*thinking aloud or at least onscreen*
I spent a lot of today working out the Things That Must Change and How They Must Be Changed and naturally, this required a list.
The good in my life is that I am in a happy relationship, I have a job, and I am in a safe and comfortable household.
The things that are not so good are:
1. The job is low-paying.
2. I have a lot of debt, some of it well past due.
3. I'm about 40 pounds overweight.
4. I have not been writing on a regular basis.
5. I am isolated and have been isolating myself by not taking care of my friendships.
There are other things, but these are the things within my control or at least can be worked on. The thing that I'm thinking is that this is partly a matter of habit. These are all habits that need changing, yes, even the first one, and changing a habit requires a pretty intense focus for at least a few weeks.
These are all complex problems with multiple changes required, but I can't wipe the slate and rewrite all the habits at one time. Still, they all need to be changed. I get overwhelmed thinking about them all and it makes me want to go buy a Symphony bar and see if I can finish it in three bites. *g*
I had all kinds of changes I had to make for school and I had to juggle a lot of things all at once to make sure I got everything done on time. I was obviously successful at that--summa cum laude, even--so I should be able to do this, too. Right?
I have to think of each one as a project, like it's due for school. It's an assignment. I have the job assignment, the debt reduction assignment, the weight loss assignment, the get my butt in the chair and write assignment and the friend....assignment.... Well, um, crap. You guys aren't an assignment. You're my friends and I like you. I want to talk to you. It's just that I'm out of the habit of it.
I suck.
Anyway, I thought I'd better drag out the white board, put up the assignments and give each one a task that I can work on and have done by the end of the week. And then each week, erase the old assignment and put up the new one. I've done this before, and not just with school. When Bren and I were still in the trailer and I was planning the whole finish the degree adventure, I broke down aspects of the process and put them up on the board with weekly assignments. I also put Bren up there (at least his name) and one or two things I wanted him to accomplish for the week so that he could move with me and do whatever. And I put financial things up there so I didn't lose track of those.
Am I just really OCD, or does anyone else do this? Or something similar? Does it work for you, or do you have something better?
I have a plan for #3 that might include this LJ, but it really depends on how much I feel like sharing. And it might be filtered. I have a pretty good idea who of you is not going to be interested, so I'll leave you out unless you want in. The default is out, so silence is construed as "no thanks."
And as for the rest of it....some evil little part of me is saying, "You're just doing this because you miss school." I might have to stab her with a knitting needle or something.
The good in my life is that I am in a happy relationship, I have a job, and I am in a safe and comfortable household.
The things that are not so good are:
1. The job is low-paying.
2. I have a lot of debt, some of it well past due.
3. I'm about 40 pounds overweight.
4. I have not been writing on a regular basis.
5. I am isolated and have been isolating myself by not taking care of my friendships.
There are other things, but these are the things within my control or at least can be worked on. The thing that I'm thinking is that this is partly a matter of habit. These are all habits that need changing, yes, even the first one, and changing a habit requires a pretty intense focus for at least a few weeks.
These are all complex problems with multiple changes required, but I can't wipe the slate and rewrite all the habits at one time. Still, they all need to be changed. I get overwhelmed thinking about them all and it makes me want to go buy a Symphony bar and see if I can finish it in three bites. *g*
I had all kinds of changes I had to make for school and I had to juggle a lot of things all at once to make sure I got everything done on time. I was obviously successful at that--summa cum laude, even--so I should be able to do this, too. Right?
I have to think of each one as a project, like it's due for school. It's an assignment. I have the job assignment, the debt reduction assignment, the weight loss assignment, the get my butt in the chair and write assignment and the friend....assignment.... Well, um, crap. You guys aren't an assignment. You're my friends and I like you. I want to talk to you. It's just that I'm out of the habit of it.
I suck.
Anyway, I thought I'd better drag out the white board, put up the assignments and give each one a task that I can work on and have done by the end of the week. And then each week, erase the old assignment and put up the new one. I've done this before, and not just with school. When Bren and I were still in the trailer and I was planning the whole finish the degree adventure, I broke down aspects of the process and put them up on the board with weekly assignments. I also put Bren up there (at least his name) and one or two things I wanted him to accomplish for the week so that he could move with me and do whatever. And I put financial things up there so I didn't lose track of those.
Am I just really OCD, or does anyone else do this? Or something similar? Does it work for you, or do you have something better?
I have a plan for #3 that might include this LJ, but it really depends on how much I feel like sharing. And it might be filtered. I have a pretty good idea who of you is not going to be interested, so I'll leave you out unless you want in. The default is out, so silence is construed as "no thanks."
And as for the rest of it....some evil little part of me is saying, "You're just doing this because you miss school." I might have to stab her with a knitting needle or something.