/and pray for the thunder/and the rain/to quietly pass me by/…/where do we go?/where do we go now?
Max.
God, but she was stubborn. And tough. And closed in. Closed off. Except when she was holding Angel, or ruffling the Gasman’s hair, or pushing something closer to Iggy’s hand so he could find it easily without knowing anyone had helped him. Or when she was trying to untangle Nudge’s mane of hair. Or- sometimes- when she was looking at Fang.
07. THE WALK // IMOGEN HEAP (POV: MAX)
inside out, upside-down twisting beside myself/stop that now, ‘cause you and i were never meant to be/i think you better leave; it's not safe in here/i feel a weakness coming on./…/oh, i was doing so well, can we just be friends/i feel a weakness coming on/…/it's not meant to be like this, not what i planned at all/i don't want to feel like this, yeah/no it's not meant to be like this, not what i planned at all/i don't want to feel like this, so that makes it all your fault
“Max.” He waited till I looked at him again. “The one thing we have is each other. The one thing we can depend on, no matter what. We have to… talk about stuff.”
I would pretty much rather have been torn apart by wild animals.
08. AGAINST ALL ODDS // THE POSTAL SERVICE (POV: MAX)
how can i just let you walk away/just let you leave without a trace/when i stand here taking every breath with you, oh/you're the only one who really knew me at all/how can you just walk away from me/when all i can do is watch you leave/because we've shared the laughter and the pain, and even shared the tears/you're the only one who really knew me at all/…/and you coming back to me is against all odds/and that's what i've got to face
Half my flock was gone. Fang was gone. My right-hand man. How could he do this? Didn’t he need me?
I straightened my shoulders. I didn’t need him. Not anymore.
09. BLACKING OUT THE FRICTION // DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE (POV: FANG)
i don't mind restrictions/or if you're blacking out the friction/it's just an escape/it's overrated anyways/…/the hardest part is yet to come/when you will cross the country alone
Flying west without Max was like flying with one wing missing, Fang thought. He kept seeing her face, furious, confused, and even though she would never admit it, scared. He’d seen that face just about every day of his entire life. He’d seen it filthy with caked-on dirt, bruised and bloodied, snarling, laughing, sleeping, telling complicated lies with total sincerity… looking down at him with that light in her eyes, that communication between them…
10. DIG // INCUBUS (POV: BOTH)
we all have a weakness/but some of ours are easy to identify/look me in the eye/and ask for forgiveness/we'll make a pact to never speak that word again/yes, you are my friend/we all have something that digs at us/at least we dig each other/so when weakness turns my ego up/i know you'll count on the me from yesterday/…/remind me that we'll always have each other/when everything else is gone
“You’re late.”
Fang stepped out of the shadows, eating an apple. He was dressed in black, as usual, and his face looked like a lumpy plum pie. But his eyes shone as he came toward me, and then I was running to him over the sand, my wings out in back of me.
We smashed together awkwardly, with Fang standing stiffly for a moment, but then his arms slowly came around me, and he hugged me back. I held him tight, trying to swallow the lump of cotton in my throat, my head on his shoulder, my eyes squeezed shut.
“Don’t ever leave me again,” I said in a tiny voice.
“I won’t,” he promised into my hair, sounding most un-Fang-like. “I won’t. Not ever.”
11. FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH // THE CARDIGANS (POV: MAX)
for what it's worth, i love you/and what is worse, i really do/for what it's worth, i'm gonna run, run, run/till the sweetness gets to you/and what is worse, i love you/…/ for what it's worth, i like you/and what is worse, i really do/things have been worse/and we had fun, fun, fun/till i said i love you/and what is worse, i really do
It was incredible. I loved it. I loved him.
It was a total disaster.
Gasping, I pulled back. “I, uh-,” I began oh so coherently, and then I jumped up, almost knocking him over, and raced down the dock. I took off, flying fast, like a rocket.
12. THIRTEEN // BEN KWELLER (POV: FANG)
we've been in the rain/we've been on the mountain/we've been round the fire/…/i kissed your dry lips/we jumped off the high cliffs/and splashed down below/…/read the mind of the other/flew one thousand/…/and frequently/we ignored our love/but we could never mistake it
“Max, if you would just talk to me-”
“About what? You and me? There is no you and me. Especially when you keep throwing yourself at everything in a skirt!” Okay, now, that was so, so stupid. Fang’s eyes widened- I’d given far too much away. Plus, Brigid Dwyer wasn’t wearing a skirt.
I wrenched my arms away from him, feeling as if my cheeks were on fire. I was confused and miserable- two of my least favorite things.
“You’re wrong, Max.” he said in a low, dark tone that made butterflies in my stomach. “There’s a you and me, all right. There will always be a you and me.”
13. STAY AWAY // ROONEY (POV: FANG)
she doesn't know/that i love her/yes i love her/make a move on me baby/i can’t be the one who's always taking chances/see me down/so you get down/no you've got me all wrong/i just want to kiss your lips/and you kiss back
Fang looked at me. “You can’t have it both ways, Max,” he said. “You blow me off every chance you get, but then you get mad if I talk to someone else.”
“I do n-,” I began hotly, but then realized that was exactly what I did. My face flushed, and I shut my mouth. I didn’t even know what we were fighting about.
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” I blustered, but Fang didn’t even crack a smile.
“I said that we would never split up again,” Fang said, and my heart leaped in panic. “And I meant it. We have to keep the flock together to survive. But you might want to think about cutting me a break now and then.
He gave me a last, long look that I could hardly stand, afraid of what I might see in it.
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if you ran to the end of the earth/i would catch you and you would be safe/if you fell down the well/i would bring you a rope and take all of the pain/all the pain, all the pain/that you hide from me everyday/if you’re missing i will run away/i will build a path to you/if you're missing i will run away/because i find myself in you/…/cause by now, i know you better than you know yourself/and i know what you really need
Then Fang’s arms, ropy and hard, scooped me up, and I felt myself rising again. My wings were mushed between us, but nothing mattered except that my brain had been replaced by a bursting nova of raw agony. I had just enough consciousness to be embarrassed at hearing myself moan pitifully.
Death would have been so great just then.
I don’t know how long Fang carried me. Slowly, slowly, the pain leached away. I could almost open my eyes a slit. I could swallow. Cautiously, wincing, I let go of my head, half expecting huge shards of skull to come away in my hands.
I blinked up at Fang, his dark eyes looking down at me. He was still flying and carrying me.
“Man, you weigh a freaking ton,” he told me. “What’ve you been eating, rocks?”
“Why, is your head missing some?” I croaked. His mouth almost quirked in a smile, and that’s when I knew how upset he’d been.
02. IN THE MARGINS // ANI DIFRANCO (POV: MAX)
such an intent stare/one eye at a time/your talons like fish hooks/you are a rare bird/…/and my whole mission just seems so finite/my whole saga just seems so cheap/i mean i know that now is all there is/and love will just make you cry/so i live for the sight of a rare bird/suddenly flying by/and i meet your stare/one eye at a time/writing in the margins of my mind
Fang glanced over at me, his face smooth and impassive, though I could almost feel the anticipation rolling off his feathers. I smiled at him, and his dark eyes lit.
Fang. I had to do some thinking about him.
03. SPLIT ME WIDE OPEN // THE BRAVERY (POV: BOTH)
split me wide open and look right inside/so many things that i try to hide/oh you see right through me/you always see right through me/split me wide open and cut in me two/there's nothing that i could ever hide from you/oh you always knew me/you're the only one who knew me
Fang leaned in the doorway. He saw how I looked, pale and big-eyed and freaked. Compulsively I touched my face, looked down at my hands. Still covered with plain skin.
One of his dark eyebrows rose, and he came in and closed the door. “What’s going on?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “Something’s wrong with me, but I don’t know what.”
Fang waited for a moment, then sat next to me on the bed and put his arm gently across my shoulders. I was all huddled up, damp in my towel, feeling miserable and more scared than I’d been in- days.
“You’ll be okay,” he said.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know everything, as I keep reminding you.”
04. CLOSE UP // FROU FROU (POV: MAX)
is this a feeling of something about to happen?/…/how can you be so sure/if you’ve never been here before/i don’t understand/it can’t be that easy/i love you, i hate you, i love you, i hate you/i can’t keep my hands off you/…/get back, get away from there/it’s all wrong/keep calm for a moment/look in my eyes/get back, get away, ‘cause/this could get ugly/if you think that i’ll let you go/you’re out of your mind
Fang shrugged. “You’re a fighter, not a mom.”
I almost gasped, stung. “I can’t be both? You think I’m a lousy mom? What, because I’m not girly enough, is that it?” I was really mad, the tensions of the day boiling over in me. “Not like that girl with the red hair, stuck to you like glue!” My hands came up and, without thinking, I shoved Fang hard.
Since this was Fang, he didn’t just take it like a gentleman. He immediately shoved me back, almost making me hit the wall. I was mortified- not only because I was attacking my best friend, but because I’d sounded like a jealous idiot. Which I wasn’t. At all.
05. GUERNICA // BRAND NEW (POV: FANG)
ever since i was young/your word is the word that always won/worry and wake the ones you love/…/nobody plans to be half a world away at times like these/so i sat alone and waited out the night/the best part of what has happened was the part i must have missed/so i’m asking you to shine it on and stick around/i’m not writing my goodbyes/…/if i could i would shrink myself/and sink through your skin to your blood cells/remove whatever makes you hurt/but i am too weak to be your cure
There was something I needed to say. “Sorry. About before.”
Fang shot a sideways glance at me, his eyes dark and inscrutable, as always. He looked back out at the water. I didn’t expect any more acknowledgment than that. Fang never-
“You almost gave me a heart attack,” he said quietly. “When I saw you, and all that blood…” He threw a small rock as hard as he could down the beach.
06. SWEET CHILD O’ MINE // GUNS N’ ROSES (POV: FANG)
she's got a smile that it seems to me/reminds me of childhood memories/…/i hate to look into those eyes/and see an ounce of pain/her hair reminds me of a warm safe place/where as a child i'd hide/and pray for the thunder/and the rain/to quietly pass me by/…/where do we go?/where do we go now?
Max.
God, but she was stubborn. And tough. And closed in. Closed off. Except when she was holding Angel, or ruffling the Gasman’s hair, or pushing something closer to Iggy’s hand so he could find it easily without knowing anyone had helped him. Or when she was trying to untangle Nudge’s mane of hair. Or- sometimes- when she was looking at Fang.
07. THE WALK // IMOGEN HEAP (POV: MAX)
inside out, upside-down twisting beside myself/stop that now, ‘cause you and i were never meant to be/i think you better leave; it's not safe in here/i feel a weakness coming on./…/oh, i was doing so well, can we just be friends/i feel a weakness coming on/…/it's not meant to be like this, not what i planned at all/i don't want to feel like this, yeah/no it's not meant to be like this, not what i planned at all/i don't want to feel like this, so that makes it all your fault
“Max.” He waited till I looked at him again. “The one thing we have is each other. The one thing we can depend on, no matter what. We have to… talk about stuff.”
I would pretty much rather have been torn apart by wild animals.
08. AGAINST ALL ODDS // THE POSTAL SERVICE (POV: MAX)
how can i just let you walk away/just let you leave without a trace/when i stand here taking every breath with you, oh/you're the only one who really knew me at all/how can you just walk away from me/when all i can do is watch you leave/because we've shared the laughter and the pain, and even shared the tears/you're the only one who really knew me at all/…/and you coming back to me is against all odds/and that's what i've got to face
Half my flock was gone. Fang was gone. My right-hand man. How could he do this? Didn’t he need me?
I straightened my shoulders. I didn’t need him. Not anymore.
09. BLACKING OUT THE FRICTION // DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE (POV: FANG)
i don't mind restrictions/or if you're blacking out the friction/it's just an escape/it's overrated anyways/…/the hardest part is yet to come/when you will cross the country alone
Flying west without Max was like flying with one wing missing, Fang thought. He kept seeing her face, furious, confused, and even though she would never admit it, scared. He’d seen that face just about every day of his entire life. He’d seen it filthy with caked-on dirt, bruised and bloodied, snarling, laughing, sleeping, telling complicated lies with total sincerity… looking down at him with that light in her eyes, that communication between them…
10. DIG // INCUBUS (POV: BOTH)
we all have a weakness/but some of ours are easy to identify/look me in the eye/and ask for forgiveness/we'll make a pact to never speak that word again/yes, you are my friend/we all have something that digs at us/at least we dig each other/so when weakness turns my ego up/i know you'll count on the me from yesterday/…/remind me that we'll always have each other/when everything else is gone
“You’re late.”
Fang stepped out of the shadows, eating an apple. He was dressed in black, as usual, and his face looked like a lumpy plum pie. But his eyes shone as he came toward me, and then I was running to him over the sand, my wings out in back of me.
We smashed together awkwardly, with Fang standing stiffly for a moment, but then his arms slowly came around me, and he hugged me back. I held him tight, trying to swallow the lump of cotton in my throat, my head on his shoulder, my eyes squeezed shut.
“Don’t ever leave me again,” I said in a tiny voice.
“I won’t,” he promised into my hair, sounding most un-Fang-like. “I won’t. Not ever.”
11. FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH // THE CARDIGANS (POV: MAX)
for what it's worth, i love you/and what is worse, i really do/for what it's worth, i'm gonna run, run, run/till the sweetness gets to you/and what is worse, i love you/…/ for what it's worth, i like you/and what is worse, i really do/things have been worse/and we had fun, fun, fun/till i said i love you/and what is worse, i really do
It was incredible. I loved it. I loved him.
It was a total disaster.
Gasping, I pulled back. “I, uh-,” I began oh so coherently, and then I jumped up, almost knocking him over, and raced down the dock. I took off, flying fast, like a rocket.
12. THIRTEEN // BEN KWELLER (POV: FANG)
we've been in the rain/we've been on the mountain/we've been round the fire/…/i kissed your dry lips/we jumped off the high cliffs/and splashed down below/…/read the mind of the other/flew one thousand/…/and frequently/we ignored our love/but we could never mistake it
“Max, if you would just talk to me-”
“About what? You and me? There is no you and me. Especially when you keep throwing yourself at everything in a skirt!” Okay, now, that was so, so stupid. Fang’s eyes widened- I’d given far too much away. Plus, Brigid Dwyer wasn’t wearing a skirt.
I wrenched my arms away from him, feeling as if my cheeks were on fire. I was confused and miserable- two of my least favorite things.
“You’re wrong, Max.” he said in a low, dark tone that made butterflies in my stomach. “There’s a you and me, all right. There will always be a you and me.”
13. STAY AWAY // ROONEY (POV: FANG)
she doesn't know/that i love her/yes i love her/make a move on me baby/i can’t be the one who's always taking chances/see me down/so you get down/no you've got me all wrong/i just want to kiss your lips/and you kiss back
Fang looked at me. “You can’t have it both ways, Max,” he said. “You blow me off every chance you get, but then you get mad if I talk to someone else.”
“I do n-,” I began hotly, but then realized that was exactly what I did. My face flushed, and I shut my mouth. I didn’t even know what we were fighting about.
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” I blustered, but Fang didn’t even crack a smile.
“I said that we would never split up again,” Fang said, and my heart leaped in panic. “And I meant it. We have to keep the flock together to survive. But you might want to think about cutting me a break now and then.
He gave me a last, long look that I could hardly stand, afraid of what I might see in it.
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