(no subject)
I think my psychiatrist just did the equivalent of breaking up with me over Facebook. I assume that's what it means when your psychiatric meds get refused a refill on the grounds you're "no longer a patient" and his office doesn't return your messages.
I get that he doesn't like it that I go 9-11 months between visits, and I respect that he doesn't like to feel like a drug dispensory. It's one of the reasons he's a good doctor. But it would be nice if I'd gotten a phonecall or something telling me what was up instead of just getting cut off cold-turkey from a medication prescribed for an anxiety disorder at the most stressful point of the past two years. It's actually gotten bad enough that I think I really do need regular therapy, but because my company is collapsing I'm only earning $386 a month and I cannot fucking afford it because sessions are $250 per hour.
The thing is, this isn't the end of the world. Presumably I'll eventually get in touch with him and straighten this out, or go to my mom's (cheaper) doctor. Likewise, I might as well try some time away from the sertraline anyway -- it'll save me a monthly expense, and plenty of people have and do go without. This is not a dire situation. But it is one that's pissing me off, because of all the reasons I should still be up and angry at 1:30 in the morning a mental health professional should not be one of them.
So fuck it. I'm up. I'm going to write.
I get that he doesn't like it that I go 9-11 months between visits, and I respect that he doesn't like to feel like a drug dispensory. It's one of the reasons he's a good doctor. But it would be nice if I'd gotten a phonecall or something telling me what was up instead of just getting cut off cold-turkey from a medication prescribed for an anxiety disorder at the most stressful point of the past two years. It's actually gotten bad enough that I think I really do need regular therapy, but because my company is collapsing I'm only earning $386 a month and I cannot fucking afford it because sessions are $250 per hour.
The thing is, this isn't the end of the world. Presumably I'll eventually get in touch with him and straighten this out, or go to my mom's (cheaper) doctor. Likewise, I might as well try some time away from the sertraline anyway -- it'll save me a monthly expense, and plenty of people have and do go without. This is not a dire situation. But it is one that's pissing me off, because of all the reasons I should still be up and angry at 1:30 in the morning a mental health professional should not be one of them.
So fuck it. I'm up. I'm going to write.