Welcoming a new year! :)
Hello everyone!! It's been a long time since I last posted, and I'm not even sure who is on here anymore but I am off work today and bored so I thought I would update! I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas and a great start to the new year :) 2011 was pretty darn awesome and I am looking forward to 2012!
First I have to ask because I have not followed in several years, but what's new on the Bleach front? Is it still going? Anything monumental happen? Did Ichigo finally figure out who Isshin really is? lol I doubt I will ever catch back up, but it'd be fun to know how it's progressing!!
Things have been going pretty well on my end. Aaron and I have been married for about 7 months now and I love him more and more each day. Sappy yes I know, but true :p I feel very lucky! It's definitely been a period of adjustment though for both of us. We didn't live together before we were married, so just getting used to each other's quirks and habits has been interesting to say the least! As much as we are similar and have in common, we are very different too. But I like that, we compliment each other in a lot of ways and if we were too much alike then what fun is that! I think our biggest difference though has been with finances. He's a spender, I'm a saver and it's been hard trying to mesh both of our opinions. Budgets suck! But we are making it work. It can be very difficult sometimes though. We have had other difficulties and stresses though too, people say the first year of marriage is one of the hardest and I definitely agree with that! But it's more than worth it.
I think our biggest struggles are that we both have things that are...not quite right with us I guess. His has more to do with anxiety and things like that. Mine are physical.
This is likely TMI so please skip it if you might be uncomfortable. I've been struggling a little emotionally for the last month so I thought it would be nice for me to just write about it. I've written about so many other personal things in this journal in the past so I figured why stop now lol. I have been irregular with my cycles since I was like 17, eventually getting to the point where I just wasn't having my period. I went on the pill several years ago and that just caused me more problems which is a whole other shitty topic, so I went off. And no cycles. To make a long story short, we now have really great health insurance through Aaron's work so at the beginning of November I found a really great gynocologist in our area and was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome. What essentially that means is that my hormones don't behave as they should, I have not enough of some and too much of others, and there are little cysts on my ovaries which prevent me from ovulating.
I kind of had an idea that this is what I might have, but it's so different thinking you might have something and then actually being told that you do. It was really really hard for me to accept that at first. There's no cure to it, but there are some ways to try to manage it. The hardest part is that it's going to make having kids a whole lot more difficult. My husband is wonderful and he listens to me when I'm upset, but the first thing he asked me is "are we going to have trouble having kids?" I don't blame him for that question at all, that was the first thing I thought of too. It terrifies me that we won't be able to. If I can't have children, it would absolutely crush me. The one thing in life that I want more than anything is to be a mother. It scares me that fertility drugs won't work, it scares me that we'll only have miscarriages because the risk goes up with women that have PCOS, it all just scares me. I know that it doesn't do me any good to think so far into the future. I don't know what will happen, we aren't at that stage yet, so it's only going to upset me further worrying about it. I am trying to just trust in God and know he has a plan. I have to believe He would not have given me such a strong desire to be a mother if it couldn't be achieved. Sometimes I let my fears of the future and the unknown consume me and I can't do that. But it's scary. And there are other effects physically that just suck. It makes me feel like less of a woman sometimes or that I'm failing at being a woman. I don't know how to explain it really. It sucks! lol :p of course I know logically that isn't true, it's not my fault and lots of women have this. And thankfully Aaron is very supportive and tells me that I am beautiful even when I don't believe it :) lol
I just have to stay positive! I am usually pretty good at that thankfully, but some days are harder. Just gotta keep on moving!
So yeah, overall though I can't complain too much. I am just thankful that we both have decent jobs and a nice little apartment to live!
For fun I am going to post some pictures from the wedding :) The photography studio that I work at did the pictures and I really like them! These are just the ones I've put on facebook :)
lol before I do, I don't think I posted here when I was having bridesmaid drama! I ended up kicking out one of my bridesmaids. Well, it was the one who was my best friend. She was constantly giving me a hard time about everything. She offered to design my invitations but when I wanted to see what she was working on she got snippy with me. When I explained to her that time was running out and that I needed to get them printed, she told me she was only spending her time on her paying clients (even though SHE offered to do them for me, I didn't ask). The last straw came when I asked her if she was coming to my bridal shower. She doesn't have a car and I was always her chauffeur but this day I was not able to take her. I wanted to spend time with Aaron afterwards, not take her home. She wasn't going to come and I told her how disappointed that made me, and essentially she ended up going off on me telling me that the world did not revolve around me and my premature wedding. She called me an asshole and told me to fuck off. That was it for me. She had blown up at me like that several times in the past and enough was enough. I ended up taking back the dress from her (i had paid for it expecting her to pay me back and she never did, so it technically was still mine) and kicked her out of the wedding. And my life basically. I don't deserve to be treated like that and was done with it. So my 15 year old cousin took her place and it all worked out beautifully! I haven't talked to her since then. Sometimes I miss our friendship, but not all the drama and not the way she treated me when she was angry, it's not worth it to me anymore.
So yeah, on to pictures!
And we went to Virginia Beach for our honeymoon :)
If anyone wants to see more of our photos, here's a little slideshow :) It just makes me smile and I wanted to share :)
First I have to ask because I have not followed in several years, but what's new on the Bleach front? Is it still going? Anything monumental happen? Did Ichigo finally figure out who Isshin really is? lol I doubt I will ever catch back up, but it'd be fun to know how it's progressing!!
Things have been going pretty well on my end. Aaron and I have been married for about 7 months now and I love him more and more each day. Sappy yes I know, but true :p I feel very lucky! It's definitely been a period of adjustment though for both of us. We didn't live together before we were married, so just getting used to each other's quirks and habits has been interesting to say the least! As much as we are similar and have in common, we are very different too. But I like that, we compliment each other in a lot of ways and if we were too much alike then what fun is that! I think our biggest difference though has been with finances. He's a spender, I'm a saver and it's been hard trying to mesh both of our opinions. Budgets suck! But we are making it work. It can be very difficult sometimes though. We have had other difficulties and stresses though too, people say the first year of marriage is one of the hardest and I definitely agree with that! But it's more than worth it.
I think our biggest struggles are that we both have things that are...not quite right with us I guess. His has more to do with anxiety and things like that. Mine are physical.
This is likely TMI so please skip it if you might be uncomfortable. I've been struggling a little emotionally for the last month so I thought it would be nice for me to just write about it. I've written about so many other personal things in this journal in the past so I figured why stop now lol. I have been irregular with my cycles since I was like 17, eventually getting to the point where I just wasn't having my period. I went on the pill several years ago and that just caused me more problems which is a whole other shitty topic, so I went off. And no cycles. To make a long story short, we now have really great health insurance through Aaron's work so at the beginning of November I found a really great gynocologist in our area and was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome. What essentially that means is that my hormones don't behave as they should, I have not enough of some and too much of others, and there are little cysts on my ovaries which prevent me from ovulating.
I kind of had an idea that this is what I might have, but it's so different thinking you might have something and then actually being told that you do. It was really really hard for me to accept that at first. There's no cure to it, but there are some ways to try to manage it. The hardest part is that it's going to make having kids a whole lot more difficult. My husband is wonderful and he listens to me when I'm upset, but the first thing he asked me is "are we going to have trouble having kids?" I don't blame him for that question at all, that was the first thing I thought of too. It terrifies me that we won't be able to. If I can't have children, it would absolutely crush me. The one thing in life that I want more than anything is to be a mother. It scares me that fertility drugs won't work, it scares me that we'll only have miscarriages because the risk goes up with women that have PCOS, it all just scares me. I know that it doesn't do me any good to think so far into the future. I don't know what will happen, we aren't at that stage yet, so it's only going to upset me further worrying about it. I am trying to just trust in God and know he has a plan. I have to believe He would not have given me such a strong desire to be a mother if it couldn't be achieved. Sometimes I let my fears of the future and the unknown consume me and I can't do that. But it's scary. And there are other effects physically that just suck. It makes me feel like less of a woman sometimes or that I'm failing at being a woman. I don't know how to explain it really. It sucks! lol :p of course I know logically that isn't true, it's not my fault and lots of women have this. And thankfully Aaron is very supportive and tells me that I am beautiful even when I don't believe it :) lol
I just have to stay positive! I am usually pretty good at that thankfully, but some days are harder. Just gotta keep on moving!
So yeah, overall though I can't complain too much. I am just thankful that we both have decent jobs and a nice little apartment to live!
For fun I am going to post some pictures from the wedding :) The photography studio that I work at did the pictures and I really like them! These are just the ones I've put on facebook :)
lol before I do, I don't think I posted here when I was having bridesmaid drama! I ended up kicking out one of my bridesmaids. Well, it was the one who was my best friend. She was constantly giving me a hard time about everything. She offered to design my invitations but when I wanted to see what she was working on she got snippy with me. When I explained to her that time was running out and that I needed to get them printed, she told me she was only spending her time on her paying clients (even though SHE offered to do them for me, I didn't ask). The last straw came when I asked her if she was coming to my bridal shower. She doesn't have a car and I was always her chauffeur but this day I was not able to take her. I wanted to spend time with Aaron afterwards, not take her home. She wasn't going to come and I told her how disappointed that made me, and essentially she ended up going off on me telling me that the world did not revolve around me and my premature wedding. She called me an asshole and told me to fuck off. That was it for me. She had blown up at me like that several times in the past and enough was enough. I ended up taking back the dress from her (i had paid for it expecting her to pay me back and she never did, so it technically was still mine) and kicked her out of the wedding. And my life basically. I don't deserve to be treated like that and was done with it. So my 15 year old cousin took her place and it all worked out beautifully! I haven't talked to her since then. Sometimes I miss our friendship, but not all the drama and not the way she treated me when she was angry, it's not worth it to me anymore.
So yeah, on to pictures!
And we went to Virginia Beach for our honeymoon :)
If anyone wants to see more of our photos, here's a little slideshow :) It just makes me smile and I wanted to share :)